/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

I used to want to be a comic book artist when I was in high school. Those skills of drawing Spider-Man everyday eventually devolved into making silly comic characters.

I built the pages using Paint.Net, which I like way better than Photoshop. It's way simpler to use, and I don't need everything Photoshop offers anyway.

One of the problems with my book is that 90% of the pages could just be green grass and blue sky for the background. Bleah. I could never get colors and perspectives... I only wanted to ever draw Spider-Mans.

This anon may not have the best skills but he's fucking trying. Learn from him, retards.

>>6346257
I originally posted this here in Jan... FEBRUARY 2020. Don't be too nice.

>So he ate it.

>>6346257
>did nothing for 2.5 years
>trying
I’d probably neck myself if I ever failed that hard and had art that shitty my god

Ug 2 backgrounds in a row with just a simple color. I do need to neck myself.

My coworker is an editor, when I mentioned my childrens book, he told me a lot.
Unfortunatally I don't remember most of it but he did say that publishers like a story/background for the author, and they want you to travel around, do readings at libraries and shit. If you can get connections with schools to do something like live reads, it really helps sell you to Big Book.

>>6346331
Oh and another thing. You will need to change the name of Jimmy for legal reasons if you want to sell this. I know and you know it's not about the band, but the music industry is run by kikes, and they will see "Jimmy Eat-" and say you're trying to cash in on "Jimmy Eat World"
Also I love your story, and the design of Jimmy and those bugs. Very original, and kids love funny looking bugs (Ive worked with 3-6 year olds for over a decade) but your art really doesn't cut it.
Hire a fivver drone to do your backgrounds, and you focus on the close up stuff, then have someone with skill do the coloring.
If you actually want to get published, then you really dont want to have any other names attached to this other than you (more advice from my editor friend)

>>6346331
>readings at libraries

That's before selling to a Big Book publisher? Is a Big Book company really even necessary anymore? I used to teach middle school, which is where my idea for this book actually came from. I used to make the 8th graders write personalized books for the 1st graders. Tons of great stuff came from them so I needed to put something together myself and Jimmy Eats World is what I came up with.

Teaching 8th graders how to draw was always fun too. On my curriculum was the requirement for kids to bring fine-tip Sharpies.

I wonder if a YouTube reading can also substitute for library reading now too.... hmm.....

>>6346349
>Jimmy Eats World
Oh shit I was wrong about the inspiration. Yeah you have to change the name. I too worked at schools, so I think a library reading would be easy for you, you have connections.

It would be in tandem with selling yourself to a publisher.
>Hey I'm a former teacher, I know all these kids, I have connections with X Y and Z schools, and they all agreed to let me do readings there, and the libraries in the district are willing to buy X amount of copies (just speak to a few principles in the disctrict, they love that they can brag about local authors, and it only cost them a few bucks)
Now of course, you can do this all by yourself first, and if it works out, then you have a shit ton of leverage with publishers.
It cost fuck all to print 100 paperback colored copies of a book. I'd buy one for my school

>>6346349
Anyway, that's all the advice I have.
As someone else who is also working on a childrens book (picrel), I wish you the best, but maybe don't post your entire unredacted story here.
What's to stop some pajeet stealing an easy free story and making it for rupees on the dollar? People are lazy, and you're giving out a free storyboard.

>>6346369
Hey, thanks tons. Is that all digital inking? I have never been able to get the "feel" right of the digital lines.... something about natural curves and bubbleness and changing-thickness. When I've tried it's looked too "robotic".

I probably need to use actual ink brushes instead of just sizes. And then practice a bunch. But I like what you have there.

And I've posted the entire thing before both here and on my FB. If somebody stole it I could easily prove that it belongs to me (plus I have the original penciled pages).

Kids like gross stuff, right?

>>6346433
I can see some parents and teachers throwing you a stink over the "kid eats a puke covered hotdog"

>>6346445
There are poop books and poop toys and poop games out there now. Puke is PC today.

>Then Jimmy saw a BWEAUTIFUL butterfly.

I'll post the rest tomorrow morning, so you'll get a chance to see Jimmy's hot mom.

>So he ate it.

>>6346331
op isn't allowed near schools tho

Jimmy's mom. I know you were all waiting.

Is this just an elaborate ruse for OP to inject his sicko fetish into small children?

>>6347001
Jimmy's not actually going to eat his mom dude.

>>6346245
Please continue spreading degeneracy among English-speaking children. You are doing God's work!

>>6347027
This is my safe for children children's book.

I'll upload some of my NOT SAFE children's books later.

Final page. I'll upload some of my other artwork to keep the conversation bumped, but help and critique on "Jimmy Eats Everything" is what I'm hoping for.

Oh, and more ways to go get it published so I can get some copies in my hands.

Something I sketched back when I used to know how to draw.

>>6347166

>>6347095
Did he die?

>>6347203
I wish.

Posting another book here, called Chunks Happen. The coloration on my scans is terrible, so I'll have to rescan and redigitize it all someday.

>>6347252

>>6347256

>>6347263

>>6347264

>>6347276

>>6347288

>>6347322

>>6347350

>>6347361

>>6347366

>>6347376

>>6347383

>>6347389
Last page of Chunks Happen.

And yes, based on a true story.

>>6346245
/beg/ tier artwork and disgusting subject matter. who's the demographic for this exactly?

>>6346985
Jimmy's mom has got it going on

>>6347463
Duh. Disgusting though? Chunks Happen is not for kids. And kids, for some reason, love puke and gross things.

I'll post another book I did tomorrow.

>>6347707

I'll post a new children's book today.... again with the idea that kids like creepy stuff. This one is:

>The Sad Little Lion

And again..... my goddamn backgrounds are absolutely terrible.

>>6348047

>>6348050

>>6348054

>>6348057
God I hate these backgrounds.

>>6348059

>>6348060

>>6348061

>>6348067

>>6348069

Is this a sex thing fo your OP?

>>6348070


>>6348075
What? Jimmy's mom maybe.

>>6348108

>>6346433
why him na eat da godamn dog, he nah hungry or wat bro?

no idea about the publishing, just had to post to say i love all three very much

>>6348606
Hey thanks. Let me post another book before I go to bed.

Okay, this is my best book. I liked that I had actual background stuff to draw. I'll post another book tomorrow while still hoping for tips on my first book on the page.

>>6348929

>>6348931

>>6348934

>>6346246
This post reminds me, does anyone have that image that depicts an artist trying his hardest not to draw spiderman? In one panel I think they try to draw a flowerpot but "accidentally" gives it spider man legs, it was hilarious, and I can't seem to find it again.

>>6348936
Girl was based on my friend Kerry, who used to post on /cgl/.

>>6348940

>>6348943

>>6348944

>>6346245
>wants to relase a Children book
>posts on 4chan
Bro it's so over

>>6346288
Go ahead, you clearly failed in your life anyways.

>>6348946
https://www.deviantart.com/azazel1944/art/The-augur-160794330

This guy is awesome. I need to buy some, frame it, and put it in my living room next to my Christian Angel art and Pui Che.

https://www.puillustrated.com/
https://www.artstation.com/christian-angel

>>6348952
Holy fuck I just realized I had a Cracked tab on that page. How fucking long ago did I make this thing?

>>6348953

>>6348961

Literally ngmi

>>6348971

>80 replies
>18 posters
We don't need more schizos on this god forsaken board kill yourself

>>6346245
your art sucks but I admire your work ethic OP

>>6348980
End of this book, Talk Nerdy to Me. I'll post another book tomorrow.

>>6348987
And I'm sure that most of them are me posting more of my cartooning, since the 62 image posts are from me. So eh... do better math.

>>6348996
Yeah exactly as in "so few posters because it's one schizo screaming into the void as if anyone gives a shit about his grotesque sub-/beg/ work" end your life

>>6348996
heh, never mind them. i love this one lots, too.
the devart bit was great.

>>6349014
really liking what you did with the night-with-open door panel, too, and the chick’s lively & gestural stances

>>6349014
Thanks tons. Got any clues how to better my cartooning background skills? I think Talk Nerdy to Me works best, because there are actual things to put in the background that matter. But mostly.... backgrounds are just filler.

Besides.... this board is slow enough that everyone could probably have their own thread. How long does it take for a thread to fall off? nearly a week? This board is too slow to put everyone into /beg/.

I'll post another book called "The Sad Little Snake" in a minute.

>>6349469

>>6349474

>>6349476

>>6349478

>>6349479

>>6349480

>>6349482

>>6349483

>>6346245
>panscamic
smoothbrain language
smoothbrain comic

>>6349494

>>6349506

>>6349515
Final page for The Sad Little Snake.

Hmmm.... maybe I should make a Twatter tonight. Post everything there.

>>6349505
You think the pandemic was real? Go take another booster and remember to not pick your Monkey Pox scabs.

>>6349777
>lashes out with scripted response and a jpg
smoothbrain NPC

>>6351122

>>6351178

pretty weird, dont think your gonna get published

>>6351274

>>6346985
Why is the sidewalk 5x the size of Jimmy when Jimmy is already 3x the size of a grown adult?

THE 'ARTIST' HAS NO PORTION CONTROL JUST LIKE JIMMY!

HAHA LOL

>>6351473

>>6352222


>>6351513
Jimmy's fat dude.

>>6346284

>>6346245
You can just hear the mental illness screaming from off these OP.

>>6346245
That's pretty awful. Everything is bad, the drawings, the colors, the text, the story.
Making children books doesn't mean you have to draw like a child. Have you studied some children books before making yours ?

>>6352224

>>6352863
>have you studied

Studied children's books? Are the people who have Gender Studies degrees needing someone to look down on?

>>6352633
Saved. Your bugs look terrible, but I love it.

>>6353040
Maybe "studied" was not the right word but if you don't know what was already done for children books you're bound to come with unoriginal or terrible ideas. And everything you've posted so far fell in those categories. On top of that, none of your work is suitable for children.

>>6347095
this was awesome

>>6353040


>>6353052
I've seen a bunch and I have no ability to do those things. My abilities are in shitty cartooning.... a devolved form of my old comic-book style. I know my limits.

>>6353220
Thanky thanky. Got any tips on how to make my backgrounds better? I suck at backgrounding.

>>6353382

>>6354126

>>6355342
no no no
dont eat fly

>>6355342

>>6356151
>>6355902
>>6355902
>>6355902
What else could you expect?

Where's the tranny spoidah?

Bleah. I used to know how to draw a little.

>>6352633
I look like this.

>>6347366
> This is why I sleep with men!

i'm not sure what, but there's something here. you could put these all up on some free website, repost them on twatter and.. idk, get the attention you need, the approval of others? I dont think you drew these for kids, you drew these to post and seem edgy? I don't mean that in a confrontational way, I went through the same kinda phase, but if instead of attention you do these because you like having finished some silly comics, keep it up and post more. I like them

>>6362950
Some are for kids, sure. Some are just being edgy. Case in point:

>>6346256
I did this when recovering from anorexia. Hunger is a scary thing

>>6364396

>>6364695

>>6366044

I think your art is too simple. It looks lazy and unpolished, like you used colored pencils not as a stylistic choice but because your skills are equal to that of an average third grader's. Maybe grind some Loomis?

I'm going to be brutally honest. Don't let it discourage you, practice makes perfect and at least you're trying.

Right now, you do not have any skills in "old comic book style shitty cartooning". You have no skills at all, but that can be fixed with some practice. I suggest getting some art books (there's some good ones listed in the beginner thread I think) and reading some children's books to see what your intended audience actually likes. If you're trying to sell stuff to grade schoolers keep in mind their mothers control the purse strings, so your stories should have more substance than just gross-out humor.

>>6346245
This one is probably your best book in terms of art, but the story is lacking. Eating an old candy bar, a vomit covered hot dog and a butterfly isn't much of an adventure. I don't think kids will enjoy this.

>>6347252
That one is more sad than funny. It's too obvious that the author is a single guy who doesn't get much sex, it feels like reading an incel manifesto or a suicide note.

>>6348047
The ending will make kids cry. The story isn't funny-gross, it's just tragic.

>>6348929
1. You can't say "tard" in a children's book if you want to get it published.

2. Kids will not care about your love quest, their understanding of romance is very limited. I'm just going to assume this story is actually aimed at adults.

3. It's too obvious this book is based on your life, it reads like a diary. No one will buy this.

>>6349469
This is just a clone of your lion story.

>>6351122
Why do you keep writing the same story with different animals? That's just the lion story again.

>>6364396
This is the fourth time you made a clone of that story. For what purpose?

>>6349384
If you have nothing to put in the background, try to make the characters bigger and more elaborate.

>>6367128

>>6367611
Some of the books are for kids, and others for adults. I've actually read the "Jimmy Eats Everything" book to kids before, and they love the puke/butterfly/grossness. These were mostly 1st-2nd graders.

The "Lion" books are supposed to all be copies. That's the point. I tend to think it's funnier when you know exactly what is going to happen and know what is coming. The first Lion book was written with an 8 year old girl over breakfast with her family -- and she thought knowing the Lion was going to eat the deer was just hilarious.

Obviously though, the deer-eats-grass version isn't for kids. But in my brain this same story could be done with video game characters, movie characters, etc.

The girl at the end of "Chunks Happen" was my girlfriend at the time. She was with me when the "true story" happened of 2 ugly fat girls not wearing enough clothes came into our coffee shop and started loudly talking to dudes.

And yes, "Talk Nerdy to Me" was written for adults.... most particularly the adults who were trying to set me up with the dream girl in the story. Not sure why you keep thinking I'm some lonely level 42 wizard.

>>6367764
Hmmm..... thank you. I'll see if that might improve a few things. I think my lettering might need to shift as well to make way for some things, but the example helps put an idea in my brain.

You could also do something like this and shove several illustrations on one page if you need to fill space.

>>6368358
If you’re planning on ever marketing these they need an incredibly drastic overhaul. Children don’t buy childrens books. Parents do. Kids might enjoy poop and puke and creepy humor, but kids are basically retarded, and no parent would ever buy something so morbid to read to their child. It’s not even morbid in a charming or skillful way like other creepy kids book comics (gorey is specifically what I have in mind), that conflicts childishness and darkness in an appealing way, these are honestly just kinda creepy.
My first piece of advice is to work on your drawing skills. As they stand, they’re basically non existent. The people calling this beg tier are insulting begs, who at least are trying, but this is literally sonichu tier. Childrens books live and die by the strength of their illustrations, and while many adopt a simplistic style, they tend to be drawn by extremely skilled artists. Look at the draftsmanship in something like where the wild things are, or the giving tree, and you’ll see how sophisticated the artwork really is. Even books with shittier art are still miles above where you are right now. Childrens books are surprisingly a very competitive industry, and something that looks so amateurish (Scratchy colored pencils and the fill bucket) will never come close to cutting it.
My second piece of advice has to do with the strength of your prose. You’re right in assuming that childrens books don’t need to have grand stories (one of the most successful ever is just saying good night over and over) but they’re well written for as simplistic as they are. What I mean by that is that they’re pleasant to read (remember you’re marketing to parents to read them to their kids) and have clear sentence structure and often a rhythmic or even rhyming component to them. Your words as written do not come across as structured at all, instead seeming more just like stream of consciousness babble.

>>6368948
Biggest piece of advice I can give you though is to work hard on your fundamentals. You’re miles away from tackling a project like this where you are.

>>6368358

>>6368948
>these
I think you're still missing what I'm trying to say. I'm only interested in publishing the "Jimmy Eats Everything" book. I'm just posting the others here so I can get more feedback on J.E.E.

The "Good Night" book you mention is probably geared more for 3 year olds, and pre-kindergarten. I'm wanting to target this more towards 1st-2nd grade. Those are miles apart. Then again, I've met 2nd graders who had finished the entire Harry Potter series and others who couldn't read beyond the A, B, Cs. Also, I've read Edward Gorey to elementary school kids... but really about 5th grade is the youngest who Gashlycrumb Tinies is appropriate for.

>>6368905
Hmmmm.... arg.... most of my books like this are about 12 pages. So I don't think I'd need to minimize them.

>>6369955
Okay well everything I said applies to jimmy eats everything, maybe more so than the others. The artwork is amateurish. The story is too bizarre to market to parents (remember, kids don’t have money, parents buy them shit), more so even than the others because we actually see a child eat trash and puke on the page. The prose has no rhythm or charm to it. The story also seems to me way too simplistic for a six year old. Grumbly tummies and I’m hungry seems more in the preschool demographic. More specifically jimmys mom is not an appropriate design for this demographic. Biggest problem though is still your drawing skills which just aren’t up to par. Work on fundamentals and appeal

>>6369955

>>6370180
>drawing skills which just aren't up to par.

Got any examples of a better stylistic design?

>Captcha: YM0NKY

>>6372034
>a better stylistic design
This isn’t a design issue m8, the drawings are just bad. They’re flat, scratchy, lifeless and volumeless, your lack of knowledge being embellished by your weird attempts at perspective which just illustrate how much you don’t know what you’re doing. If you actually think these look anywhere close to a professional level you’re insane

>>6372034

>>6372276
I'll wait for you to show me what you recommend. Feel free to show me some round, scratchless, lifey, volumeful stuff.

>>6352633
I clicked on the reply link and spit all over my fucking screen, holy shit

>>6373811
Not him, but In The Night Kitchen has really good art for a kids picturebook

>>6373811
I don’t know if you’re trolling but the first response I posted was an image example, and in my first post I posted several examples of illustrations from famous childrens books. They’re mostly pictures, so you need strong illustrations for them to hold up. Your drawing skills are very low, to the point where it’s honestly hard to isolate a single example of an image that can exemplify a particular area where you could improve.
Pic related the main character of the giving tree, which has a very simplified illustrative style (almost purely linear, flat colors, stuff like that) but even here you can see a level of detail and intentionality that just isn’t present in your drawings. Like I said though, this sort of project seems too advanced for you at the moment, so I don’t know how much a single example is going to help.

>>6375081
Another example at the opposite end of the spectrum. Simplistic, but in a very different way. Notice some similarities though, namely that every mark looks intentional, the composition of the images is strong, the forms of the characters, though simple, have a consistency to their line, and immediately identifiable gestures that communicate a weight that jimmy doesn’t have.
Notice how the characters have simple but recognizable designs. The overalls of the boy from giving tree, or the bright red snow suit, they’re recognizable and appealing in a way that jimmy is not, as jimmy doesn’t look so different from a simple stick figure.

>>6375092
These examples are on the very simple side, but there are many childrens books that have extremely complex illustrations. The double spread pages from the Eloise books come to mind, or as the other anon mentioned, the cityscapes from the night kitchen. Work on your fundies if you’re serious about every publishing jimmy eats everything. But at this point I’m pretty certain you’re a troll.

>>6375102
And to show I’m not cherry-picking, here’s the first result I found when I went to Amazon, and typed in childrens book. I don’t think this illustration is particularly good, but compare it to jimmy eats everything. Notice how the color isn’t scratch colored pencil. Notice how the character has a clear expressive face. Notice how the lines are smooth and consistent. Childrens books generally have a pretty high quality of illustrations and are an incredibly competitive market. Step your game up.

>>6373811

>>6375081
>++

I find it strange that on a artwork board, you'd post Shel Silverstein, godawful ugly Keats, and an artist that a writer hired...

This is an art board. Why not post something of your own as an example? I already know that I am not Shel Silverstein.

>>6375348
My work isn’t applicable here because I’m not interested in making childrens books. Posting my work isn’t going to demonstrate the flaws with yours. Nor am I interested in redesigning your characters for you, or redrawing your book. If you want me to work for you, pay me. I’d offer something like a redline, but with fundamentals this poor I honestly don’t know where to begin.
>p-p-post your work!
I’ve attached a recent figure study I did so you can’t say I’m afraid to share my own drawings. I’m not pretending to be a pro or anything, but if you’re going to ask for feedback, be willing to accept it.

>>6372034
>>6373811
The biggest issue is that your art looks amateurish, like you're only drawing in this style because you lack skills. I think it's the combo of coloring pencils, MS paint and the generic font that gives Jimmy Eats Everything heavy Sonichu vibes.

Compare it to, say, Millions of Cats. The art is simple but stylized in a way that looks intentional.

>>6375348

>>6376246
I really like the style in that cartooning... though the page-setup for them is terrible. Jeez get someone to do your layouts lady. But the kitties are adorable.

>>6375429
>isn't going to demonstrate the flaws
Sure. But it puts some things in perspective. Your crosshatching is pretty great. I always did pencil shading, which made comic book art difficult because they always prefer the crosshatches and I was terrible at them. I'll post an old "comic book Star Wars" page when I finish The Sad Little Deer.

>>6376552

>>6346245
>>6346246
>>6346256
>>6346284
>>6346301
>>6346349
>OP: tl;dr-ing his boring life story
>me: completely ignoring it and Kek-ing at OP's story book about a kid with pica who would likely eat a dog turd if given a chance

>>6347045
this ones kinda fucked up, i would redo it personally, but maybe people won't care

>>6347045

So we are gonna see some r34 of the mom?

>>6378382
why would you want to

>>6377868

>>6378382
I'd totally save it on my phone and share it with my friends.

>>6378359
Some kids once brought this up and thought a good sequel would be Jimmy eating a sofa, lightbulbs, toilet paper, and a table. The best "ending" I could come up with though was the same as this book.... but if you just ate a table and now are too full to eat spaghetti and hot-dogs, well, you still need to see a doctor right away.

Hire someone to write the story because it is fucking garbagej4jrxn

>>6346257
>he's fucking trying
he's not fucking trying, look at this shit, grade school children draw at this level
also
>teaching children to eat garbage
what's the point of this "book" is this some weird fetish shit? kys op

>>6382333
Remember this is supposedly 2 years of work too.

>>6380846