/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

Some western / indie publishers that seem to have a decent readership and are tolerant of or specifically cater to Manga:

Saturday AM ( https://www.saturday-am.com/ )
> Digital indie magazine, seems to be on the up-and-up
> Open submissions for long-form series; also distributes series currently being published elsewhere.
> Regularly publishes one-shots, making it a good potential outlet for already-finished work.

Noir Caesar ( https://www.noircaesar.com/ )
> Focuses on black (specifically African-American) content, but seems willing to publish anyone good enough.
> Seemingly series-based only.
> No "magazine" style updates; series are updated on their own schedule.
> Seems less regular than Saturday AM, but also seems larger in terms of readership.

Oni Press ( https://onipress.com/ )
> Technically indie, but at this point large enough by comic standards to be mentioned in the same breath as other publishers.

Antarctic Press ( https://antarctic-press.myshopify.com/ )
> Longtime large-indie publisher of OEL / manga-esque books.
> Seemingly taking submissions at present if http://www.antarctic-press.com/html/submissions.php is anything to go on.

Viz Media / Viz Originals ( https://www.viz.com/originals )
> *The* western manga publisher.
> Currently in the exploratory stages of setting up an English label.
> Submissions are open and several books have been announced. However, progress on the label seems to be moving very slowly.
> Still might be worth a shot anyway.

How (You) can help /mmg/:

> Know about a contest or a publishing opportunity? TAG THE OP and post a link.
> Have a new resource? TAG THE OP and link / mention it for conclusion.
> Have a link / DL for a mentioned resource? TAG THE OP and mention what you're supplying a link for.
> SCREENSHOT / PASTEBIN effortposts that help you for posterity.

Progress check! Post illustrations / covers / scripts / layouts / pages / visdev / whatever else you've been working on.

I committed to making a 31 page manga/comic for inktober. Here is the sketch for the first page, going to print it out and ink it tomorrow. Trying to get better at inking too.

I’ve never done this before, so let me know if you have any tips or feedback on paneling, dialog, layout, content, characters pretty much everything...

I’ll drop this without any context to see if its readable

>>4904410
Rather than having the feet just stand around. It’d be nice if they were in motion. I’d complain about the composition of the last panel too, but I’m not sure if you plan on drawing the borders? Or is this the full page image?

>he doesnt buy an extra collection of a series for study
ngmi

>>4904446
other authors flatout copy other mangaka panels?

>>4904643
Yes, as has been the standard since Tezuka.
Obviously they don't put the "copies" in their own manga, but they do it to study.
This shouldn't surprise you, master studies are a thing.

>>4904446
studying from Bleach
what an amateur
who is this NEBU_KURO chud

>>4904367
I entered art classes this months. Right now, reproducing pre-existing images to be able of keeping proportions and axis when redrawing at a bigger scale from reference.

An anon reccomended me last thread 1 daily hour of figure drawing. I'm open to all sort of advice.

>>4904761
A good way to learn is repetition. Animators going on a new project generally trace the source or charcter sheet material hundreds of times to get used to the line flow and style (or used to). They then start reproducing the style until it matches perfectly to source or art diirector etc.

Fashion designers taught me a lot early on for figures - trace poses and then use the tracing to produce your 8 or 10 or 12 head style to maintain the proportions and style. Fashion has long legs, so taking a pose and adapting for 9 heads or whatever is a challenge and teaches a lot. Zoe hong on youtube has a lot of videos and tutorials that teach this method. It applies to all art and is fundamental.

https://youtu.be/XzD60RfgdfE

Try minicing the process a few times. Its very useful and getting the key points of the figure and mappiing it helps you learn the skills to do it naturally. Repetition in a structured manner is key - not aimless, gives direction and achieveable goal to produce well proportioned and gestured figures.

at awe at these japanese artist, went to sleep watching someone start his sketch on pixiv live, woke up and he posted the finished piece on twitter

>Have a comic idea for years
>Keep changing the setting but all characters, plot events stay the same
>Have remade the first chapter 3 times

I have plenty of free time to do it, I just waste it all like right now. I can't seem to settle on the setting / aesthetic of the world because I don't want generic backgrounds. I also have a dark-toned plot, but can't help putting jokes in all the time

>>4905050
Maybe you feel so disjointed because you’re treating it as a hobby? Not that you have to commit to it 100%. But might be nice to have a proper end goal for your project?

i would like to start writing and drawing horror, what are the must read horror mangas?

Would it be worth the time and money to go to a japanese vocational art school? assuming you knew the language to the level needed.

>>4905203
Mieruko chan is a nice horror

>>4905203
Probably anything from junji ito or stuff like higurashi.

>>4905230
been reading that aswell it's nice

>>4905230
>>4905238
okay thank you friends, i'll get to reading and studying

>>4905226
IMO it’s probably more efficient to study your favorite mangaka than go to a vocational school. They seem to produce mixed results in terms of success. If you’re proficient at the language you have access to a whole lot of information online and in book form as well. But, I don’t know what your end goals is.

>>4905250
On another note, not sure if the higurashi manga is even that good I only read the VN.

>>4905255
Part of it is wanting to be able to live in japan with a student visa too, but I still would only want choose that route if it was cost effective at improving my art.

>>4905282
Cost effective? Probably not. There’s something to be said about getting new experiences that you can use for writing tho. And being familiar with the culture. But, according to another anon most foreigners end up writing about being a foreigner in Japan. So there seems to be some pitfalls there too.
Knowing for instance what type of stories you’d like to write, where you’d want to be published ect. Seems more valuable to me. That way you can focus on exactly what you need and polish that up.

>>4905282
If you want cost effectiveness, then the number one option every time regardless of the kind of art you want to learn is to just stay where yoh are and learn off the internet, or go to a local school / art academy / learning circle if you really want structure or a teacher or a social environment to go with that. The internet has so much supplementary information that teaching yourself has become easier than ever. The only reason why you would ever want to go to an international school is for networking or creds in something like the animation industry or the gallery art scene.

>>4905305
>>4905308
I mostly half way wanted to use it as an avenue to experience living in japan with potentially the added bonus of improving my art skills. It seems from how you describe it wouldn't be the most effective way to improve which is understandable.
I didn't plan on trying to get published in japan as a foreigner, only wanted to live in another country while improving art, but at least hoped it would be worth the cost in terms of art improvement to money spent. Not that I wouldn't be completely against working in japan as an artist in some way, if it wasn't too hellish which I've heard it is.
Anyways thanks for the input anons.

>>4905342
Well you should be aware that for a school like that, they’d teach you paneling and story construction and such. You won’t necessarily become a better artist. I believe a German “mangaka” went to one but her art has stayed the same in the past decade. Can’t comment on her paneling, composition and storytelling since I haven’t read any of her work in a long time. Making a manga and drawing in manga style are two separate things.
If you want to live in Japan, I hear people work as English teachers a lot. I know one anon lives there, but not sure what he does for work.

>>4905367
That's very good to know because I was imagining they would be teaching general art fundamentals relating to anime/manga style art.
I would be more open to something like teaching if I wasn't such a social autist.

>>4905389
They probably cover the basics. But as in any art school, you’ll only get what you put in. If time is precious to you, you might get annoyed that you’re forced to do all sorts of classes that don’t bring you closer to what you want. But, in any case you have to apply yourself and do the grunt work.

>>4905389
> I was imagining they would be teaching general art fundamentals

Very few art colleges, east or west, actually do this. They all expect some amount of baseline competency when you apply, which is why you have to submit a portfolio when you apply to these places. When you show up at the door of any half-decent art college with an application process, they already expect you to be capable of some degree of form, perspective, and anatomy. Everything that they teach you on top of that is material that reinforces the things you already know, and increases your ability to use those things in complex situations. If they all taught fundamentals from the ground up, then they wouldn't require that you send in a portfolio for review at all, because they'd just be teaching you everything that you need to know in the first place.

Drawing 101 is something that they expect you to take in high school or cultivate on your own. Likely the reason why they only teach paneling, layout, and structure if >>4905367 is correct is because they already expect you to be able to draw, just like how places like SCAD or CalArts already expect you to know how to draw, or Gobelins already expects you to know how to animate.

>>4905367
>If you want to live in Japan, I hear people work as English teachers a lot.
Alright anons EX TESOL teacher here
be careful as you can be locked into certain contracts, these can include where you end up living. landlords can be funny and turf you out on a dime, especially if your well a filthy gaijin. I hear it's somewhat, better now.

You deal with stuff the other staff do not want to deal with. this can include club work, paperwork, and anything they can offload on you ( fun fact had to deal with some insane bullying with basic jp) so they can boink each other in the staff room ( it was worse in Korea but still)
I only did it for a few terms to get the certificates.

>>4904939
Thank you for all this feedback, I had no idea about this, I thought tracing would be outright cheating.

>>4905457
When you’re tracing or copying something, it’s easy to just zone out and not pay attention to what you’re doing. I suggest to be mindful of the proportions, spacing and line weight of the work you’re studying. I suggest you trace an image, copy the image than see if you can draw from memory. That way you increase your visual library.

>>4905476
Thanks, I was actually precisely pondering about that. I've always admired the artwork of Yuusuke Nakano ever since I played Ocarina of Time back in 1999 and loved to see the artwork in the manual. Now that his art in high quality leaked, I'll be doing exactly that, as well with his F-Zero and Twilight Princess art.

>>4905479
That’s great! I’m currently studying work from Kaoru Mori, Naoki Urasawa and Kamome Shirahama. I think I’ll use this month to practice hatching and backgrounds.

As a side note to the anons who where wondering about digital crosshatching. I’ve changed my cursor in CSP to “pixel dot” for inking and it made hatching and inking much easier. I wasn’t aware how much the default cursor actually annoyed me. It might be worth a try.

>>4905534
>I’ve changed my cursor in CSP to “pixel dot”
How you do that? I'm at work right now until the evening, so I can't check.

>>4905534
Neat! Other inspirations for me to get on drawing animu are Takashi Shiina and Rui Araizumi as well. On the western side of things, Frank Frazetta, I love his rendering and I can see how it inspired the artwork of Twilight Princess. Plus, I love me sum Conan.

In general, I really like the style of 90's anime, so I'm trying to get a feel for the style of that era.

>>4905540
File/ Preferences/ Cursor / Pen-type cursor/ Single Pixel dot. There’s a few other cursors to choose from, but I prefer the single pixel.

>>4905545
Nice! You have a nice assortment of artists to learn from! I’m still hitting myself on the head for not doing studies sooner. Do you plan on doing manga digitally or traditionally?

>>4905569
Definitely digitally. Traditional does catch my attention but it's not convenient for my budget, and screentones are imposible to find here.

>not doing studies sooner
I feel you, I feel like a damn idiot for not being more serious about this until about 2 years and a half ago when I was 27. I just now turned 20. In my teens and early 20's I did drew but my will was completely killed when a then-friend who also drew for some magazine said that "I don't love art, I merely love doodling, therefore I'll never improve". That really killed it for me and for years I just focused on D&D. Now, I want to git gud and draw stories based on those D&D games.

>>4905579
Yeah, I feel the same about traditional. And I’ve already upgraded my digital tools, so no point in spending more.
>I just now turned 20.
I’m going to assume you meant 30, haha.
I can relate on the doodling part. I saw some gains over the years, but they were at snails pace. Never committed to finishing much, never started a project either.
My downfall was getting addicted to mmorpgs and I let my art take a sidetrack for about a decade too. I’m in my thirties now and quitting gaming was the best thing for me. Some anons meme about making it in a year and such. But my art really skyrocketed after one year of just hermit drawing. It helps that I knew what to avoid this time around.

>>4905606
Not that guy but how did you sustain basically NEETing a full year money wise? And are you making money from drawing?

Asking because I'm in some similar situation now, where I want to focus on drawing but I'm not on a level where I could take paid requests yet, and don't have a job.

>>4905606
I completely meant 30, yes. I wish I was 20 that badly. I guess I should count my blessings I look younger than my co-workers, who are younger than me...

Also ditto, I got an XP Pen tablet. What did you avoid? As for me, I quit gaming more because I can't simply afford it anymore. Money is way too tight. I did start and finish a project, though, I participated on the Tezuka manga contest. I'm proud it's the first project I ever finished, but it also drives me to be better, that this first project SHOULD NOT be my cap.

I guess I should post my entry, shouldn't I? I don't mean to attention whore at all, I just want to make up for the time lost.

>https://medibang.com/book/xa2008160455174220015722729/

>>4904410
First page done >>4905639 I sketched the next page yesterday

>>4904424
I moved the feet around a bit, it was kind of hard to layer them, i think i should have gone darker with the BG. I added the borders after, but i printed to the edge and it clipped off a bunch of content. I’ll just print it with borders next time.

>>4905625
Quite honestly, I just got lucky in a sense and I don’t have to work. I could be making money at the time, but was too retarded and insecure to attempt it. I did do a random commission before COVID hit. But since I can afford it, I’m focusing on manga instead. Not sure that helps, but if you have any art questions I can do my best to help.
>>4903901 this is my work now.

>>4905625
Ah, I’m the type what was drawing my whole life. So I dabbled in a bit of everything, anime, realistic, sculpting ect. Now I know what to focus on and how to get there and what works for me and what doesn’t.
It’s great you finished the one shot! I’ll give it a read in a bit. I started mine late and ran out of time. Might revisit it again later.

>>4905673
Looks a lot better. I suggest you plan the borders before sketching in. The last panel feels a bit too zoomed in. Both feet are cut off and I think if you just scale it down a bit it’d look much nicer.
A bit of a nit picky comment. The last expression seems a bit too mild compared to the third panel. Maybe make it look more defeated or annoyed, maybe pouty?

Found some really nice tutorial on youtube on manga creation.
It got partial english subs aswell.
Maybe it will be of some help to someone here?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-8f2xIQ3v8

>>4905702
Ah damn that must be nice. Also really cool drawings looks great.

Art related questions.. a ton haha.
But a bit more general:
I'm currently studying anatomy, perspective and doing some copy practice each day. Also working on proper line weight. Is there anything important I'm missing? I know I'll have to study composition eventually aswell, and maybe focus a bit more on gesture.
And what should I study with priority, generally speaking?

>>4904367
I can't wait to get my hands on Dreamlands, finally the dude finished it...

>>4905744
Do you have a piece of work you can link? It’ll give me a better grasp what to suggest.

>>4905771
Haven't really done any original content the past week, the most recent thing I've done would be. Been basically grinding anatomy and perspective the entire week.
>>4889844
I don't know if that helps you but even if its just a sketch it's the most recent original piece I've done I guess.

>>4905784
Ah, I remember this. Anatomy and prospective will absolutely help. How are you going about studying anatomy? And, is your end goal comic/manga or just manga style illustrations?

>>4905788
Currently using manga materials and drawing specific parts at many different angles. Did the full anatomy course by proko already so I got a rough overview.
And my end goal is to draw manga definitly. But I don't want to rush ahead and start drawing manga before I got a firm grasp of the fundamentals.

>>4905796
>drawing specific parts at many different angles
Specific body parts? If so, try to limit that and do full body as much as possible. There’s a slight trap where you might end in a loop of drawing headshots or busts only. You might not feel like you’re ready to draw a manga, but you might never feel ready. So make sure you don’t end up procrastinating that for too long. You can start writing scripts and drafting a few shorts for practice.
One thing I did was I started drawing character sheets(similar to the ones animation studios make) for my silly project. I took my time with them and polished them up beyond what I was capable at the time. There were a few designs I wasn’t confident I’d be able to draw in different angles. But, after like 40 characters, I just got better at a lot of things simultaneously. Also never went out of my way to study gestures in a traditional sense. Just drew my characters doing things for whatever scenes I was mulling over. Not sure if that helps.

>>4905848
Well it's not really specific parts but more like this for example I guess. Guess I worded that poorly.

And that does sound like a really fun idea actually. Designing characters is really enjoyable. And writing the plot out is also pretty doable without having to improve at drawing first. I guess you're right.. just "putting it off until I'm good enough" does seem like procrastination. I could start with more basic poses for starters, if I try to get too fancy I usually get frustrated that it doesnt look like it did in my head.
But anyway it did help so thank you. It's just that kind of lack of certainty if I'm doing everything correctly and when to start with what. I'll try to relax a bit more and focus on what I can work on for now.

wait how do i do the sound effects

>>4905871
>It's just that kind of lack of certainty if I'm doing everything correctly and when to start with what.
I honestly struggle with that too. It gets very lonely and you end up being your own boss, so you have to call the shots. Sometimes I just want an editor or something to tell me what to do. But, there’s no such thing, so just have to analyze what’s wrong and keep at it.

When doing the character sheets, try drawing them in a pose that reflects their personality. I still remember when I drew a character with his arms crossed. Had to look up a reference, then construct it. Messed with the fingers and the folding of clothes for hours. Than once it was good enough. I inked it, making sure it’s clean(no line weight at that time either). It almost felt like I wasted my time, but now I can draw that pose without reference.

This is how far I got into my chapter 1 before I realized I needed professional technique on my side to work efficiently and produce anything better than mediocre.

>>4905913
It's not all that bad anon; better than most really. I like the more deliberate texturing you have in your first page.

As a personal piece of advice, I'd maybe recommend doing away with the big "STAND" effect on your fifth page; YMMV, but I've always found non-sound onomatopoeia ("grab!" "kick!" "fall!") to be horrendously clumsy and uncreative. A lot of webtoons do it for some reason, and it always makes the work come off as an off-brand manga or the Thing pretending to be a comic book, if that makes sense. Just not something you really see professionally in either the east or the west.

>>4905924
Yeah, I've sworn off labelling actions and started focusing on making my poses more expressive and communicative in terms of motion since I drew these. I was unsure if it was the right move at the time time too but I wasn't sure the reader wouldn't think he blew the chair back with his mind or something.

pic related: inspo to git gud

>>4905913
Anon if that isn't like your 20th work then it's never going to be "anything better than mediocre". Professional technique comes from making stuff. No, you're probably not going to be happy with what you can produce right now. Everyone goes through that, and it's not going to get any easier if you stop drawing comics and try again "when you're better". The only way to improve at drawing comics is to draw comics. Study may HELP, but it will never be enough on its own.

>>4905230
just got to the latest chapter and thank, that was really good and i really love how all the monsters are drawn, it's amazing

Manben Neo 1st episode screenshot.
https://togetter.com/li/1600911
will anyone TL the video?

i cant find good pressure sensitivity setting

>>4904410
Bruh- thats motivating

>>4907164
take the artpill and disable pen pressure

>>4905673
Inked >>4907647 I have been reading one punch man while inking. I need to practice the movement hatching more.

Next page sketch

>>4905702
Lol i forgot to ink the borders again and drew outside the panels. Yeah her face was too small to draw the details. I’ll try a smaller pen next time.

Inking hair gives me nightmare.

>>4907428
b-but the line weight..

>>4907772
Personally, I don't think line-weight or inking matters that much at all. I guess, if you're going for a certain aesthetic, it matters, but be careful about wasting too much time and effort on unimportant things.

>>4907824
You say that. But then you post an image with color. Why about black and white pages and readability?

>>4905050
Anon, just keep the jokes in; the masses love a dark comedy.

>>4907831
I might be talking out of my ass here, but I was looking through my folders and saw that Toriyama uses very minimal line-weights. If there is line-weight, it's very minor. Only places I see him use it is in the shadow of the car and some of the fur in that cat. Even Bulma's sleeves and the hair texture doesn't have line-weight, it's all done with line-spacing.

Page readability would have more to do with composition and shape-design more than anything else, I think. If you're having trouble with pen-pressure, set the "minimum size" of the brush up higher and see if that helps. Sometimes these digital brushes have that awful look where the end of each stroke tapers off artificially.

Sorry for the dumb question, but where do I start when I want to get into character design?

>>4907752
Manga materials has a guide on inking hair maybe that helps you?

>>4907885
shape design

Would working on short H-Mangas be good practice for stuff in the future? I currently have a few ideas for stories but they aren't fleshed out, but I have fleshed out ideas of sex scenes (don't ask why)
Should I just draw those to get practice with panels and inking and storyboarding?

>>4907930
I don’t see it hurting. You’ll be able to see what you’re lacking faster that way imo.

>>4907772
not him and I wouldn't recommend turning off pressure sensitivity (you just gotta fiddle with it until you like it brother) but you don't need pen pressure to create line weight. all line weight is is some lines are thinner and some are thicker, you can achieve the same effect of thick and thin by draw over the same line but slightly offset to create a thicker line.

>>4907752
inking hair is usually done with a brush pen, if that helps. so use a very thick brush with a very low minimum size in the pressure sensitivity and just practice. of course you can do it your own way, but this is just how it's typically done for rendering black hair.

>>4907824
agreed. you don't NEED varied line weight. it does look nice, though.

>>4907883
yamcha's mouth, too.
and yes, I wouldn't recommend sticking with the minimum size set to the minimum either unless you're going for a brush look.

>>4907930
yeah. plenty of manga authors started as doujin authors for a reason.

>>4907930
I LOVE doing short stories. Just small mood sketches. It's like, writing one song versus writing a symphony.

>>4907883
>I might be talking out of my ass here
Yes. There is LOTS of line weight used in the pic you posted. Zoom in and take a look.

Asking here cause cant find a supplies general, any recommendations for sketching pencils in the uk? Ideally 4h for precise underdrawings to 8b for heavier gesture drafting

>>4907652
Made her shorter and added real text boxes

Anyone have any suggestions for fonts for a cover page? Or am i supposed to write it by hand? Any search terms that I should use at the free font site?

>>4908051
I've never understood why people need such specialized pencils for something they're going to ink over. I have always just used a mechanical pencil.

>>4907836
Thanks, I'll keep them in as long as I can manage not to undermine the overall tone.

>>4908051
Faber Caster is your goto brand, especially in Europe. Find an art shop that sells them, or just buy them online.

>>4907824
>I don't think line-weight or inking matters that much at all

I dont know where to post this but I guess it belongs here. I've been watching a lot of shounen anime recently and I had a very vivid dream that is basically a collision of all the shounen tropes I like.

I have never drawn any comic or manga before but after waking up I spent like 2 hours writing down all my thoughts like a dream journal. Does this ever happen to you guys? I only draw lewd pinups. Ive never drawn anything complicated like manga. But I have written out a bunch of notes for what could probably be workshopped into a few pages of manga. I just dont know what to do with this

>>4908160
> Does this ever happen to you guys?
Not really; I have all my ideas when I'm awake.

> I just dont know what to do with this
Refine it and make something, presumably.

>>4908160
>Does this ever happen to you guys?
Two separate dreams inspired my main series. But they’re not 100% retellings.

>I just dont know what to do with this
Anything you want really.

>>4908172
>Refine it and make something, presumably.
I'm worried it'll just look like dA fanart-level horrible because I dont have much development in my skills when it comes dynamic poses, angles, or things that translate into a good looking manga. I'm wondering if it's smarter to sit down throw together a shitty sketch mock up of what I want, post it here, and see if anyone steals my ideas. Or if I should just try to workshop and refine it as a small side project.

>>4908190
>I dont have much development in my skills when it comes dynamic poses, angles, or things that translate into a good looking manga.
You can work on all of that, while writing a script.
>shitty sketch mock up
It can help you decide if you want to keep working at it, yes.
>see if anyone steals my ideas
I doubt it.

>>4904704
It's Yusuke Murata

>>4908218
lmao, what an idiot.

working on this

>>4908272
actually a really good way to get a good color piece, stealing this idea

>>4908272
I like the composition on the thumbnail. Is there any particular reason why the sketch is so elongated?

manben episode 1 no sub yet
https://youtu.be/r6KWQ8reZ5g

>>4908367
Idk, I don't like the sketch either, and I wanna redo everything. I traced over Design Doll to get the pose, and it looks wayyyy too stiff. So I'm just gonna freehand it and use the DD poses for ref instead.

>>4908386
Ah, I meant the page doesn’t seven to fit a typical A4, B4 layout. Feels like it’s cropped for a phone background.
Do you usually need DD for poses? It seems like you do fine just without. Or just experimenting at this point?

Does anyone have a PDF of this?

>>4908471
It's on libgen

>>4908393
Just experimenting. I don’t normally use anything for poses desu.

Greyscale study

>>4908854
Also, because that page is an illustration and not exactly manga, have some pages. Name should be done... idk like Wed maybe? Then I can translating it and polishing it so it's more legible since all pages are like pic related. I just gotta get motivated to finish this fight scene. I know what happens narratively, I just need to sit down and do it all. Whole chapter should hopefully clock in at just over 60 pages. 20 whatever of which is a fight. which starts in pic related. Hopefully you can kinda make it out.

>>4908854
Oh yeah, the redone pencil sketch for this thing, since it's kinda neat.

>>4904446
Based and Kubopilled

>>4908879
whoa you are so good ;)

>>4908854
>>4908864
>>4908879
Looking great dude, the picture kind of reminds me of anor londo somehow.
Keep up the good work

>>4910051
Based and soulspilled

I'm having trouble figuring out how people will view the art during reading? They won't see it at like 100% zoom like you would see in CSP, right?

>>4910078
Depends on their monitor, I personally almost never zoom into comic art but I'm using a 30" TV

>>4904382
that dudes back leg makes himn look like he's about to fall, but its got a good line of action so keep it

>>4910107
I usually (if I download the manga) browse it where I can see most of the page, but a lot of the time those are scanned paper manga.
When it comes to digital stuff though, I'm not too sure, because at a certain view in CSP my rendering looks fine and the object in question looks like how I want, but when I zoom to 100% image view it looks meh

I feel like I'm being an idiot and not explaining myself well

>>4910125
Thanks anon; can you elaborate a little more on what you mean, just so I can be sure that I'm understanding correctly?

>>4908060
Inked and added a panel >>4910361

Making a cover next, but I accidentally drew the same pose.

No idea what to do with the title font

>>4908864
8 more pages.

>>4910051
Yep. That's cause Anor Londo is based off the Duomo Di cathedral in Milan:

https://www.google.com/search?q=milan+cathedral&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwi9p7js-pnsAhV4zYsBHb6jDZAQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=milan+cathedral&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzIECCMQJzICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIAFCFSliFSmCLTWgAcAB4AIABVIgBVJIBATGYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZ8ABAQ&sclient=img&ei=pDx5X73FAviar7wPvse2gAk&bih=578&biw=1280&rlz=1C1CHBD_enJP901JP901

Which I'm also using for reference. It's getting to play with the high gothic archietecture that I really like about how this is coming together.

>>4904367
Here's an idea, but anyone ever thought of doing an interactive manga? Like a CYOA style rolelpaying story similar to the Fighting Fantasy books. It seems like due to webpublishing and such, the idea is fairly ripe for exploring, since you have more tools with which to test readers, such as skill checks, keeping track of inventory, and incorporating puzzles and RNG into progression through the use of a webpage.

>>4911361
I’m sorry. I’m not understanding. Aren’t you just describing a game? Visual novels are a thing.

>>4911373
VNs and Games can’t be sold on print, and are significantly more expensive. Look at the Fantasy Fight books, all you need is a pencil, paper, dice, and you follow along. Similar idea, except it's in manga. In digital print, you’d be better able to dictate a player’s experience by more easily keeping track of these things for them, and making sure they don’t cheat or spoil themselves by controlling the “turn to page XXX” for them. So it would gamify the exp more, especially since you can get more complex with flags snd skill checks like a VN would. But I think the novelty of an “interactive manga” could be an interesting marketing pitch for those looking to do digital self-punlishing.
Also, when people think VN they think porn and shitty high school romance shit. I’m thinking more along the likes of fantasy or sword and sorcery or whatever.

Just an idea anyway. I just thought it was kinda neat, as I really haven’t seen anything like that, and CYOA books have always been fun.

>>4911505
Ah, I think I understand what you’re on about. I just don’t see it working. The amount of time it’d take to set a thing like that up, could be better spend just making a proper game. To branch out story-lines like that, you’d needlessly have to draw multiple scenes that may or may not be read. It’s not time efficient for the artist and it’s not going to be satisfying for the reader. If the artist wanted to print a thing like that, I doubt it’d sell. Even digitally, why pay for something like that, when you have games available?

>>4911361
I'm doing prep for one right now.
I don't expect it to be anything other than one or two silly /a/ threads though. I just want to practice pumping out as many pages in as short amount of time as I can.

>>4911505
>as I really haven’t seen anything like that
MS Paint Adventures was exactly that (though it wasn't trying to be "manga" at all).

>>4911706
The idea is you're basically writing it on-the-fly using reader submitted ideas. Speed is the name of the game. You may have plans but as you said there's no point trying to draw any of those plans out. Nor sticking to them too hard as that kind of defeats the purpose, no?

>>4910396
Inked the cover >>4912371 I’ll color it later

>>4911361
> anyone ever thought of doing an interactive manga?
Not sure if it counts, but I am going to try to get people to vote on where the comic goes every week. Then I draw the characters at the location for a few days, they complete a small arc, then travel somewhere else next week. I just posted the poll just now. We will see what happens... i basically don’t have a sketch right now to ink tomorrow... kind of nervous

>>4912382
> Speed is the name of the game
Ya, I’m most worried about how fast i can generate content. But since its inktober i have to make something everyday anyways. I wrote down a bunch of small jokes and stuff to scatter into the pages.

>>4910179
I drew a diagram. Although it does not look as bad as I thought, i feel like if you tried to stand like that for long it'd be uncomfortable

>>4912442
I see. Is the perspective warpage not sold enough? I haven't inked in the back wall yet, but you should be able to see it through the underdrawing.

Visiting /asg/ made me even more thankful that this general exists.

>>4905050
I really like this art style. Recently read through Dorohedoro and it manages a dark plot with lots of light hearted comedy imo. It works well. Keep the jokes.

any good books or resources for toning?

>>4910396
Next page, I might try a different inking technique today. Any feedback so far on the readability / flow?

>>4913822
Honestly, I do screentoning digitally with Clip Studio Paint. It's just easier.

>>4914284
yeah i use CSP for it, but i feel like the way i'm using them what i do looks like shit

>>4914261
Does she chew bubble gum first and than blow a bubble? Or is she already chewing on one and decides to take a second? Can’t tell how I’m supposed to read the panels.

>>4914261
the layout is confusing. I think you should just separate it out to two pages, idk. Couldn't really follow the story

>>4914261
It’s hard to follow.

>>4914261
Echoing the others, no idea what's happening. I feel like your prior pages are also difficult to read.

>>4914261
You need to start with very simple paneling until you get a better feel for the flow. Left to right, top to bottom, try 5-6 panels per page max.

>>4914261
I don't think the fetish porn thing you're going for works with the invader zim artstyle, it's not attractive

>>4916130
I think it's hot enough

>>4914261
I tried to put less activity on the page, so now everything will move at a snails pace... It’s like 6 pages in and they havent left the beach yet... fuck

>>4914511
It was supposed to read top 3, left 3, middle, right. She puts a new piece of gum in, chews it, recovers, then blows a bubble

>>4914573
>>4914984
>>4916105
>>4916128
I think i was making a collage of drawings, and not really making any sensible flow. It also feels weird to me to keep dividing every page into thirds. Doesn’t it get repetitive? Or should i keep the formatting consistent so it feels familiar? So that consecutive pages can flow, then a formatting change grabs your attention?

should i draw with AA on my gpen or not

>>4916717
Panels don't need to be "interesting". Their only purpose is to convey the information within them clearly.

>>4916717
> I think i was making a collage of drawings, and not really making any sensible flow. It also feels weird to me to keep dividing every page into thirds. Doesn’t it get repetitive? Or should i keep the formatting consistent so it feels familiar? So that consecutive pages can flow, then a formatting change grabs your attention?

Not every page can be crazy, because if they are then everything just reads on the same level and never stands out.

There are many different ways to divide pages, even if you stick solely to thirds. You can be both interesting and readable; the problem that people are having is that the page you posted is unreadable, and readability trumps everything for comics. A book could be filled with interesting pages and lovely descriptions, but if it's penned in Esperanto or printed so small you need a high-powered lens to read it, no one is going to care about the delivery.

>>4916717
I get where you're coming from. As an artist you're gonna have that inherent desire to prioritize visual aesthetic and composition over narrative, but always remember that the most important thing is clarity. Brilliant composition comes AFTER and only if the page allows. I made a series of posts (last?) thread delineating the 3 types of pages I commonly found in manga. Like the other anon said, not every page can be a compositional masterpiece, you need to find a balance between the pages that prioritize narrative flow, and the ones that let you get a little more crazy with the composition to show off your art.

As for layouts, dividing pages into thirds, quarters and in half are typically the most common layouts. There's no real hard-fast rule for how you can do that. But if you sometimes feel you're getting a little too stale, try maybe keeping the same panel count, but splitting it in halves. Also, make sure you sit down and choose a focal panel for your page composition. This usually makes it easier to decide which way might be the best to divide them in. Don't be afraid to look at other manga and how they do it for inspiration. Especially with the more mundane pages. I tend to find those are the more difficult ones to nail.

This page in particular btw, some feedback, I feel you MIGHT have too many actions in the center. It's hard to tell what's going on exactly, and knowing whether it's too many or not is a little dependant on style and intent. What exactly are you trying to convey here? Is there a more efficient way to do it? Do you really need the 4 poses in the center? Like, do they serve a specific intended purpose you're trying to get across? Less is usually more when you're going for manga, but ofc a lot of that is also subjective too. Something does feel a little off about this page though. Try drawing your pages in 2s btw. Full spreads left and right, as the two pages are meant to play off each other in terms of structure.

>>4912376
That's really cool imo. I'd like to do CYOA some day, I've always liked those sorts of books a lot as a kid. Like the goosebumps ones. I think a similarly structured manga volume can be quite cool to read. But I know it's a lot of work to do. It's something I'm putting on the backlog for now though. Writing a single linear story is hard enough already, a branching one feels like it might be exponentially harder. Though, the branches might actually allow you to have a less tightly focused narrative over all, which might make it easier maybe... who knows.

Someday I'll try it though. Good luck on your own one. I'd love to read it when you're done. I think for speed, my advice is to keep the art as simple as possible. Maybe even a little "sloppy" just to get things out there quickly.

Alright so drawing is one thing but I don't know what kind of story to write about, and if I do, I would not know how to make it a good story, what do?

>>4917966
Do something else. Comics are not for those who don't already know what they want to make. It takes far too much time and effort to become competent to not go in with specific ideas.

here are some pages from a few years ago. i think i can do probably do better now. i have a little experience in webcomics. i had one back in highschool over a decade ago and made 200 or so pages. very rough and never properly planned. just took it a day at a time and updated two pages weekly. i think now i want to try to just write and complete a one shot but im having trouble planning and organizing my thoughts. im not a good writer at all. i just want an excuse to draw cool fights and powers but i also want to make something satisfying to read

>>4918073

>>4918074

>>4918078
last one. this is like my 3rd or 4th take on the same concept since i was a teenager. it originally started as a homage/tribute to mega man since it was my favorite game series. i wanted to do like a retro-futureish setting. evil corporation, genetic modifications, fairly generic stuff sadly. i just wish i was better at planning and crafting an actual narrative

>>4918088
Your art is some of the better stuff I've seen in these threads, you definitely have a good start. Maybe try to pair up with a writerfag if you don't have any ideas of your own but still want to do comics.

>>4917971
I disagree. My best ideas started coming in well after I started making comics/manga. I’d even say it’s the opposite in fact, the people who get overly attached to their overcooked babies they created when they’re still very inexperienced don’t get very far. Ideas will come to you as you write more and more expose yourself to all sorts of other stories (particularly in other mediums), learn more things in general(especially philosophy) and gain more life experience.

>>4917966
Idea crafting and the mechanics of storytelling are two totally different things, that also kinda go hand in hand. Life experience, learning tons of different, and finding inspiration in other forms of storytelling or in history, are all great ways to gain ideas. However, as you improve at the mechanical craft of storytelling, you’ll also get better at being able to filter out the bad ideas, as well as conjure up actually really good story ideas based on your understanding of what makes a good story.

My advice, learn the mechanics of storytelling. There’s several books in the OP, and look for inspiration anywhere you can find it. Obviously your core medium is a great place to start, but dig a little deeper. Find put what stories influenced your favorite ones, and consume those. Then find out what inspired those, and consume those too. Eventually you’ll be reading history, philosophy, and literature. Always have a curious mind. The more curious you are about the world, the more interested you’ll be in things, and the more you’ll wanna tell other people about those things, which then leads you to having tons of ideas for interesting stories.

i cant design characters worth shit and i hate being a western artist

>>4918920
>i hate being a western artist
Why?

>>4918965
because i personally don't find it visually appealing

>>4904367
>>4904367
is it better to learn how to draw first and then make a comic or can you learn and draw at the same time?

>>4919099
Than don’t draw like that?

>>4918392
>I disagree. My best ideas started coming in well after I started making comics/manga. I’d even say it’s the opposite in fact, the people who get overly attached to their overcooked babies they created when they’re still very inexperienced don’t get very far. Ideas will come to you as you write more and more expose yourself to all sorts of other stories (particularly in other mediums), learn more things in general(especially philosophy) and gain more life experience.
I agree but at the same time if you're going in with nothing to say I'd say chances are you're probably not going to end up with something to say by the time you end up good enough to make something. I don't mind to be wrong about that but I'd say the likelihood is low.

>>4919131
Learn to draw at the same time. Drawing/writing comics are a separate skill from illustration. It's more important for the paneling/artwork to be CLEAR than pretty in a comic. If you don't practice drawing comics you're going to wind up frustrated when knowing how to draw doesn't seem to help at all with drawing your comic.

>>4916717
Inked page was here >>4917440 with some fancy radial screen tones

Here is Page 7, need to ink it quickly

>>4917583
>>4917785
>focus and simplify
I think i just gotta read more comics... i still find it strange that the page is consumed so fast, but I spent so much time on it. Maybe i need to draw faster?

>>4917915
> make sure you sit down and choose a focal panel for your page composition
Nice tip

> Do you really need the 4 poses in the center?
I feel like i get lost with 3 poses. But that is probably more of a lack of skill to convey an action in less poses.

> Less is usually more
I get that

> Full spreads left and right, as the two pages are meant to play off each other in terms of structure.
Actually, I was wondering, if the comic is always read by scrolling down 1 page at a time, is the way that it is consumed different since I can’t get the side by side comparison? I never had any intention on printing this...

>>4918285
thanks. though it is sad that, like you say, im just at the start. mainly because now im 30 and feel like i wasted my 20s not being serious about drawing comics. but no sense being full of regretti. now is as good a time as any to buckle down and get a fully completed comic done. at the least i have a few hundred pages under my belt as experience and that process has helped me develop a sense for motion and panel layout. i try to be mindful of eye movement and readability. but yeah, i need a solid story to get behind.

>>4918392
I am definitely one of those who got overly attached to my overcooked baby. and yeah, i haven't gotten far at all. in the time since i have made comics though i have exposed myself to other mediums and picked up new hobbies to give myself a fresh perspective. this is all really good advice you're giving. if you make a comic while only knowing comics your end product will end up feeling really hollow(i know this first hand). i have also been studying the basic structure of storytelling and Hirohiko Araki's book is very insightful as well. i just need to make a plan and get to the core of what kind of story i want to tell.

i think my main goal is that i want to make something inspirational, the same way shonen manga inspires me to work hard and improve. i know it's cheesy but i love shonen manga because it actually motivates and moves me. especially sports manga because seeing the characters get involved and passionate about something is so beautiful to me. like, being able to devote yourself so wholeheartedly to a trade or hobby.

what is your process for organizing your thoughts for writing? as far as storytelling goes i am still extremely basic as well. i know about the 3 act structure, set up and payoff, a plot b plot, stuff like ticking clock elements and stakes. i do feel like im really shooting in the dark though, as far as my studies go. anyways, here's a more recent pic of my mc

>>4904367
So I just got my first set of dip pens, its the deleter set with G-pen, maru, and saji nibs, I'm enjoying them so far even though g pen is hard to control for right now. What kind of paper should I be using for my manuscripts? Right now I'm using a smooth 80lb canson paper for practice but the lines get fuzzy even though I'm not loading it down with ink so I think the paper just isn't smooth enough. It also bleeds through like a motherfucker, again it doesn't take much ink or pressure to make it do this so I think my paper is just shit.

Also does anyone have ink recommendations? I'm using kuretake but it's alcohol proof only, and takes over 24 hours to dry completely for some reason.

>>4904367
Anyone know how Tawawa got so popular despite being a web manga kind of thing? I wonder who else has web manga like that if it actually works.

>>4919948
I’m not sure if this applies or not, but i found that the super smooth copy paper tends to shred with the gnibs and rapidograph tips. It’s basically scraping a metal pin on the paper which then tears the smooth surface and bleeds.

I’ve notice this with a rapidograph on 80lb smooth cardstock, but the same pen works fine on Bristol board. Likewise, the micron works well on smooth copy but the micron tip is shred on the bristol (the bristol is like sandpaper) - not sure if this is what is happening with the gnib, but maybe try out some different papers as well

Also the rapidograph and gnib can unload a TON of ink, it just wicks it out of the pen

>>4919956
Tower of God was one of those on webtoons and it ended up getting an anime deal. So it does happen. However webtoons (and the readers) definitely heavily favors korean style comics so its hard for anyone doing any other style to make it big.

>>4919968
Yeah ill have to try different papers. The canson paper I have is supposed to be good for holding ink and not bleeding but it really does feel like cheap copy paper so its very likely that its getting shredded up. Maybe its meant more for ballpoint pens and brush pens than nibs.

>>4919726
Inked it and added gray tones >>4920056 Which i kind of feel like is cheating, because i might as well have colored it, but i guess no rules just tools

Next page, i realized that gum and cum are only off by 1 letter. So i wrote a bunch of immature gum dialog. How do you write words that read like they have a lisp or that their mouth is full?

>>4920088
Stuff a wad of paper in your mouth and try to talk. Write it out phonetically.

>>4920088
I think I see part of the reason why you're worried about things getting boring layour-wise and things taking so long on a page-to-page basis. You're cramming a lot of stuff on your pages, and a lot of it is unnecessary action.

With the page you linked for instance, there's a gratuitous amount of comic time and page space spent on chewing; we don't need that. The audience could immediately infer what's going on if you went right from her popping the stick in her mouth to her blowing a bubble. Comics and manga are all about putting down what you *need,* not about putting down *everything.* On one of your earlier pages, where your main girl trips, you dedicated multiple panels to her foot slipping out of her shoe when you could have more elegantly done so with a single large panel of her in mid-trip / fall. You're wasting space and time on stuff that adds basically nothing.

anyone got more of these kind of pages collected?
mainly looking for stuff on nemu and planning.

>>4920903
2/3

>>4920905
3/3

>>4920088
since you're just doing super simple stories with a bit of a wacky storyline, I'd recommend at least looking up "Kishotenketsu". It's just a 4-step story structure that can be expanded organically and used for both short-comics and long series.

Ki- Intro
Sho- Development
Ten- Twist
Ketsu- Conclusion.

An example would be like:
1. A girl is walking to class at uni
2. She's super into her music and dancing to the beat.
3. She notices some people laughing at how silly she looks.
4. She doesn't care and shuts her eyes, continuing to dance/walk.

It's a super simple technique to learn, and you could apply it to the world you're building so that it might be entertaining to both you and other people.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPxjTVpY55w

This is a 4-part youtube series from SMAC that explains it in depth, and Hirohiko Araki's book also goes over this. Robert McKee's scene-design theory also matches this exactly, without using the same terms.

>>4919948
I can’t relate to people who say the G-pen is hard to use. What’s difficult about it?

>>4916717
There's a lot of really good rhythm in your figures. And the abstraction is great.

You're still picking up some good rhythms on the symmetrical views that are really difficult. The only advice I can think of there is to avoid those straight on, symmetrical poses.

e.g. in the middle row of the page, the first and last panels are great as far as the poses go, with the fourth being much stronger than the first. I get what you seem to be going for but I would go back and redesign the two middle panels. Also I would flip the fourth panel so the line of action is still going in the same direction. If you look at the fourth panel your character has flipped directions and it isn't immediately apparent that that is a problem because it is parallel with the other panels individual lines of action, but it disrupts the flow of the page a bit.

>>4916717
Here, I did a redline for what I was talking about. It looks like you were trying to go for a sort of rotation of the character in the panels but it is so subtle that you might not even have meant to do it.

But that last pose has some great stuff in it.

>>4904367
Is there any resources for helping me how to decide comic panel layout? This is like, my only hurdle. I'd love to understand why people choose certain sized panels for many situations.

Whenever I begin to think about what I would like to do, I think about panel placements and then I just give up. I really want to learn.

>>4922127
I picked up a lot of that by observation and copying the work of pros till it became intuitive. Though, there are some pretty good videos by the SMAC guys on YT that go into more detail for it all.

>>4922127
https://raon-terastorys.com/komawari_3/
This might help. Just have your browser auto translate it.

You guys think you could give me some story feedback?

I wrote a Beat-by-beat Outline of the whole thing so it’s not a bore to read. Also cause I gotta write (rewrite) some scenes in the screenplay) I’ll be doing that this weekend).
This is like the 4th(?) draft now. I’m generally happier with it now than older versions. It’s more focused and character motivated. But I am wary of both tunnel vision and being excessively doubtful/critical. So I’ve reached the point where I need extra eyes to look at it.

Logline:
The story is about Alice, a young witch apprentice who is going on her first hunt alone in order to prove she’s ready to become a full-fledged witch.

It’s more shounen in tone, though with strong dark fantasy/grim vibes.

The doc is only 2 pages, so please give it a read and tell me what you think. If you’d rather read the screenplay. Then please wait till Sunday. If you’d rather read the manga manuscript... probably Sunday too. During this last edit I pulled like 50% of what I had done apart.


Have this picture of a cute spider for your efforts. Thanks in advance.

>>4922349
I’m an idiot and totally forgot the link:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tbDrWH3HiUaebeAYaladnV1O8f7ZFvUk3r20pxT97lY/edit


Here, have this other spider picture (I’ve become obsessed with these recently).

>>4922354
Gave it a quick read. I find Bernhardt interesting in the description. Since all his reactions are very human. Alice not so much. And I wish there was more depicted than just her admiration for Oz, or wanting to be recognized as a witch. I know he saved her, but her personal motivations seem unclear. Especially since you have a scene where she struggles with doubt. That’s about all for now, I’ll wait for the script next.

>>4920088
Inked it here >>4922295 did some gray scale gradient thing. I guess it’s more like coloring...

>>4920096
i dodged it and changed the dialog

>>4920526
Great tip man. It’s an interesting philosophy to put down only what is needed and nothing in excess. I’ll keep it in mind. Sometimes i have a cool pose that I want to show off, but maybe that can be like a showcase drawing on the page.

Anyways, i adjusted the final panels in the inked version, based on the feedback

>>4921007
Oh yea i read that in the manga theory book. I should have written out the arcs before starting. I was doing it on the fly and it’s all sloppy now. Maybe I’ll make some smaller arcs. The twist is really hard to incorporate.

>>4922094
>>4922075
Man, your clairvoyance is unbelievable. I drew the 1st, and 4th panels initially, then realized the 4th is rotated. So i tried to make the intermediate 2nd and 3rd panel complete the rotation.

I was going to flip the 4th panel, but her shoe would be on the wrong foot, and I was too lazy to redraw it. I added an orthogonal screentone for the last panel to group it, but its probably too jarring. Lesson learned, don’t be lazy...

>>4922379
>personal motivations seem unclear
Duly noted for when I go over the script. You got me to think about what fuels her motivations more deeply. One of the bits I cut out from the original edit, was a lengthy scene in the observatory where Oz send her to do the hunt alone as a test. Unfortunately, not only did it drag, but it also over-explained too much, so it was cut. What it did do however, alongside the original 3 page prologue, was establish Alice's relationship with Oz better, as well as give a glimpse at her past. Essentially, her parents were killed by raiders and she was adopted by him when she was still a young child. He took her in, and made her his apprentice. So on her end, the desire to prove herself, is just as much for herself as it is for Oz or Bernhardt. She wants to become a full-fledged witch in order to prove she's capable of handling herself and doesn't need to be babied around or protected by others anymore. She also greatly admires Oz (despite the way she acts toward him), because he's essentially her father figure. So there's a lot of that "living under his shadow" and "wanting to live up to him" sorta vibe going on as well. She's 15 after all. It's at that age where you're a rebellious teen who wants to prove to the world you're ready to handle things alone. Which is why she goes out on the hunt on her own terms. She ofc has lapses of doubt, and does have insecurity regarding her capacity, because that's part of being a teen. You act on impulse and don't really think things through. When you're in the thick of it, you start to doubt if you can really handle it or not. That's kind of the idea behind it. I'll be sure to make that more clear as I'm going throught it. Specific lines of dialogue from Alice, regarding the fact she doesn't wish to be treat like a child anymore, as well as tons of potential to better visually show her relationship with Oz, or even a glimpse of her past when we delve into her mind with the scry scene
Thanks!

>>4922594
>>4920088
This is some really weird "delitization bologna tongue" style shit and I'm gonna recommend you get therapy before making more comics

>>4922796
Fuck off. Weird people make the best comics.

im going to story board my first h-manga/doujin
wish me luck all this practice has lead to this

>>4923122
same, except i can't get my lazy ass to work on it already.

>>4923176
i've been setting myself up to make drawing a habit to avoid the laziness, been drawing for 6+ hours for a few months now, practicing inking, toning, all the good stuff , my work ethic has gotten a lot better so im hoping this goes well

>>4922796

As opposed to more boring capeshit or yet another manga in a high school setting or a martial arts dojo?

>>4922796
what does this even fucking mean

>>4923310

>>4922594
>Lesson learned, don’t be lazy...
Other than those points you have some great stuff going on. The composition of the page isn't bad and the panels read pretty well sequentially i.e. you know which panel is supposed to happen next. And your figure drawing has great rhythm and force.

Keep working and learning because I see a lot of potential in your pages. I also have to recommend checking out Michael Mattesi's Force Drawing for Animation. You can probably find a pdf in the book thread but you should also watch his videos on YouTube. And then start going back and applying that analysis of the figure to other sources e.g. Bridgman.

>>4923360
>Literally a machine, literally like a machine and enjoying it.
I like this line

Uugh, making comics is so hard. I'm gonna switch to make a visual novel istead

>>4923725
VNs would be really good to make if they weren't such a tiny niche market. It's one of those "one person could feasibly make one of these" mediums like comics, but it's hard to be as accessible as just a bunch of image files comcis are.

where could i find a potential writer to collaborate with? any ideas? >>4918073 here

>>4924865
Finding a writer isn’t that difficult. Finding one whose writing you like is. Off the top of my head you can go to Tapastic and probably find writers advertising on reddit. In my opinion it’s better to write your own stories. You might never find a partner that matches your enthusiasm or work ethic. Or even your tastes. Good luck either way.

>>4924881
overall i would rather write my own stories but even if i study and understand the fundamentals of storytelling i still can't make anything i feel is unique or cool enough to stand on it's own. possibly if i had an editor or something that might work but i don't know anyone with the same knowledge to collaborate with(not just about the making of comics but also the tropes and trends of past and present manga).

>>4921857
Its hard to control and get exactly the right kind of line at first. You have to be careful about your speed and pressure. Maybe it depends on the brand of nib as well, I’ve heard some are harder to use than others. There are some manga artists that can never get it right and just use 3 different nibs to get the same results as gpen without the hassle.

Have you used a g-pen nib before? Did it really take you no time at all to get good with it?

>>4923816
Not to mention most VNs go up for free or about $5, the very top end is $20 and they don't get many sales at any price point. It's not really worth it honestly. You put in so much work and end up making below minimum wage from your sales. Its garbage.

>>4925070
>i still can't make anything i feel is unique or cool enough to stand on it's own
That used to always keep me from writing anything as well. Once my focus shifted to “Well what do I want to read?”, I was able to move forward. And rather than the story being unique or cool. I think in terms of interesting or entertaining.

And yeah. I wish I had an editor as well. The next best thing is to read a bunch of different manga on your own. It’s not ideal, but should give you more mileage.

what if i go to jail

Finally started my Tsugumomo doujin, I drew these pages left-to-right but I'm not sure if I should do it the other way around.

>>4926019
you should vary the sizes of the characters imo. and by a lot.
because look, all the head you've drawn are kinda similar in size.

but that's just what i think, it's not necessarily objectively wrong.

>>4925085
Not like you're going to make any money with comics either. At least you can put VNs on steam where's some potential buyers base, there's nothing like that for comics.

>>4926105
that's true, was trying to avoid the "talking heads" with the camera angles
Thanks anon

I'm a spoiled buyfag with way more supplies than I care to admit I own and I want to get back down to basics. I went on a manga tools kick last year and now I need to use my shit up.

Help me come up with a decent-sized toolkit for finally making that comic I've had in my head. Everything else will be stored away for later, as even looking at all the shit I have gives me choice paralysis.

If I exist for manga-making I probably own it. Yes, that includes stacks of screentones and a shoebox full of ink and nibs. My favorite is maru.

>>4926786
>millipens of sizes you are comfortable with
>a ruler
>some paper
That's it. That's all you need. Now get drawing instead of fiddling with toys.

>>4926791
Can I swap out the millipens for a nib holder? I only really use millipens for sketchbooks. I don't like how they fade when you erase over them, and my lightbox is kind of a chore to use.

>>4926793
Sounds like you already had an answer to your own question. Are you going to draw something or what?

>>4926786
>Help me come up with a decent-sized toolkit
It’s hard to do that when we don’t know anything about what you have, what you’re thinking of doing and what you’re capable of doing.

>>4926796
I draw all the time. I just wanna hunker down and do that comic I've been meaning to.

>>4926798
Like I said, if you can name it I probably have it. And my project is only 5 pages on B4 manuscript paper, so it's not a huge undertaking. I already have it storyboarded and thumbed out. I just need to do it.

>>4926802
I mean. You sound like you’re ready to go?

>>4904446
>he doesn't pirate books off the internet
ngmi

>>4926017
Don't. don't go to jail

>>4926146
Even though comics income isn't great, if you get signed on with a publisher or get a massive following on patreon and self publish, you can make a hell of a lot more than the vnfags. Yes there's less of a comics market here in the US than Japan, but the vn market disparity is even larger. VNs really are not worth it.

>Come up with story idea for comic
>Gonna start drawing tomorrow
>get 10 pages in
>Think of "better" story and setting with same characters
>Lose interest in the previous version and want to restart with the new version

This keeps happening.

>>4928038
just stop being a faggot and set a deadline

Are there any equivalent to doujin circles in the west/outside japan?

>>4904367
It's not manga if you're not Japanese

>>4926019
>Tsugumomo doujin
You're a brave man.

I have a theory that artists don't attempt to make a fanart of certain series because they are aware it'd pale in comparison with the original.
Or maybe those series are really just that unpopular, I'm not sure.

>>4927165
ill try

>>4928588
yeah just make your own
i have one and its just me

>>4928588
Zines / Fanzines are the closest.

They're small, often digital artbooks / comic anthologies that are generally centered around a specific subject, concept, or IP, and are often crowdfunded or purchased for a few dollars.

Actual indie comic anthologies also pop up from time to time, particularly from publishers. They also generally stick to a theme and give people a few months to make work for it, or submit existing work that fits.

>>4928596
Correct. However, that doesn't mean we can't use them as a study tool.
Besides, there's no appropriate word that specifically describes a comic that's drawn in monochrome with the broad style of paneling common to comics from japan and that are generally (but not always) telling a self-contained story like a movie or short TV series might. If we just say "manga" then you understand what we're trying to learn from/replicate without further explanation.

>>4928596
Wrong.

>>4928596
>>4928762
Why even feed this notion? It's stupid. "You must be <X> for your art to be <Y>" is a silly way of looking at any cultural product. By this logic, only French people can make éclairs, only black people can play jazz, and only Ub Iwerks can draw Mickey Mouse.

>>4928759
> Correct

Lol.

>>4928821
The heart of the argument is that "manga" is literally just the word for "comic", and that they refer to all comics, regardless of origin, as "manga". Meaning its usage is the same as our usage of "comic", so they're perfectly equivalent words when translating them. So therefore, when we non-japanese use the word "manga" like a loanword to refer to a comic, it's specifying that it's a comic made by/for a japanese audience.
Therefore unless our work is IN japanese and published IN japan, it's not really "manga" because it's appealing to an inherently different audience.
Not that I entirely agree with the notion, but I tried to explain it as impartially as I could. Personally I think it's not unreasonable to say that if a westerner is making a comic aimed at a japanese audience then it should be referred to as manga, particularly if it's very much aiming for that japanese b&w print style. If you want to split hairs I would say that unless you're aiming for the jp audience then it's simply manga-style rather than """true""" manga.

>>4928843
In the last episode of manben Naoki Urasawa literally called Moebius a mangaka, despite ever making "manga" in his life.

Where does that put comic creators then?

>>4928850
As I explained in the first few sentences of my post that you seem to have ignored, "manga" and its japanese usage just means comic (and "mangaka" comic creator). It's not like Urusawa is acknowledging him as an honorary nihonjin craftsman of the superior manga, he's just doing the equivalent of an englishman referring to Junji Ito as a "comic creator".

>>4928843
The argument is stupid, as what you’ve brought up is the defense I’ve used whenever this absurd notion is brought up.

The distinction between manga and comics is purely Western, and it’s a stylistic one, not a racial one. Trying to tie it to race is just loser weeaboos being pretentious and should not be encouraged. End of story.

The race of the creator has now bearing whatsoever on what the end product is or should be called. Especially when it comes to art. It’s astonishing that we even have to entertain this thought considering how utterly retarded it is.

>>4928843
I was going to say that "manga" implies a particular style or look, bu then I remembered how many of the submissions to the Tezuka contest just look like American indie comics and take no inspiration from Japanese comics at all

When I hear "manga", I automatically think of screen-toned black and white comics on cheap paper. The only American comics I know that have ever done this were either indie underground comix or the old Conan magazines

I don't think b&w Italian comics use screen tones, though I could be mistaken

>>4928864
I’ll use your own logic against you then. Why should westerners, who don’t create manga nor speak Japanese, define the limits of the word manga?

>>4928843
> So therefore, when we non-japanese use the word "manga" like a loanword to refer to a comic, it's specifying that it's a comic made by/for a japanese audience

Seems more like an assumption than anything, since I don't do that. I think it's more likely when someone refers to something as a Manga they're just saying that it fits the style and tropes of a specific subset of comic-making. Even if I accepted this as legitimate, it would have zero to do with the post made earlier, since it implies that a non-Japanese person can't make something "for" a Japanese audience, which is, again, silly.

It also doesn't actually address the comparison given anyway, so I guess the rest of us are fucked and can only bake Éclair-style pastry and play Jazz-style music, since French Pastry is pastry made by French people for French people, and Jazz was originally made by black people for black people. It's all just artistically limiting and dumb and 100% unnecessary. No one should gatekeep art, especially since modern Manga and Anime came about from Japan aping American cartoons and putting their own spin on it.

I get that this isn't your actual thoughts and you're just being impartial, I'm just saying that this type of artistic classification is stupid.

>>4928881
> I was going to say that "manga" implies a particular style or look, bu then I remembered how many of the submissions to the Tezuka contest just look like American indie comics and take no inspiration from Japanese comics at all

A lot of people were posting comics for clout or just worked in a hybrid style naturally, so I don't know if the Tezuka contest was really a good barometer for this at all.

God damn it lads, we took the bait.

>>4928880
Mate I think the whole argument surrounding this is stupid too. But at the same time, I find your counterarguments to be completely lacking in, well, argument. Your whole ground of "but Urasawa said manga so that means [whatever the hell it is you're trying to say, I can't even really tell what your point is]" is addressed in my point that the native usage of the word is the same as our native usage of "comic". So him calling Moebius manga is not the same as you or I referring to Moebius as manga. What matters is the language is being spoken. Manga, as used as a loanword, is referring the country of origin as well as the medium. Just like how bande dessinée is specifically referring to Franco-Belgian comics, manga is referring to Japanese comics. "comic" or when speaking japanese "manga" are just catch-all terms for the medium as a whole.

>>4928890
It's just a loanword like any other, anon. Tsunami, karaoke, kamikaze, rendezvous etc are other examples of loanwords. The japs use english loanwords to refer to things different from the literal meaning of the word in english too, for example "miruku tea" is not the same as english "milk tea".

All of this is just how language works. The only part that's my opinion is that westerners CAN make manga.

>>4928895
>Seems more like an assumption than anything, since I don't do that. I think it's more likely when someone refers to something as a Manga they're just saying that it fits the style and tropes of a specific subset of comic-making
It's the same thing just phrased differently. When I say it's a comic made by/for a jp audience, that means that it fits the style and tropes of a specific sub-set of comic-making. One that is used by/to appeal to a jp audience.

>>4928909
> One that is used by/to appeal to a jp audience.

Tropes don't inherently exist for the sake of a specific cultural appeal, so no, I reject this as an equivocation. If I put two works next to each other with similar content, and I scrub the names off of them so we don't know who made what, then we can make the reasonable assumption that those two things are like enough to belong together regardless of whether or not the tropes within them are "used" to "appeal" to a JP audience. The only way for these things to exist equivalently is for only the first portion of your post to be used.

And even then, if all this is the case, it *still* doesn't actually properly enforce a cultural boundary, because it doesn't argue that the usage of JP-appealing tropes by other cultures delegitimizes the usage of those tropes or makes their usage "non-Japanese." A white musician using "Jazz-style tropes" in their music doesn't make their music not-Jazz because they're not part of the original group to whom Jazz was directed.

>>4928929
Congratulations, you now understand my frustration at the usage of the term "manga" and how people use it. Glad we're finally on the same page.

>>4928933
I don't. I have no idea what you're on about and still disagree with your belief as to how people use the term.

>>4928937
Okay anon I'm going to put it as simply as possible.
When we are speaking ENGLISH and refer to something as "MANGA" that inherently sets the expectation that it will be in a vague style.
When are speaking ENGLISH and refer to something as a "COMIC" then there is no additional meaning, it is simply an umbrella term for the medium.

Now, equivalently:
When we are speaking JAPANESE and refer to something as a "COMIC" then they're referring to a WESTERN COMIC (NOTE: I DON'T KNOW IF THEY ACTUALLY DO THIS, IT'S JUST AN EXAMPLE)
When we are speaking JAPANESE and refer to something as "MANGA" then there is no additional meaning, it is simply an umbrella term for the medium.

The part that bothers me is literally everything else about the topic. The fact that I can be saying the SAME GODDAMN THING AS YOU and you can still disagree with me, for example.

>>4928954
> that inherently sets the expectation that it will be in a vague style.

Earlier on you set up this totally bogus expectation about cultural guidelines that have to specifically cater to that culture, so if this post is what you were *actually* trying to say then you really need to work on your delivery.

But if you believe that "manga" just refers to a specific comic subset with specific tropes and stylization, then yes, we agree.

>>4928959
You're confusing my opinion with what I view as how the terms is generally used.
The difference between the two is that my opinion agrees with you, but from my experience the word is generally used (by other people, to clarify -- such as >>4928596) to refer to comics that come from japan. Exclusively. Meaning that a westerner cannot make "manga", only "manga-inspired comics".
Again, not to confuse you, I agree that manga is just a style. I'm saying that in general, from what I've seen, the word is not used that way in english.

>>4928954
You don’t have to be Japanese to make manga. End of story.

What style are you going for?

>>4929015
Junji ito.

>>4929015
Tsutomu Nihei.

Does anyone know a good source or book that tackle difficult perspective grid like this? worm views and bird views are so hard to accurately nail.

>>4929104
The trick to worm views and bird views is not accurately nailing them at all, but getting them roughly accurate enough to achieve the effect. Unless you're drawing a cityscape or some other subject that is perfectly straight and cubic, then there's plenty of room for error. Drawing people in extreme perspective is really more about drawing what feels right instead of what's perfectly correct.
The that end, I would say just collect examples of such perspectives that feel right to you and trying to pin down how and why they look good.

>>4929120
I'm studying film storyboard right now, and I realize how many angles there are you have be familiar with to make your composition stronger, But man it's a lot of work, I wish I can just magically use put in a camera in front og my character and boom done.
Yeah I know that you dont have to be 100% accurate, but I want to atleast be atheistically good at it for artistic sake.

>>4929193
aesthetically*

>>4929015
Kentaro Miura is my final goal. I may never get there but it pushes me to improve. I need to do some page studies to get closer though.

>>4929015
My own.

>>4929329
>>4929076
>>4929087
Post what you got, I wanna see if I can spot the influence

>>4929104

>>4929120 is correct. Perspective is all about training the eye; drawing it eventually becomes the easiest part once you can see properly.

The way that I handle it is just ensure that all of my lines are going in roughly the right direction, and apply degrees of variance that bend *away* from the midpoint in the up-down and left-right direction. The closer toward the edge of the paper / view the lines are, the steeper their slant away from the middle. This governs recedes of all sorts, and can also be used for bending / warping perspective by simply making the lines into "arcs" and steadily increasing the degrees to which they "bend" the further away you are from the center.

I hope that makes sense. If it didn't, I can try and explain it more thoroughly. I've been building up the attached pic just eyeballing using that method. It's not perfect, and there are a few inaccuracies in places, but I know about them and will correct them eventually, unless I get lazy, since this will pass the eye test for most people as-is. It's worth noting that most non-artists will not notice perspective inaccuracies or embellishments because they have not been trained to do so.

>>4929389
im the miurafag. betcha cant guess my other influence /s

>>4929463
Stupid redditor.

>>4929468
it was a /v/ drawthread request

Out of curiosity. How detailed are your character sheets, bros?

>>4929463
based taste

>>4929575
I've never made a character sheet. Most I've done are sketches like this, but I rarely do this.

>>4929575
Several pages with turn arounds, expressions, poses, and costume details for main characters.

Simple design, maybe a turnaround for less important characters.

Make sure you draw the character’s back btw. You’re gonna need that ref more often than you think.

>>4929389
Aight here you go. Not hard to figure out the main influence here lol.

I wanted to place the sound effect differently in this but clip studio paint kinda sucks for what I wanted to do :(

>>4929575
Usually some general character design and an overall face drawing (shape, cloth and all that stuff) and give it a go.

I wish it was more detailed and had more angles (because i need some details after anyways) but i'm not a big fan of sketching the same character over and over again.

do you guys write out your layout and dialogue in a text document before starting your rough draft or some other method?

>>4930337
I do a plot outline for the chapter and then any super important dialogue goes in there. Aside from that I just write in whatever with my draft.

>>4930215
You don't draw the sound effects yourself?

>>4930337
I just write a short description of what happens in a scene and make most of it up on the page as I draw

>>4929575
I don't do character sheets, just random sketches here and there until I like the way it looks, like >>4929578

>>4930384
My handwriting sucks ass. People always complain about it, its ugly and hard to read. Maybe I should practice more so I can put them down exactly how I want them.

>finish storyboard of first page
>rethink my entire life

what the fuck is going on with my brain

>>4930477
Anon, I said drawing, not writing. Think of the sound effects as a picture, not a word.

Was taking a small break from inking and decided to browse the rest of the board, and I just gotta thank you all for not being as insufferable as the rest of this place, reminds me why I don't browse anything outside this general. You are all very helpful and smart.

>>4930574
Agree with this. Even /asg/ is notably less serious.

Thanks for caring about the craft in this thread, everyone.

>>4930519
Ohhh. I gotcha. I'll try that!

How much would you guys charge per comic colored page if it has about 5 panels with little to no background?

>>4930936
Post your work and I'll tell you how much I would pay

How much size comic should be ?

>>4930992
Your question is unclear. Are you asking about the dimensions of a page? How long a comic should be? What digital resolution you should work at?

>>4930337
Yes, first i write in a bullet format the dialog and then i copy and paste all of that in clip studio's story editor and format how much the characters will say, etc. Overall this has helped a me to have a more clear vision of what i want to be in each page and how the pages progress.

>>4930960
I’m not looking to gauge myself, I’m a complete beginner who already charges a certain amount with a client, I’m just curious how what others here charge to get a different perspective

>>4931048
Ah, well for reference a professional penciler at Marvel or DC gets about 1-200$ per page. Inked and colored would get more. Painted would get even more. Depending on quality, of course.

>>4931055
Ah only for a sketch huh. Yeah I know my skill is very low so I basically charge low as well. I do 75 per page, it gets sketched, inked and colored digitally, client likes it and it’s good practice for me anyway I suppose

>>4931071
Post a page, I want to see what you're getting that price for

>>4931075
I can’t post a page since it’s all been private commission work and it’d be dishonorable to share, but I can post a colored image, a line art and sketch of my work if you really wanna see, like I said I’m a beginner

>>4929575
Front, side, back, any major details for outfit, how their expressions look for the "main" six emotions. I do need to get in the habit of doing more conceptual exploration before trying to nail down a design though.

>>4930337
I do the outline as just dialogue so more like a screenplay than anything else. I've found that it's easier to set up pages like that because I'll know if I need extra shots to set things up so that the speech makes sense.

>>4930936
In the past, when I did commissions. I did roughly 100$ a page, black and white. Doesn’t include character designs and promotional art (those are separate).

>>4930337
I bullet out the outline, then write a loose screenplay and get to drawing pages. I need the screenplay to quickly do edits to story as I’m going through, because when I’m thinking in pages, I let the page dictate whether I need more dialogue or whatever.

>>4931035
>story editor
First I’ve heard of this. That sounds useful. Run me by that if you could please.

>>4931146
Dang. I can’t wait to get to the level where I can charge more. I honestly hate coloring pages, I feel like I could do much better monochrome because I can focus more on values. Is your income still through art or not anymore?

>>4931095
Post what you got

>>4931150
it's very useful and rarely ever talked. Here's more info:

https://graphixly.com/blogs/news/using-the-story-editor-in-clip-studio-paint-ex

>>4931179
Cheers, Thanks!

>>4931170
These typically look better than my comic work because I have to draw faster for the pages since it demands a lot of characters per page and I would have less reference and time to work with, thankfully the client understands. I’m trying to squeeze in time to learn perspective from a course as well

>>4931281
how do you find clients?

>>4931281
>>4931585
i mean that as in, i too would like to find them, not in a mean way

>>4931281
>lucy's thighs
I'm fucking COOMED

Would anyone be interested in reading what was supposed to be my Tezuka submission?

Critique is very welcomed

>>4931603
Would probably help if I posted the link.

nemumemo.webcomic.ws

>>4931603
Anything specific you want critique on?

>>4931630
General thoughts
I know the ending is rushed because I had to change the story twice and ran out of time

>>4931585
>>4931586
Just make a blog and upload art
I posted stuff like this last year since I made mine cus I was just practicing and dumping whatever I churned out

>>4922594
Inked >>4931195 still experimenting with gray scale and screen tones

Next page - socks and sandals

>>4922796
It’s only weird if you make it weird

>>4923505
Cool I’ll check it out. Making the comic has been pretty fun so far. I feel like the process combines everything I should know, so I’m immediately finding a lot of weaknesses when I can’t compose an image or draw a figure in a pose on demand.

>>4931603
I should’ve replied to this too since I just posted, but what stands out to me as kinda off is the body of water, it could probably use some manual touching up
You could maybe add a white outline around her if you’d like, wouldn’t hurt to try. I did some of it but I’m too lazy to do all of it for an example. Manga tend to use a white outline for characters next to dark or busy stuff

>>4931657
>the body of water
thanks, that's actually fixed in page 2
>white outline
it felt a little "off" to me and i couldn't figure out why, this is definitely it, thanks

>>4931657
>on page 2
here
nemumemo.webcomic.ws

>>4931668
I’m kind of tired so I was speed reading, but I feel the pages around when the building is destroyed with her landing was very confusing. The size of the effect lead me to believe she was going to be a giant monster, and then when she was fully drawn out, it looked as if the hero appeared, but that was just her who landed so the transition was kinda awkward. If anything I think the landing part with the destroyed building could really use some hand drawing, I have no idea what that effect is but it looks very unnatural next to everything else basically

>>4931694
>The size of the effect lead me to believe she was going to be a giant monster, and then when she was fully drawn out, it looked as if the hero appeared, but that was just her who landed

that was actually the exact intent of that sequence

>>4931603
>>4931605
>>4931632
I'm going to critique it as it were still intended for Tezuka. I'll start with story. As it is now, there is no story. Things happened, but nothing really happened at the same time. I know you said you ran out of time, but I don't really see it going anywhere besides some fight to beat the girl and ending it there.
The opening is too slow for a oneshot. Imo it's too slow for a first chapter of a series too. You have two pages dedicated for each boy, but we don't see much of a personality. Why should the reader care about your mc? Who is your mc? What does he want? Ect. Think about those things as you write.
As a reader who doesn't know your universe or the characters, I didn't really care for the foreshadowing at page 13. You haven't given enough hooks or explanation for me to care/understand why your character is so shocked. Or what exactly is going on.
The villian seems somewhat random. It's almost as if she's some sort of My Hero Academia character because you didn't spend any time establishing the world for the reader. I don't think you need giant expositions. But, I'd like to experience your world from your MC's point of view. What is this military? What has him so scared? Who his friend is and why? ect. I don't recommend saving up these tidbits till the end. Give the reader enough to want to find more about your characters and your world. Personally, a pure battle manga without any emotional stakes is boring. You can start a manga off with a battlescene, but you need to quickly transition to the heart of the manga after. Or add a twist that makes the reader want to read more.
Usually you have about 3 pages, to hook a reader to keep reading. So it's something to keep in mind as you go along.
Art wise. The manga is not monochrome, so if you submitted to the contest you'd be disqualified. If you want a more authentic manga look, use hatching to indicated form. And be sparing with screen tones.

>>4931179
Holy shit now THAT makes EX worth it for me.

>>4931708
Thank you.
The original story was a tale of two friends who had to drop out of military academy because of a corporate accident/cover up that ended up killing most of their class and giving them weird powers(Earth, Wind). Molly(Fire) is a result of another instance of the same corporation's fuck up (the pyrotechnics that burned her hands were from a mismarked weapons crate coming from the same corporation's production plant). I planned to have this information revealed through flashbacks that would have been relevant to the particular moment (hence the title), and hoped that would have helped to establish some emotionality to the story.
It does start pretty slow I can see that, I had just planned it to be longer and was trying to pace it accordingly. Will keep the three-page rule in mind though, it makes sense.
>not monochrome
I was going to run it through bitmap filter when it was finished.
>be sparing with the screentones
Yeah I definitely overworked most panels especially the first few pages.

Again, thanks for reading and thank you for your insight it really helps.

>>4931739
>The original story was a tale of two friends who had to drop out of military academy because of a corporate accident/cover up that ended up killing most of their class and giving them weird powers
That’s a good hook. You can start with that flashback. Or have one of the characters have a PTSD dream of the incident and waking up in cold sweat.

> Again, thanks for reading and thank you for your insight it really helps.
No problem. And thanks for reading my critique.

>>4931605
The story was hard to follow, and that’s mostly cause there was no story.

Take a step back, and always ask yourself “what’s this story about?” And make sure it’s something you can answer in a couple sentences. Stories are essentially “character wants something, but... therefore...” when you dilute them into their simplest form.

I’ll give you a simple guideline for building stories, now mind you, this isn’t the only way to tell a story, but it will cover the core fundamentals, and it should be enough to get you started.

Start with an idea, it can be whatever. From there, think of your MC. Who are they? AND most importantly, “what do they want?” Your character’s want, should tie in some way to the core theme you want to present. The central ideological conflict. So use this to think about that, and with that, you can now more easily define your character’s antagonist and/or obstacles. Next, what are your character’s flaws? What us the LIE they believe about the world? How did they come to believe this lie? From there, what do they NEED? What’s the lesson they need to learn in order to grow by the end?

How they reach that metamorphosis is your plot. Now you’ve got a story. As for how to structure that, look up 3 act structure, Dan Harmond’s story circle, or KiShoTenKetsu. Structure really only comes after you’ve got those core ideas down first though.

Looking at your manga, some simple ways to start fixing it, is to look at your MC, and define what he wants, and the lie he believes about the world, then you can use his encounter with the superhuman girl to create that sort of event that evokes change in his person. Start there at least. All of this is easier said than done

>>4931800
Cont...
But from the getgo, it’s hard to care about your characters, because none of them really want anything nor display any relatable traits. Someone else mentioned your opening was slow, and it is, but I’m gonna add to that. Cutting pages wouldn’t fix it, pacing isn’t an issue of page count, it’s an issue of momentum. There’s no momentum anywhere cause the story doesn’t move forward at all. And remember, your story should be driven by your character’s want. Therein lies your main problem. You can start slow, so long as you state A character’s want early, and use that to drive the events of the plot.

>>4931800
>>4931802
So from what I gather I should create more personable characters by indicating their wants/needs/beliefs early on, like in their first introduction correct?
>Story was hard to follow
There was a planned story but I had to change it twice and ran out of time so I was just trying to make some sort of ending. >>4931739

This helps, thank you.

>>4931739
>I planned to have this information revealed through flashbacks that would have been relevant to the particular moment (hence the title),
I’m >>4931800

Don’t do this. Flashbacks are essentially raw exposition and don’t actively move the story forward. It’s never a good idea to introduce a flashback until you’ve created the desire to KNOW what happened in your reader. Flashbacks should also recontextualize what’s been previously established in order to move the story by moving it into new light.

Give this a watch:

https://youtu.be/SPEAQ5eh5q4

>>4931819
>It’s never a good idea to introduce a flashback until you’ve created the desire to KNOW what happened in your reader.
Different guy here but thanks for saying this. I hadn't thought of it that way and it makes perfect sense to me. I WAS going to have a dramatic introductory chapter then flashback to the MC's past and over a couple of chapters of flashback get us back to the point of chapter 1, but you saying this made me realize that there isn't yet much reason the readers would want to know about the MC by that point. I'll save those flashbacks for a later date knowing that.

>>4931814
Yes, even if it’s not their primary want, your characters want, at least their immediate want, should be established ASAP.

On good example that springs to mind immediately is the Pizza Delivery scene in Spider-Man 2. Peter’s immediate want is simply to deliver the pizza on time, and it presents stakes too “or he’ll lose his job.” This creates tension in the story, and makes his entire ordeal entertaining to watch. However, that whole scene was used in order to set up the core ideological conflict of the film. Duty vs Personal Wants. Peter wants to live a normal life, BUT the responsibility of being a hero bears a heavy burden on him as he must make those sacrifices in order to meet other people’s needs. This makes us sympathize with him massively. By the end of the film, Peter goes through a character arc that forces him to reconcile this dilemma in some way. And all that, is set up by that opening Pizza scene. It’s one of several examples at the start of how Spider-Man interferes with Peter’s personal life, and his wants in life. But the scene, was structured with it’s own temporary want of simply getting the pizza delivered in order to move that specific scene forward and create tension.

Do you see how it all kinda weaves together using the exact same methods both in micro and macro?

>>4931824
Cheers, I nearly made that mistake as well, that’s why I was so quick to bring it up. It’s something so simple but so easily overlooked. It’s true you gotta make your readers want a flashback before you give them one. Otherwise they’re not gonna understand why they’re getting one, get bored, and not pay attention.

>>4931819
I wanted flashbacks to be a sort of recurring thing, at least in a way that shows how one's past and memories lead/affect them in the present, but what you're saying makes a lot of sense.

Also it's why I had to change everything mid-story.

>>4931826
Seems you take your theme, or at least your MC's ideology/theme and make that the core of most or all the conflicts in the story no matter the stakes. Makes a lot of sense, thanks.

>>4931846
Yes. That’s one way to tell a story at least. As it can change depending on whether you’ve got a flat character arc or a negative character arc. Some people even tell stories out of order (Tarantino). But your character’s motivations should always be what sets the story in motion.

I find it amusing that ths thread gives better writing advice than those snobs over at /lit/. I've legit gotten better writing critique here, than I've ever gotten in any of their writing or crit threads.

>>4932361
People here make comics, do people on /lit/ actually write anything?

>>4931654
what's a good blog site? i have a twitter and pixiv, but i would like something else too

New bread when? I wish to continue reading manga discussion without searching through the catalog

>>4932737
New thread right now, anon.

>>4932814
>>4932814
>>4932814
>>4932814
>>4932814