/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

>>4753945
But you didn't draw this
>>4753784
This is a drama thread

This post violates a rule.
Drama/community vendetta.

>>4753945
>No color
>Wonders why it's called soulless
baka

>>4753955
I don’t think color is the issue.

>>4753965
>No line-width variety
>The entire environment looks like it's not moving at all and doesn't interact with the character at all, specially the plants under his feet
There you go

>>4753989
Also the perspective of the wagon is bent. Look at the vertical line behind the figure.

>>4753989
There is line width variety but it’s akin to that found in a coloring book. Reminds me of Tradd Moore, except with no style. Maybe it’ll look better colored.

>>4753945
Whitebox?

>>4753945
That the drawing is grey scale is not a problem, the problem comes from the composition not being that good, your attention is called by sword guy but also by the wheel on the right because of contrast with black areas. It should only be sword guy or something that isn't that wheel.

Almost all of the drawing is detailed and so it feels cluttered, kind of like a high school sketch, I recommend to paint everything that isn't the main focus with some grey tones, don't leave big areas in white if they aren't the main focus. Could also just merge things together and remove details, kind of like the areas in black, that was very well done, just distracting since they are making the wheel pop and not helping the character.

The linework is tiny on his face compared to the linework everywhere else, maybe because you zoomed in is face and only there, I recommend to not zoom in to keep consistent linework, or just make sure you dont change your brush size beyond a certain size everywhere in the illustration.

His pose feels quite rigid, He's back is very straight and bending back even though he's sitting. Looks off balance.

The guy is too small in comparison to the rest of the pic, if he were less detailed then the main focus could shift to the background but since he has so many intricate things, your eye decides he is the main thing. If he's going to be the main thing make everything else help that idea. Size, tones, making him the most detailed area, making other areas not as detailed, etc.

Don't hear the "soulless" nonsense, it's not constructive at all, it's just driven by feelings. Always focus on the constructive criticism, I'm sure there's people that will love you art, there always are, you're pretty good already, just gotta improve and polish those skills.

>>4754189
Good crit. Nice to see something like this, instead of the usual 'You suck, read Loomis."

One thing I'd tack on, is the lighting is all wrong. A bright fire that's illuminating him that brightly would light up the entire side of the wagon, not just the wheels.
Your values are wonky, and flatten the whole image out, and you can't have a bright point light like a fire, and a bright background on the right, and not on the left. Consistency is crucial. And, the value of the background is the same as the value on the foreground, and that completely flattens it - designing a value composition is crucial if you want depth.

And yeah. The pose. It's stiff and unnatural. Not working.

"Soul", the most abused word here, just means it's not a pleasing image. But it can be, with some edits.

And, nitpicking - a tree stump would not be that flat, if cut down with axes. Even modern saws don't cut straight across, they go in partially at an angle. Make a large treefall covered in vines, and an interesting shape. This is just a generic 'stump" prop that looks unnatural and out of place in the middle of a forest.

>>4753945
you focus too much on doing clean lines without actually doing a good drawing. the perspective and composition are fucked and cluttered with far too much unneeded detail. the fire does not read. i didn't even know it was there. the character is very stiff and unnatural, the concept is potentially cool but the way you've designed it is not. you are clearly very ambitious with your drawings and that's admirable but at this point you are punching above your weight and the result is a very finely polished turd. you are very meticulous and detail oriented and clearly have a great deal of patience, those are strengths and as your fundies improve they will begin to pay dividends

>>4754239
wait
that's a fucking fire? holy shit

>>4753945
bendy sword
ground foliage (I assume you are drawing ferns) doesnt fit with the setting you are going for (Europe-esque enviroment?)
wrong perspective on carriage
character's feet, carriage's wheels and the fire don't actually interact with the enviroment

>>4753945
You are way too deliberate with your lines, every single line looks like it was done, undone, done, undone, done, undone over and over again. There is no spontaneity to it, no flow, so the whole piece feels like it was assembled in tine pieces that were glued together.
The sketch-to-lineart pipeline is a stupid meme. Work more from the 'sketch' phase and never do a line more than twice.

>>4753945
It's not bad, it's just boring. Why is he just sitting there? What's he doing? Your drawing is good but your storytelling sucks

>>4753945
No such thing as soul. It's just kinda mediocre and very stiff. Dude looks like he's about to fall bckwards.

>>4753945
it doesn't possess SOVL

>>4753945
>/beg/ westerner lineart
>bland subject
>boring composition
>picture is flat in a weird way like the fire and the wheel look on top of each other/too close, perspective is just fucked
>no economy of details, as much details in the shadows than in the light
and there's more
the thing is, it's bad skill but try hard so it comes off as a yikes, you know what I mean?
If you want soul you would need a less clean lineart, as in more sketchy, or a clean lineart but that is correct and not bold and aggressive everywhere
otherwise it's hard to give soul in b/w if unskilled and boring subject

>>4754547
>westerner lineart

mushbrained weebs are genuinely delusional

>>4753945
i like the character and the general details / lineart. It passes for comic book art, something in a average sized comic book. I think the cart and the guys feet should probably dig into the dirt and press into the grass. That is all technical though, I think the reason people don't like it is cause there is nothing really happening? If its concept art - there should be something happening that shows off the concept of this cool ancient snake warrior a little more - like maybe an action scene that shows off more of the world he inhabits - because right now its an out of context spread of a comic book.

>>4753945
composition could be a lot better.
gesture is pretty bad, helooks like he's leaning back.
also you have that long nose thing going on that a lot of western female artists have at low levels. you could call it style but i think it's more that you don't understand facial proportions well.

>>4753945
It's incredible stiff. There's no energy in the mark making. Looks like every stroke is done with the highest setting on the stabilizer

>>4753945

soul isn't a thing

honestly the composition itself isn't that bad

>didn't get a feeling that each component shared the space or composition, felt like each object was traced one by one on the canvas
>detail and high contrast in places that mess up the composition, for example the trees far away, values meld together when they get far away, you should overplay that as much as you can especially when doing comic kind of drawing, as it is people will first look at the black trees/grass on the white background
>wagon feels like it's floating on top of the grass, wood doesn't look like it's burning, the flames have the same value as the grass, would've kept the 100 value on the flames only and everything else lower than that if I was painting this, maybe shine some off the sword but not that relevant
>the wagon perspective is off, look at the end of the wagon and compare that to the right top corner, I can see what reads as the top of the wagon on a part which is closer to me, yet I can't see it on the part that is more far away, which makes the wheel feel a bit more off as it already is
>the right arm of the guy feel a bit unnatural, try to make that pose with your own arm and see where your elbow and shoulder ends up
>the wood on the side of the wagon could be uniform with perspective
>light from the bonfire would light up the underside of the wagon, so the ambient occlusion wouldn't be that extreme

you could save an awful lot of effort by locking in the lights and shadows during early stage and focusing on the detail after that, but honestly I paint so much more than do comic like stuff so you could think if my two cents are of any value to you or your style

took a few minutes to play around with the things I talked about, had to use mouse because work pc but hopefully you get some kind of idea what I meant, the black dots are just me testing how it would look in thumbnail form with more ambient occlusion, just didn't bother to take them out afterward

>>4753945
The same reason anyone ever calls anything "soulless": they are retards who are incapable of expressing themselves properly.

>>4753945
Because it needs more ferns and fully modeled vagina in at least a layer.

>>4754551
noob westerners always do this insanely thick lineart probably comic influenced while other /beg/ nip do this uniform thin line like 5-8px wide
Anyway, seethe harder retard you suck.

>>4754802
please post some of your work, you bigly genius, you!

>>4753945
It looks like a lot of things were slapped together, but they are not really interacting with each other and the lines make it look really flat. Also, things are really off. Why does he look he's posing for a shoot?

>>4754618
now there is a soul

>>4753945
don't listen to these other anons telling you about lighting and shit, thats not going to affect the soul.
the main problem is the face looks stiff and out of place with the rest of it. the lines are so much thinner there, it looks odd when theyre thick everywhere else. the angle is a bit stiff too.. i duno something feels off about it. the rest of it looks ok to me

The piece is okay from a layout perspective, something that you might find in a book illustration, but not very dynamic. Perspective is good, nice attention to details on the carriage. But the way things are rendered lack energy and don't fit together as a whole piece.

The wagon itself doesn't seem grounded because the back wheel doesn't look like it's on the ground. The man sitting looks off balance and doesn't seem to be resting on his sword even though the pose is suppose to invoke that. Why is the wood in the fire not burning? The foliage on the ground looks like it could almost be copy/pasted in. And finally the lighting is too simple and wrong, if the fire is the light source, why put a gray behind it on the opposite side of the guy?

The artist should look up some reference of campfires, repose the figure, and think a little bit more about how the light from the fire interacts with the rest of the environment.

It lacks soul because there is no energy in the lines or thought in the lighting.

Imagine asking for advice here, the Dunning Kruger central, LMAOOOOOO

remember to desing the art work!

Big
Medium
Small

>>4754618
Based.
>>4755202
Above post is proof there is good advice here, you just need to sift through the shit to get to the kernel of corn

>>4755202
You could be contributing instead of being a smug shitter

>>4754618
>soul isn't a thing
t. Godless Atheist

>>4753945
You need

>detail on areas of focus
>variety in line thickness
>clear story picture is trying to tell and focus on what emotion you are trying to cause in the viewer.

Logs should have charred marks. He looks like a well travele man, where are the marks from wear on his clothes? His wagon wheels could have wear. He looks like a yellow bellied city slicker who fancies himself a explorer, out on his first day in the woods. Plants should be stomped flat under his feet and the wagon wheels.

The plants in his cart should be more detailed. They are a central focus that draws the eye, but the lack of detail makes me want to look and find where my eyes are supposed to focus.
He is the most detailed, but his posture and expression are boring and don't hold my eye. His body language is guarded but relaxed a little, but not expressive enough. Go bigger with the body language. Why is he looking at the viewer with that bored expression? Fuck you buddy, I didn't want to look at your plant cart anyway. He needs to be more relaxed with eyes on guard like a lion or guard dog feigning rest, or more casual and relaxed confidence. You need to get to a point where you are drawing the emotion in their body instead of focusing on making a human shape. Emotion is soul.There's a difference in how you approach drawing a human, and a human with emotion in their body language and eyes Once the human form becomes second nature for you to draw, you should focus on emotion in the form. The viewer wants emotion. I will add your anatomy is outstanding, you just need to pose it more natutally.

>>4753945
Because everyone here is a weeb and it's not anime. Dont listen to the simpletons.

>>4754019
Yes

>>4754611
Not OP, but I like his nose. Not everyone likes a Michale Jackson anime nose.

>>4754618
Very soulful anon. Painting makes you more qualified than most. You're more experienced with finding light sources and technique. Applying your experience with colored to black and white came across excellent. Off topic, but I'd love a link to your work if this is you out of your element.

>>4753945
>ingle line looks like i
Hi mate, major issue for me is, it looks like you didn't use your taste when drawing the image.
It appears sterile, boring and not care for enough. Try spending more time on the thumbnail phase and be very picky, use the taste, anything that doesn't please the eye get rid off, and than on the actual chosen image, spend more and more time, redo, redo, redo every part, till it looks good, you have eyes, you will know. Take care

>>4754915
>It looks like a lot of things were slapped together, but they are not really interacting with each other

This. There is just a general lack of interaction between the parts of the drawin, and it creates an uncanny, sterile mood. Someone mentioned that the fire doesn't interact with its surroundings. Also it is coloredd the same white as leaves and creates no difference in lighting of nearby objects.

By looking at the picture, I can't see where the light is coming from. Where is the sun?

Another one mentioned the feet on the leaf, theres no print marks.

I will point out and ask where did the carriage come from? It seems blocked between the treestump and the other tree/trees on the right.

The wheels have no trackmarks, and it looks like the carriage was softly placed on top of some rubbery leaves which withstand its weight.

I think the "soulless" is a quick intuitive way to criticize the drawing, when the claimer of soullessness doesn't himself know where the uncanny feeling comes from.

I had to and wanted to think about this for the 10 minutes, because I also wondered where does the weird feeling come from. And in that, it clearly shows you have talent and/or perspirance. Good luck.

>>4757690
Soul is real. It is emotion, body language, passion. It is the difference between trying very hard to draw a human vs trying very hard to draw body language and expression. A scribble of a human with form and emotion has more soul than a stiff but very immaculate painting of a perfectly done human.

>>4753945
Wildly varying line weight without any though or care.
Tones go from pure black to pure white.
Tones don't make any sense (why are objects in the foreground as bright as the light source? They don't even have any feasible way of getting direct light. The underside of the carriage should be one of the darkest areas, yet it's one of the brightest.)
Generic Sir Frowns-a-Lot with terrible perspective on his face.

Don't use manga tutorials to draw these types of scenes.

>>4757747
Good example here. A doodle of Rimbaud by his lover Paul Verlane. Both had a very famous and violent relation.

>>4757961

>>4753945
because it sucks, contextually
it's stiff and mechanical looking. No life in your lines

>>4757961
>>4757968
Cute, I ship them now

>>4754740
Don't worry bro I got the reference

HARK MY FELLOW WEEBS
>>4754547

>>4753945

I don't think its soul-less anon.

I think people just equate white-people-soul with lack-of-soul.

If you approach from that angle:

Stiffness or stability?

>boring subject

Again it's not ANIME TITTIES (which i personally love) but it tells a story.

Too much detail? That's a matter of opinion. That's just good craftsmanship in my book. even nature is overly detailed. You could argue that the whole is perhaps being dominated by the parts etc

boring composition - as opposed to what? all composition is boring, anything analysed by composition will be found boring.

picture is flat - thats the way anon sees things.

bland subject - jesus christ youre giving weebs a bad name, this is basic tolkien shit

>/beg/ literally pyw

>>4753945
because it's boring and generic AF and the """rendering""" is awful

>>4760989
>rendering
Found the /beg/

>>4753945
I would trade soul for (you)s and a thread of 47 posters providing feedback

Did whitebox ever finish this? He’s been working on this for like a year

>>4760998
(You)’s and unique feedback aren’t worth anything if you don’t apply them. Look at Brian.

>>4753945
I eye isn't really pulled though the drawing on a clear path. I feel like you could change it though contrast between foreground and background. Your style is pretty dope though, keep it up

>>4760979
Hi whitebox

>>4761106
>>4761106

is my posting style so noticeable damn lol

boring can be interesting pic related

I think you've chosen to present the subject in a boring angle, boring pose, boring composition and boring lighting. You're not portaying any emotion or action. Resting is an action. Sleeping is. This guy is simply "posed". Just because you out him near rule of 3rds doesnt make interesting. Why is he looking at the camera anyway? Think not about fundies and accuracy, but first about emotion and what to portray. What is interesting

>>4753945
it's not soulless, but an illustration needs purpose. like, what is that dude doing out there? he's just sitting in an unnatural pose, leaning back into the air with his hands grabbing the sword. so what is he, alert and ready (sword) or relaxed (leaning back)? Tell a story. For example, if he was cold, he'd maybe lean towards the fire. And the snakes in his hair could hate the heat and hiss