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/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

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File: 416 KB, 2047x1696, 94ccba6619e431be145620d11684e68f.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3699618 No.3699618 [Reply] [Original]

have you ever masturbated to a painting?

>> No.3699619
File: 94 KB, 1000x1431, 61TnNVzDSwL._SL1431_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3699619

>> No.3699625

>>3699619
Why don't you have a seat right over there?

>> No.3699704

>>3699619
Too fat.

>> No.3699896
File: 296 KB, 1164x1200, 1542577008766.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3699896

This is the sexiest painting I've ever seen in my life, and I'm not even gay. The masculine physique is so pleasing, the lack of a face makes it all so tasteful and graceful. The brushwork accentuating and elegantly defining the forms of the horse and the male. It's absolutely perfect. No Boog kiddie drawings, no Sargent perfect faces, none of Freuds fat as fuck landwhales can compete.

>> No.3699905

>>3699896
>I'm not even gay
I've got news for you anon

>> No.3699907

>>3699896

I'm not gay and I don't find this sexy. If you do, you are.

>> No.3700049

>>3699896
I love that HORSE ASS

>> No.3700068

>>3699618
no but naked paintings were my first exposure to that sort of imagery

>> No.3700959

Once, when I was stoned as fuck, I did actually beat it to a Giger Painting. That was definitely the weirdest one I ever did.

No regrets tho.

>> No.3701137
File: 692 KB, 1273x1600, Fragonard_The_Reader(2).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3701137

The only painting that ever made me consider that, but the answer is no.
I've never jerked it to a painting, yet.

>> No.3701145
File: 1.04 MB, 1497x2500, 1517066850546.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3701145

>>3701137

>> No.3701183
File: 228 KB, 768x957, right.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3701183

>>3701137
I forgot about Hussar, another consideration.

>> No.3701209

>>3699896
that horses's ass looks a little too human
its unsettling

>> No.3701216

>>3699618
Why do you want to know that?

>> No.3701218

>>3699618
Nah. I can't even masturbate to painted porn, something about the way paintings are rendered kills any eroticism for me.

>> No.3701221
File: 822 KB, 1280x1768, jamin_brennus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3701221

I stumbled on this painting in a book when I was like 13 and thought it was the hottest thing ever.

>> No.3701250
File: 177 KB, 1125x1253, 37F4AF9A-7DAE-4797-8E16-B0494AE27B7F.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3701250

>>3701221
look at that smug sob. he know what hes getting

>> No.3701278

>>3701221
This painting looks like an incel's dream

>> No.3701288

>>3701278

>he doesn't want to be a Visigoth with a harem full of captured naked Roman hotties,
>or a captured Roman hottie about to be sold naked on the slave block to a Visigoth uber-Chad

I'm sorry for you

>> No.3701340

Literally all the time. I have several bookmarks just for it.

Here's a few

All start with xhamster dot com
(X)/photos/gallery/painted-eroporn-art-144-dario-ortiz-robledo-2764637

(X)/photos/gallery/painted-eroporn-art-138-victor-lyapkalo-2114790

(X)/photos/gallery/painted-eroporn-137-robert-auer-2108710

>> No.3702284
File: 244 KB, 841x1200, 1428791737722.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3702284

>>3699618
Honestly, this one does it for me

>> No.3702287
File: 408 KB, 1920x2560, 1428804770103.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3702287

>>3699618
Do sculptures count?

>> No.3702290
File: 1.21 MB, 1639x2000, 1428780140185.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3702290

>>3699618

>> No.3702304

>>3702284
>>3702287
>>3702290
these are good

>> No.3702326

>>3699618
I'm a woman, there is very little stuff directed towards me. At least stuff that's free and not fanfiction. So yeah, I paint a lot of stuff I abuse myself to.

>> No.3702330
File: 480 KB, 1400x1181, 351-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3702330

>> No.3702346

>>3699618
Nope, if it lacks titties the size of a head I cant masturbate to it

>> No.3702389

>>3702346
>lacks titties the size of a head
Lets play spot the fag

>> No.3702397
File: 59 KB, 644x717, 2018092801.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3702397

>>3702326
>stuff I abuse myself to.
W-what kind of stuff do you paint anon?

>> No.3702401

>>3702326
What kind of stuff do you like exactly?

I've seen some pretty good nude male paintings/sculptures that seem like they'd appeal to women. Like >>3699896

>> No.3702418

>tfw only find one picture in the thread attractive
am I broken?

>> No.3702430

>>3702389
>unironically enjoys academic paintings of little boys
>"Yuck boobs are for degenerates"
We could've been on 4channel you retards!

>> No.3702479

>>3702389
>I like my women without woman traits
Is this a faggot?

>> No.3702598
File: 686 KB, 607x625, 1468457627003.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3702598

>>3702418
Could be worse. I'm in the same boat but the picture in question is this >>3699619 because of the look on the face and the exposed shoulders due to the slipping top.

>> No.3702700

No but some of Manet's paintings are extremely hot.

>> No.3703401

>>3702479
>>3702430
Woah you guys are a bunch of queers. Imagine unironically wanting to fuck your own grandma

>> No.3703416

>>3702479
>>3702430
r/4chan

>> No.3703418

>>3703401
>>3703416
I give you 10 years before you end up in jail

>> No.3703445

>>3702598
Holy shit you sick incel

>> No.3703499

>>3703418
>>3703416
>>3703401
>>3702479
>>3702430
>>3702389
>this is the state of ic right now
Imagine wanting a fishy bacteria filled hole over a hot throbbing cock

>> No.3703669

>>3702290
He has a small butt i would've had drawn it larger. But thats maybe the reason i'm here shitposting and he drew a lot of good artwork

>> No.3703711

i jerk off to digital paintings on /u/ all the time

>> No.3703765
File: 145 KB, 850x744, df543.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3703765

Yes.

>> No.3703780

>>3703765
How can anyone jack off to such poorly drawn shit?

>> No.3703786

>>3702418
I dont find women sexually attractive . I learned that a long time ago. I never fapped to doujins, I never fap to porn. Im not visually stimulated.

But I do pretend to be, because women get autistic if you don't drool over them on occasion or pinch their butts. I love my gf because she's a thoughtful and caring person, and will make a good mother. But I do not care about the female form in the least.

>> No.3703798

>>3703669
>he
Wait, that's a guy?

>> No.3703801

>>3703798
Y-yes, you fapped to this?

>> No.3703802

>>3703499
This. Dicks are more aesthetic than vagene.

>> No.3703804

>>3703801
Almost did. Guess I'm biscum now.

>> No.3703808

>>3703786
maybe your just gay?

>> No.3703813

>>3703499
a vag has less bacteria than a mouth tho

>> No.3703831

>>3703808
Not attracted to men. I jerk off to fantasies involving women, and erotic fiction involving heterosexual intercourse. I just am not titilated by big butts, or big tits. Nor small butts or small tits. Nor big muscular chests or big dicks.

I dont care about the visual, physical form of a woman but I like the idea of having sex with women.

>> No.3703872
File: 105 KB, 629x900, no_means_no.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3703872

I knew keeping an eye on this thread was a good idea

>>3701340
>User: Egi, 75 years, male, heterosexual
>From: Small town in Bavaria
grandpa Egi posting erotic art on xhamster, but he's been inactive as a user for 3 years so he's probably dead... on the other hand
I've heard of articles published in well respected journals (the Sun probably) announcing that looking at tits prolongs life.
>preemptive F

>>3702326
>So yeah, I paint a lot of stuff I abuse myself to.
>abuse myself
getting real strong catholic vibes here.
That's cute. Post something of yours so we can abuse you too... /crabaway

>> No.3703897
File: 160 KB, 848x1135, William-Adolphe_Bouguereau_%281825-1905%29_-_Child_at_Bath_%281886%29.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3703897

Bouguereau was /ourguy/

>> No.3703950

>>3703445
If I was an incel I wouldn't find realist paintings attractive and claim that image is ruining my life by being posted over superior art depicting men. At least learn what words mean before using them anon.

>> No.3704023
File: 35 KB, 356x448, Galarina.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3704023

I got a Salvador Dali art book when I was 10 and would stare at this for hours

>> No.3704056

>>3702287
This one is very hot

>> No.3704161

>>3701340
those are pretty good galleries on that profile.

>> No.3704162

>>3703765
Thanks doc

>> No.3704508
File: 89 KB, 1024x610, tumblr_mrdpcxfsFQ1r4xd5go1_1280.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3704508

>> No.3704706

>>3703669
drawing males with stupidly large asses is so fucking dumb

go jack off to a woman and stop having your shitty art clog up my booru when i search male_focus

>> No.3704719

>>3703897
sigh.... *unzips*

>> No.3704726

>>3704508
BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPsnnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

>> No.3704899

>>3704726
TFW no arty farty bf

>> No.3704908

>>3702330
>portrait du comte Roger Walewski
So that's a boy, huh....

>> No.3704915

>>3699618
I had sex with one of my paintings once.

>> No.3704917

>>3704915
story?

>> No.3704959

>>3704917
>Be me
>Have sex with a painting

>> No.3706655
File: 1.96 MB, 381x338, sade.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3706655

>>3704915
>>3704959
this fucking retard

>> No.3706677

>>3704915
>sex
sex is for living things. but keep pretending you have an active sex life with your paintings

>> No.3706706

>>3704917
I rolled it into a tube and shoved it up my ass

>> No.3706727
File: 34 KB, 338x305, Dissapointment1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3706727

>>3706706

>> No.3707314
File: 411 KB, 2124x1317, Waterhouse_Hylas_and_the_Nymphs_Manchester_Art_Gallery_1896.15.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3707314

>> No.3707450

>>3707314
lovely composition, really well depicted scene and social situation, they look like a group of middle eastern migrants swarming around blond Swedish girl

One problem though, who would go to the pond to get smelly stagnant water?

>> No.3707502
File: 3.03 MB, 2323x3186, Sir_Edward_John_Poynter_—_Cave_of_the_Storm_Nymphs.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3707502

came close to skeeting to this once. the bottom girl specifically.

>> No.3708333
File: 1.47 MB, 2325x1865, Hans_von_Aachen_-_Pan_and_Selene(2).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3708333

I always wonder about intent of authors and their patrons. I clearly can't jerk to it, but pieces themselves can be filled with eroticism.

Am I spoiled by today's porn or was the intent different for painters back then?
Now to be clear the softcore porn of digital 'photorealisitc' manga doesn't do it for me either, soo...

>> No.3709017

Dude, I even jerked to ASCII art and even just erotic stories. But all that's behind me now.

>> No.3709076
File: 136 KB, 650x1200, Marco_Basaiti_-_St_Sebastian_-_WGA01399.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3709076

>> No.3711172

That thread where anon photoshopped large breasts on classical oil paintings did it for me, literally stopped right there and went to the school restroom

btw if anyone has screencaps I'd appreciate it

>> No.3711174
File: 454 KB, 1280x1705, the-sin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3711174

>>3711172
Also this one got really close

>> No.3711191

>>3711174
>those thighs
UNF

>> No.3711281
File: 1.34 MB, 800x1085, 1494268729862.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3711281

>>3701221
Stop jacking off to paintings.