/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

For years I always wanted to draw. Yet for years I keep struggling with the same problem. Any time I want to start drawing I realize how long it will take me to get good. It's a problem of ego I guess where I have an idea of how good I want to be but I know that I won't be that good for a very long time. This causes me to be impatient. To want to rush through the exercises. Yet deliberate, focused practice is the only way to improve. Because I have this ideal of how good I want to be everything I will make until then will feel inadequate and thus won't make me feel rewarded. It's frustrating to want to create something but not have the abilities to do it and not being able to gain them anytime soon no matter how hard you would try. It's because I am so old and haven't accomplished anything yet I feel like it's embarassing for me to be bad. If I was young again I would not care. If I was successful in some other area I wouldn't care as much as I would have something else to give me self-esteem.

The irony now is that if I started years ago I could have been good by now. Even back then I knew that I would regret it later if I didn't start. I knew practice is the only way to get good. Yet I didn't.

I don't know if I will ever be able to overcome this. It looks like all the successful artists got good enough early or just enjoy drawing intrinsically. I wonder if there are any good artists that felt the same as me.