/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

It looks too western like youre trying to mimic japanese style instead of actually finding your own anime style.
The dojo building is too japanese also. This looks sci-fi when looking at the other panels so just make it a sci-fi building rendered in manga style. You dont have to remind the reader what the influences are.
Kill that tangent at the top of the girls head and turn her around to make it feel more like manga. She’s way too big in this page composition for us to be staring at her back. Thats some western comic shit.
Manga will always use a full body to show off a cool transformation or to show who now has dominance in a battle in shonen.
Also this whole establishing panel is too static. It reads like she’s just standing there letting them admire her or something. This is really enforced by her t pose position.. she isnt doing anything.
I broke that up in my redraw that huge panel is doing nothing in your current layout. Its showing nothing. Its too close to show the environment and nothing is happening substantial like a brutal punch or something.

Also work on your shapes. Do thumbnails over and over. Your shapes should be visible from space. This page isnt interesting enough to keep a reader. Also you arnt leading the flow of the readers eye down the page.

Notice in my redraw...

1 the forced perspective on the dojo turns the subject matter into a triangle leading them more into the panel from the top middle. The rocks gather towards the girls head thats overlapping to lead into the next panel

2 full body drawing with the ponytail leading into next panel.

3 face close up with forced perspective is an inverted trangle leading into last panel


Study Oda of one piece and Akira toriyama. Fuck everybody else. One piece is the best selling comic by a single artist of all time and theres a reason for that. He’s a master of composition and he learned it from Toriyama. The flawless flow of his pages keeps the reader in his work. Good luck.