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>> No.6854949 [View]
File: 1.40 MB, 2522x1767, 恋人姉妹と先生_024_025.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6854949

>>6854947
His feedback for the comic itself (which can be read here https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1nqtLnCYCHXr1PYNUu12OlfyxyPEhhsvh?usp=sharing for reference) is as follows:
It's well drawn and easy to read. The work is excellent for a new author, but if I want to draw regularly for a commercial business then it needs to be even better. As it is it meets the minimum level, so I should aim to make it even better so they get what they'd be paying for. However, it would still need to be "adjusted for the japanese market" (his words).
For example, the protagonist, despite having a very lucky experience doesn't seem very happy about it. He more or less expresses that the readership would not really relate with the protagonist on that front. He also points out that there's no change in the relationship between the characters by the end, which he feels makes it monotonous.
He suggests I change it so that, for example, the relationship changes during the sex so that the girls end up falling in love with the teacher rather than apparently only treating him like he's just a penis to play with like it is now.
K-san goes on to say that if they were to "formally commission" me to do this work, he would add another 20 pages. 4 before the sex starts to elaborate on the heroine's relationship to the protagonist, and 16 "to have the heroines fall in love with the hero after they are defeated by his penis during sex."

He tells me that the theme for the book (bisexual ffm threesomes) is much better suited for doujins, as in japan it's really more of a niche than something fit for a commercial magazine like theirs where they want to attract a more general audience (within their demographic of course) to hit sales targets (which he described in detail with the numbers -- they aim for 15k sales, and he adds that pays the author out 1.5million yen (~10k USD) in royalties). He seemed pleased when I suggested that I could instead make the book around a more popular theme.
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