/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

>>4624461
I want to kill myself every single day but death is the thing I fear the most so I can't.
I just linger in absolute despair crying myself to sleep every day.
I cannot improve by myself anymore and I can't afford courses.
Videos and tutorial on the internet don't help me at all, I can learn like this. I need a physical person to sit with me and teach me, be there for me if I have a question or to correct and explain my errors.
I can't exist like this, every day I'm in mental agony.
Have a sample of my dogshit garbage that shouldn't even be near the word "art".
How do I escape this? I don't want to be another wageslave in a corporation I want to create something.