/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

Drawing and painting are the only things that make life worth living but I hate playing the social media game, I can't care for likes and follows and clout. I know it's supposed to bring in attention for money through commissions or patreon, but if I don't really care about that should I even be making art anything but a hobby? Part of me thinks I should just go to art school and become a random storyboard/animation monkey. I think of art mainly as a way to connect and share ideas so maybe I could just get into magazine illustration or something too I guess.
My numbers aren't even bad, I just start hating the system and everyone involved and end up deleting everything without a word so I can enjoy doing art again.

my god, all the fucking /trad/chads around here were absolutely right, as a digitalfag who wanted to try painting something nice with actual, solid paint I've been filtered hard trying to understand how the fuck I'm supposed to blend anything or control the opacity on shit that dries either too fast or too slow without having my colors get FUCKING MUDDY, following color wheels and charts to try to prevent it and everything just looks like a terrible fucking disaster anyway, I have no idea how I'm supposed to control my brushes or deal with brush angles and despite waiting for layers to dry before adding new ones things still end up streaky and disgusting, not even in that aesthetic painterly way. I feel like I've already ruined my brushes just by not cleaning anything well enough or I guess not even knowing how to because I always find dry paint lodged up into the bristles after I thought they were okay to set to dry, making it even harder to control anything next time, how the fuck am I supposed to erase a mistake when everything stains, my god do I fucking HATE painting, this shit isn't intuitive to me at all.
at least watercolor's been fun in the past, solid paint is just an absolute nightmare and makes me want to off myself