/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

I did a game art degree, only learned basic 3d modelling and animation, pretty much everyone graduated with only that knowledge because the lecturers stated specifically to not seek online courses or tutorials because "you pay so much for uni which guarantee top end education and you cant trust outsiders".

Everyone graduated with prospects of only prop modelling little did they know those mass prop modelling jobs can and will be done by exports for pennies. Even worse the uni lecturers stated that we had to buy and use legal copies of like 10 software's and if we were found out we would be banned so people spent a lot of money on artist tools for trad, digital and 3d.

The course was also packed with a lot of useless shit so i had atleast 12 final deadlines per semester with most of those deadlines having an alpha and beta deadlines along with it so you were stuck creating a portfolio that everyone else was also assigned to do and you could not have any time doing your own shit with your own knowledge or look to improve on it or pick up something else like vfx, rigging or coding to make your stuff infinitely stronger and unique.

I couldnt and still haven't been able to get a proper job for about 2 years, the first year i applied for 3d, games, creative jobs and didnt even get replies, the second year i had to give up on this whole facade and applied to other works which didnt pay much or at all. I've been applying for an art teaching course now because i'm currently struggling with job and money. Hopefully i get accepted because i'm still waiting to get an ok since the stuff is supposed to start in like 3 months.

I am not even close to achieving any of my goals, I never had sex, I have no friends and no money. What kind of life is this? Am I being tested? If so, I am afraid I will be completely broken when I get to the point of success.

What's the point of being tested, if you are going to be fucked up at the end, really?

The worst part is I don't even know how I can fix myself. I am an average looking guy and I am not a sperg but I still can't succeed in any endeavour I pursuit. No one's out there to tell me, it was always just me and only me.

I see my art as the only thing that is worth anything in my life. Without art I see myself as a completely worthless person and the problem occurs when my art doesn't get as much views or likes as I would like it to get. I feel like complete trash after that and basically want to end myself, how can I deal with this? It's a deep rooted issue but I have to start somewhere, I can't live my life thinking of myself this way if I want to create anything (as we know, creating requires mental energy).

I won't post my art because it's more of a psychological problem and it doesn't matter how I draw - in the end the issue would stay no matter the skills.

>tfw you spend more time on hating yourself for not putting the work than actually putting the work

How do I fight against this?

How do I get rich as an artist

>tfw a beginner and I cant or want to do anything other than art
>on top of that be poor as fuck

Who got it worse here?

>>3075918
>tfw you'll never have sex with a fish