/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

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I understand why all of you would downplay neuroticism or even make a claim that it doesn't exist. But what is this state where you feel no desire to do anything, feel unwanted and stupid, trapped in a limbo of shitty choices made by and for you, your heart beating fast all the time, feeling like you have a fever, stressed out that you have to go to sleep and wake up tomorrow to the same grim reality. Constant flashes, reminders of things that happened and I can't change anymore. There are no people to talk to, just quiet suffering in solitude.

Objectively speaking this is not the state where you can practice art and it's just another pain where I can't even do things that could make me feel better because of how bad my well-being is. But I still don't want to give up on myself, hence I'm asking. Maybe I should die if it's all that bad, I can't really tell, I don't want to die but maybe sometimes things are just too bad. I don't know