/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

i've been trying to learn human figure construction, but i keep producing dog shit, and i can see very clearly it's dog shit, i just can't move past it

all the books and videos say, "start with drawing just the basic skeleton in different poses", but i just can't fucking do it!! even the ones that are supposed to just stand normally look absolutely retarded, forget fancy poses

it seems so intuitive to everyone else, but i just can't model 3-dimensional space in my head if my life depended on it. i end up with a gazillion lines on the canvas, to the point where i can't see anything. there's nothing creative about it, i might as well do high school geometry in my spare time

recently i even started learning blender to model basic things, hoping this would improve my spatial reasoning, but when i take up the pencil all i can see is a flat page and i want to scream at it

fuck me, fuck this gay world, fuck jannies, fuck everything!! and fuck you too /ic/ for being so talented!!

is it autism /ic/? what the fuck is wrong with me????