/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

I've been drawing my whole life and I genuinely love helping new artists grow. I never hesitate to give them encouragement and constructive criticism. There was one guy who was a total beginner a few years ago and I would often help him out, but I stopped seeing him for a while until last year he shared his newest picture. It is better than anything I will ever make.

I immediately became depressed, and since then it's seemed to open the floodgates because now I'm meeting artist after artist after artist who was a beginner a few years ago, but are miles better than me now. Not only that, they're hobbyists; art is just a fun thing to do on the side while they're working real jobs. Not only THAT, they're also better than me at cooking or they work out every day or countless other qualities. Art is the only thing I have, and I still can't compare.

I hate all of them, and I hate myself for hating them. They haven't done anything to me, they just have a work ethic that I will never ever possess. I wish I could blame it on my mental health, but I know they have struggles in their own lives which they overcome, and I don't.

Even when I do put in the effort it never amounts to anything; I follow tutorials as closely as humanly possible, I try to apply that to pieces from imagination, but even things I've drawn hundreds of times before just never get any easier and never turn out any better. I distinctly remember having the same exact problems with my inking and values in high school.

The pandemic is actually the best thing that's ever happened to me because I have all the time I need to try and improve and I'm drawing more than ever before. But even that pales in comparison to what these other people do, and I know I'm only going to fall further and further behind.

I get why people say not to give advice because you're only training the competition, but I can't stop myself, I want to make people's lives better. Just not if it it makes my life so much worse.