/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

I'm starting to hate drawing as a whole. Like really hate drawing. I can't will myself to make anything more than light doodles clustered in a sketchbook page once a month and every time I try to practice the fundies to get better, I get irritable and every fiber of my body is telling me to stop whether it's the pain in my back, numbness in my legs, or pins and needles in my fingers. It makes me want to tear up what I'm working on and smash a window in frustration. I can't show any of my big ol' art "buddies" because what am I supposed to show them? I got nothing. I try to post my studies in an art forum but it gets fucking buried with no response. I;m so mediocre, I can't even spark a negative reaction. Despite all this, I don't ever want to stop. I'm never going to stop. I don't care if all I will ever be is an ant pushing a brick to the other side of the planet. I'm going to keep drawing even if it kills me. It's not like I got anything else going on.