/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

How do you keep going when it feels like no one believes in you? How do you continue onward when you know that if they told you the feelings that you’ve projected on to them, they’d be right?
I’m so fucking slow at my work that I never post. I don’t look for new commissions, I’m not grinding my fundies, I don’t have one ambitious piece or project to my name. The only reason I’m still trying is because I knew that if I let go and gave up on everything completely, 100% of my life would slip into the abyss.
Is there a better way of keeping myself hyped for my work instead of coasting on complete delusions that at this pace and at this skill level I’m GMI? I have friends, family, a gf, but I feel like fucking off and changing my name and living somewhere else just so that if I fail, I’ve failed alone and not under their judgmental gaze, and if I succeed, I can face them a successful person. I just feel like I’ve been nothing but a fuckup for my whole entire life.