/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

Tried "inking" it again, this time being a bit more loose, and just trying to imagine the way i'd do it, if i was using a physical pen/ink, how i'd do it on paper, essentially.
Forcing myself not to zoom in, and no variation in pen size (for thicker lines i just go over them again, basically).

I think it looks better, though i'm not quite there yet.
However i think at this point it could also be that what's missing is less theoretical, and more just being able to place a thick or thin line correctly, or discern and control values better; in other words -- practice.

Next i'll try to take the pencils still, and "paint" over them directly, see where that leads.

Any further advice is much appreciated.
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(pencil; old ink; new ink)