/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

My sanity.

Being an artist is awful. When you start out and you're bad, you hate your fucking life. The anxiety of "what if I don't make it" is one of the most soul-crushing experiences anyone can ever feel. The utter fear of what the future may bring if you follow this path is, alone, enough to make anyone quit. Keep in mind that this is with me coming from a fairly high-middle class family that can afford to sustain me for a fairly long period of time and allow me to try out different paths in life.

I don't sleep well anymore. I'm constantly haunted by the idea of "what if I don't make it?" and "I'm wasting my time, I should've gone to engineering or something that is respectable and makes money instead." That last one in particular is even harsher if you don't have a social life and want to substitute your lack of one with a path that is culturally and socially acceptable, since you HAVE to fit in, and you hate most of the neckbearded nerd-imbeciles or hipster canvas shit-splatterers that infest your hobby, so you HAVE to look outside this group.

It's gotten to the point where I have actively thrown years of my life away because I am too lazy/depressed/disheartened/disappointed to get into a routine that would improve. In fact, my biggest fear is that I start to improve and realise that I hate art in the first place. Yet at the same time I have to justify all the time I have wasted, so I try to aim for greater and greater ambitions in order to "redeem" my past failures (I will be a great artist/I'm going to have a huge following/I'm going to become famous/etc).

Just put me out of my misery.

>>3090047
>all these idiots doing a fuckton of different LAS websites instead of working together

I left this thread when it was a wasteland.