/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

>>3165323
>ONE SHOT at being a famous artist
>Amazon can't deliver my beginners oil paints until the day after my 25th birthday
FUCK

>Paint a huge fucking scene
>Forget to save regularly
>Photoshop freezes and crashes seconds later
>Work of almost 4 hours: gone

Exercise has nothing to do with it. I dropped around 60 pounds just from cutting all carbs/sugar and sitting on my ass.
However I gained it all back due to anxiety.
>Art is looking shitty.
>Feel stressed and angsty.
>Burn myself up and lose all energy.
>Need stimulants to keep myself awake.
>Stuff self with sugar, caffeine and carbs.
>Get hyperactive for like 2 hours and work like a madman.
>Crash and fall asleep.

>Later commission is finally done.
>Treat myself with junk food as a reward.

It's killing me and I don't know how to stop this pattern.
I keep telling myself that maybe one day I'll be good enough, so I won't feel stressed and over eat. But I'm not sure any artist alive feels good enough.

Or I could cut all stimulants cold turkey, but then the cravings return and I get more angsty and desperate.

The last option is to stop being so self deprecating and be optimistic. I'm the opposite of Dunning Kruger. I feel like everything I do is garbage and fake. I only feel safe when my work is sarcastic and metaironic.

Hanging on 4chan and /ic/ certainly doesn't help. No matter how good I get, someone here is always going to shit on my work (not even Ruan Jia and Kim Jung Gi are not exempt from /ic/'s wrath). Yet on practice my subconscious program is that some day I'll get so good that I won't get criticism. It sounds really stupid now that I have written it.

The opposite happens. The more popular I get the more hate comments I see. Like with a blockbuster movie, the more money it makes the more people try to prove that it doesn't deserves the success.

Art is not an open heart surgery. Nobody dies if I screw up. Therefore being naively optimistic will be more productive on the long run. The most productive artists I know tend to be very positive and not cynical. I guess I'll have to find a way to quit /ic/ for my own health.

>>2444484
DRAW SOMETHING CHALLENGING

WHY THE FUCK ARE HANDS SO DIFFICULT TO DRAW

Everything was going okay-ish till now, but them fucking hands. Every millimetre I make wrong makes the whole drawing look like an alien.

AYYYYYYYY