/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

pray to god you never get put on an anti-psychotic like abilify /ic/

it'sone thing to not be able to draw, but to draw something complete and just feel absolutely nothing afterwards is a hell i would never wish upon any of you.

im stuck doing shit like pic related because i can no longer make real art.

im living with dad who won't let me live here unless i got a shot of 300mg abilify every month.

take away an artists ability to create, the one thing he has, my life has become a meaningless black hole of fear anxiety and anguish.

i have no mouth and i must scream.

i have no hands and i must create.

when i told him "dad i love art more than anything else in this world, more than girls, money or friendship could buy. It makes me feel like a god, and my self esteem and high standards are met when i create a great work of art."

"no thats weird. you're weird boxman. i wish you were normal."

fuck this world. fuck fear and worry.

now in order to cope with the anti-psychotic i've had to resort to shoplifting cough medicine which makes me create. I hate myself so much. I used to be the good guy, what the hell happened? I'll tell you what happened, i had a couple bad trips on drugs and now im labeled forever a "danger to myself"

I feel like alan turing. spending the last precious years of my twenties being chemically castrated.

i repel girls now even. people can see im a mopey mess and thats not attractive.

ill never change. i will always love art more than anything else in this world even if i can't feel it. cherish what you got guys, it really can be taken away in horrifying way.

The next time you get stuck, think of ol' boxman cheering you on by the sidelines. even if its some sucky doodle, dont you dare ever give up. do it for me /ic/, because i can't. GMI