/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

>>3146800
>>3144941
Now to tackle the comic's structure.
There are two major flaws I believe you need to fix, the introduction of Dracula, and the flow in the middle of the comic.

As an introduction to the story and the character of Dracula, we have a little panel of him, and before we get a chance to see him as a threatening, the whole rest of the page is him being killed. This makes him look like a whimp, and that combined with how short his introduction is don’t let much of a build up for the shock of him turning into a little girl.
I get that you just wanted to move on with this part to have the interesting stuff arrive quicker, but this is an important set up that can't be rushed. Even though everybody knows Dracula, you still need to establish your version of Dracula, I would take maybe two pages, show villages burning and shit, and don't forget to introduce his loyal servant Igor.
I go into detail for this part on pic related, your first page has all the structure mistakes that should be addressed, so I don't go much further commenting page by page, and your paneling also gets visibly better as pages progress so maybe you already noticed the things I'm pointing out.

Now, there are a few bumps in the pacing of the story, the abrupt changes in tone and mood of the characters as we get a barrage of jokes and exposition in the middle of the comic are a bit too much, but I think that would be resolved without the huge pause that is the exposition followed by the big Igor page in the middle. Start strong, slow down in the middle and put everything you got in the climax.

I sketched some of the things I suggested before, like turning the first page into two, and I have a few ideas that I think would make this chapter better, but I stopped myself from meddling with your stuff too much, your comic really inspired me to work on something of my own. Good luck in the contest!
(3/3)