/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

I swear I have a good attention span, but I couldn't read even half of OP's post.
It's like it was written in some sort of anti-language for phoneposters.

A truly mesmerizing, magnetic repelling effect.

>9. I only sought art as a career because it makes me feel safe and in control
Nothing wrong with that, a mindless attitude can cause more damage than whatever you were talking previously about you not being a good influence on the world. At the very least it makes you not a net negative.

>10. I turned my backs on those who tried to help me see this sooner
If you regret their lost company, make amends. If you just dislike the feeling, solve your internal regret. It comes more from self-hatred than anything. Once you see yourself as not guilty (I don't mean you were right, just that you didn't do anything wrong), you won't struggle anymore. No one can predict the future, but you can plan from now on.

>11. I let people into my life who were equally narcissistic and afraid
Ok, so you are a woman. Again, armless basketball players. Unless these people are tying you down so you can't draw, then you can draw. And you can also walk away, if that's a big problem. Alternatively, you can help each other to work on yourselves.

>12. You can't expect/force the average individual to have good tastes
Yes. As I said, nuke the 90%, love the 10%.

>13. Artists are generally untrustworthy people
People are. Just assume everyone is telling the truth all the time while not relying on them, so that you may cut them off at any time.

>14. Beauty is a product of suffering
Wrong. Look at how much you're "suffering", yet you seem to believe you can't produce beauty. Beauty comes from experiencing beauty, it just so happens some people try to summon it through art out of desperation when they are in dark places. You can be a healthy individual who just values beauty and outputs it.

>15. My desire to escape from suffering has made my art less beautiful
Your desire to suppress your emotions has. More introspection, less fiddling with the pencil to shut your mind down. Once you've realized something, then you put it on paper.