/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

I feel the same way.

For almost 20 years I thought I enjoyed drawing. I always thought I was good, that my art was going to bring me somewhere. I wanted to tell stories or do concept design.

A couple years ago I realized how bad I was at drawing. No matter how hard I practiced, I didn't seem to be able to improve. It's tiresome, it's a chore, and there doesn't seem to be much reward for so much effort.

I've seen people who have never drawn before, suddenly pick it up and they're far beyond my skill level within months of casual practice. But when I draw figures all day, practice hands and faces and values and so forth, it doesn't get me anywhere. My drawings are still stiff and lifeless and flat and dimensionless.

Some part of me thinks back to childhood for the reason I draw. My parents always ignored me, and drawing something was the only way to get positive attention. Drawing at school got positive attention from classmates.

Now that I'm an adult, I don't matter and since I'm not an absolute prodigy, my art won't get me anywhere, and since I don't enjoy it, I shouldn't even consider it a hobby.

But what am I without art? I've never been a good musician, I've never been a good writer. I've never been intelligent enough to pick up coding or go to school for finer crafts. But I have a driving need to create. What am I supposed to do?