/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

Reposting from >>3819155 since I got no answer.

Latest sketch from my notebook. The girl sitting in front of me had such a beautiful profile that I couldn't but try to capture those lines. Considering I only had a pen, so I only had one try, that my unaware model was moving quite a lot, and that I'm a complete noob that hasn't drawn portraits for the last 2-ish years, I am kind of proud of it. Anyway, I'd love if someone could help me improve pointing out my miggest mistakes.
Don't mind the text on the top, I already had some notes on that page.
The bottom caption is inspired by a song, it says something along the lines of "holy will to live, and sweet Venus of Mascara"

Latest sketch from my notebook. The girl sitting in front of me had such a beautiful profile that I couldn't but try to capture those lines. Considering I only had a pen, so I only had one try, that my unaware model was moving quite a lot, and that I'm a complete noob that hasn't drawn portraits for the last 2-ish years, I am kind of proud of it. Anyway, I'd love if someone could help me improve pointing out my miggest mistakes.
Don't mind the text on the top, I already had some notes on that page.
The bottom caption is inspired by a song, it says something along the lines of "holy will to live, and sweet Venus of Mascara"