/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

>>3974951
I feel like its also about imagination and passion. If you're going into drawing just wanting to be good it makes it hard to get anywhere. The people that do the best usually have a story to tell and a world they want to create.

Don't worry so much anon, just draw and have fun! Oneday you'll be somewhere you want to be but by then you'll still not feel thats enough. This is how art goes and its ok to not improve as fast as others, use it as inspiration instead of a reason you're not good enough.

I don't know how to tell my family that I don't care about my life. They want me to do art as a hobby and get a real job, but they don't understand how little I care about stability and how close I would be to killing myself without art.
Dreaming about making it as an artist is the only thing that keeps me alive, if I got a job I would last maybe a month and then off myself, I am too mentally weak to handle the stress and I have worked way too little, I'm not used to it. I don't have the strength.
I can't do both things and try with art on the side, I have to dedicate one hundred percent of my time to art, I am in my 30s now and I started late, I will never catch up by doing art as a hobby. In 8 years I have two digit followers, I have no real projects under my belt, no job experiences in art. I have only lately reached a point where I can make "good" art and put my vision on paper, but I know very well that being able to pull off a decent piece of artwork is just the beginning. It's very clear to me that I wasted too much time, and no matter how hard I work it will simply take too much time to get anywhere with art. This sort of career takes at least a decade to kick in, I don't have a decade. I will be homeless before I start earning.

I don't know what do do. Every day it's such a huge conflict I can't think straight. I think I have completely, utterly failed at life and I don't want to admit it so I'm slowly destroying myself in front of my family, being a NEET manchild that lives in the walls, working pointlessly all day on art that nobody cares about. Lucidly for the first time, I'm considering killing myself right now to spare them all the pain of seeing me waste away like this. It's clear that I will never go anywhere.
Many years ago I thought "this feels impossible, I'm too old" and I told myself to keep going. I kept going every time I had doubts. I don't really have doubts anymore, I'm not cut for this. But there's really nothing else to do for me.