/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

Just stopped supporting 2 artists on Patreon and let them know on the exit survey.

Fuck this shit, I have no issues with people protesting peacefully but looting and vandalizing has hurt me in the past. Also police is necessary

I think this warrants a new thread because I'm sure that a lot of people on this board experience the same thing as me and hopefully would appreciate any advice given here.
So, let me explain the title. There are many things that I enjoy doing just for the sake of them. Poetry is one of them, as an example. I can do poetry and I'm not frustrated in the process of doing it and I don't care if the finished product is that good, as long as I'm satisfied and happy with it. I also happen to like math, and even when I don't know how to do something, I find the that frustration to be satisfying, and I get a rush of adrenaline when I end up working things out.

Now, what about art? I strive to become a good artist, and I love looking at other's people's art and thinking "damn I wanna do that". However, making art itself is constant frustration and self-hatred. It's not the kind of satisfying frustration, where you're slowly but surely working things out. And even when you end up working something out, you're still not satisfied with the finished result, and you end up hating it anyway. You stop seeing it as a process and you see it as constant failure.

I hope I've explained myself accordingly. Have any of you struggled with this and gotten out of this toxic thought process?

Is it possible to make a living as an oil painter without taking commissions if you are not at a master level?