/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

I'm posting here because it's already fairly negative so I thought it would be better than making a new thread. My issue is not that I get bored or lack understanding, but I struggle with how to connect pieces of information and relate them to my own art. I'm not a good learner even when I make an effort. I typically stop going through courses very early on because it feels unnecessary for what I want to create. I tried watching the introduction to Scott Eaton's digital anatomy course a bit ago because it's suggested sometimes for anatomy. I took notes and fully focus while I watch, but he's making life-accurate sculptures and learning names of muscles that I've never even considered playing a role in the body. It's daunting but more than that, I've never seen that play into the artists I like. When I look at artists I like, one says he didn't study anatomy but instead just broke down body parts into essential shapes.
I know I lack discipline, and not everything's fun, so recently I tried copying through morpho's section on torsos all the way through. I'd do 2-3 pages a day, then try to find a fitting image that had whatever he was teaching in it. Id draw it and construct it like that, then come back later and try to make it from imagination. What happened though was I couldn't even remember what the original image was even only ~40 minutes later. I don't know how to discover a learning method that works for me. I feel really stupid when I see these methods people are able to utilize.
I also think I get paralyzed by all these resources. I see people post things like, "just understand as best as you can, you aren't meant to grind out these exercises" but I forget what I learned very quickly if I do that. I have good productive days if I draw what I like, but it bothers me that I'm struggling to get through these very useful courses and it feels like giving up. I feel like I'm schizo rambling but it creates anguish for me and I draw near-daily.