/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

>read the sticky
What if you can't? I've been getting to that picasso exercise and the six videos after and, my brain just refuses to focus. It wants to see something else on youtube, or it's frustrated at all the terms it doesn't understand, or we're just getting depressed that this as far as I get everytime.

I've been sitting here for three hours, and I'm sure that the big easy answer is just draw, but you guys said I saw it somewhere, that just drawing without the basics is a waste of time but, every attempt to digest the basics is failing for me and I don't know how to sit down and get it into my brain. I have ADHD, I take meds for it, but it's not helping. I have this subconscious lock against improving, and I want to improve? I think? Oh that just goes into a whole big mess of 'what I want' and I don't even know what the fuck I want from art and just asking that feels like ground you've covered and

you get why I've been thinking and cycling my brain on this for a while, just nothing's getting done, and it's frustrating me and that frustration means nothing's getting done and it just loops and loops until it's been three hours and I'm feeling like hurting myself, like the only resolution is to feel pain to resolve this building shame and self-loathing

help, i don't know how but help, I shouldn't be this whipped up over desires to draw cartoons better but gdi here we are fuck is this peak ngmi, i don't think i would want to live if i knew i wasn't even going to be able to make art with my life but fuck I think i can't even do that