/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

>>3710860
I haven't draw in more than 2 weeks, and before that I went a whole year without drawing for many different reasons.
The thing is, everyday I wake up thinking of drawing, but I can't pick up a pencil because I know I would default to things that I've already drawn before, like girls and shit that mean nothing to me.
And If I have under 2 hours window of free time, I prefer not to draw because that's the time it would take me to warm up in my shitty mental condition.

Also, having to take care of another person is a pain in the ass. I've always thought that actions are more important than words, and that if you care for someone you must act accordingly, instead of just deceiving them with words, because all words are deception. But since long I've been thinking that I don't really care for others, and I should just kill myself, because I've been deceiving them anyway, not with words but with actions of kindness. It's like I'm trying my best in this charade, when in fact, I want them dead. I want to end it all. And this is exactly the thing I want to express with art, I know terrible message btw, but I can't do it. I can't start.
Also, I've been stuck in a level just above beg tier for years and I'm not comfortable with it to create something that could be shared. Because if I happen to see something of my level I just ignore it.

>>3206429
Find out for yourself, if you're interested
https://bato.to/comic/_/comics/hana-no-kishi-dakini-r22494