/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

>>6404254
Alright so here's my attempt at the 2nd prompt. I would imagine many or most of you could draw something better looking than this, so I hope this pushes you towards doing it yourselves. Got some notes of my own, but I'd like other comments.

So starting off, I wanted to rectify one of my issues, in which it wasn't really clear where the characters were. Since that was clear, I wanted to immediately establish the Haunted House. I originally tried to draw the whole thing, but that took up too much space to even try to make it readable, so I cut out everything except the top, I think this was a fine decision. The first issue was the door. I was gonna have the door peeping open, then show the inside of the haunted house, cutting to the characters on the 2nd page. I realized that'd leave me with barely any time for the 'plot', so I kept the door, and had the scaring faces.

As I was drawing the 2nd page, it felt obvious to me that I should have scrapped the door, to give more space for the scaring, to show more of the ones being scared, cause cutting straight to the scared faces on the 2nd page seems kind of abrupt, the build-up didn't seem enough for it as it stands.

If that was fixed, I think the top two panels of the 2nd page would be serviceable. As for the third panel on the 2nd page, I originally had all three of the scarers on the same page, to re-establish the fact that there were three of them. But I realized that with the current plan, I would have had almost a repeat looking structure. The vampire girl would have asked the last question in this panel, by the way.

I ended up changing the last panel as well. It was originally two, where the pumpkin head was going to ask who the girl was talking to, and it would cut to a similar looking panel as the current last, just a bit more squeezed. Speaking of that last panel, my lack of ability in perspective showed itself, I feel the idea (that the ghost disappeared) wasn't portrayed well.