/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

>>6200148
ok, warning beforehand it's kind of cringey, corny, cheesy, embarrassing, whatever- yeah. I don't have writing experience but that's why I am here, to get better. I find it difficult to write for the third character especially because she's supposed to be wise and insightful. Silly and childish characters like the protagonist I think I'm more suited at because it is easier for me to self-insert into that personality but it just comes out really cheesy. Any pointers would be cool. I know writing isn't as important in graphic novels (when it comes to sentence structure and literary devices) as it is in prose narrative but I also want to get good enough to write short stories in prose. Still deciding on what hat to give the protagonist. The pacing might be too fast in the beginning for relationship development between the characters but I thought dragging it out would be too annoying and I want to get it done under 200 pages. For composition I noticed a lot of my shots are pretty boring and too similar to each other, only close-ups or midshots. I guess maybe I should have done more shots to include background. I'll try to do that when they get to the exploration and fight scenes.
https://pastebin.com/y5nRneWJ
https://imgur.com/a/7M3sSBv