/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

Ok guys I think this is time for me to take a redpill and do reality check.
I've been learning drawing for 5+ years during my university study (irrelevant meme degree in architecture which I did only to escape from my poor post-soviet country) wanting to become an environment illustrator\concept artist. I've done that for many hours every day, sacrificing my social and personal life. I thought I achieved some level of skill that would make me employable and I could make some living (or at least pay my bills) out of it and enjoy doing what I do.
But as a result, I got nothing.
I am 24 now and nobody replies on my job applications, nobody contacts me when I post on forums that I am available for work, nobody contacts me on Fiverr or other freelance sites. I'm running out of money and soon I will have to go to some McCuck-tier jobs just to pay my bills and food. I am now living in a country where art industry is nearly dead (Australia) and there are only a few jobs in this field here, but they are for lead artists with 10+ years of experience and massive portfolio with AAA stuff in it.
I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me and my art and where I turned the wrong path (maybe when I believed that I could make it). I don't know should I keep trying or just give up and go wagecucking 9-5 and eventually commit sudoku because I have failed myself and my life goals. Or start drawing furry porn, which to me is basically the same. Depression and anxiety eats me.
Just wanted to show to you guys to where this path could lead you. To show that even if you put enormous amount of effort into this skill, it eventually could bring you just to some level of mediocrity. To break this myth of "lol dude just put some hours in it and you'll succeed". To show that you will most likely ngmi unless you have a natural talent or you can afford an expensive art school and learn from professionals. But you don't care and I'm a faggot, I know.

>>3024339
I just want to draw my waifu (no NSFW, im not gonna turn her into some slut cumdump like everyone else apparantly wants treats their waifu)

Im also a lonely 24yr old virgin with no job, friends and no girl will ever like me.

My lack of connection with people is what brought me to drawing, all I wanna do is draw her, im always alone and my brain has become perfectly fine with the thought of settling with 2D for the rest of my life.

Not gonna post my waifu as I would prefer to keep her to myself (Yes im possesive and very protective of her, I dont want someone to drop a rule34 on her)

>tfw no hug

>>2939666
fuckin artistic fags need to die, this baord is for losers only

>>2934394
I get that, but the poses I want to draw don't have any references on google, all I could find as pictures with full frontal bodies and not the kind of perspective I wanted to try out.

Even if I did somehow found some, I would only use them as practice. I believe drawing from references on your original stuff is wrong. The last time I tried drawing from another artist I started to get depressed and felt disgusted by myself and almost ended up cutting my wrist with my wacom pen

>>2716026
i'm having visions of my childhood