/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

I joined sanctioned-suicide a while ago and am planning to end my life. I have a fairly long and pretentious suicide note written out and have even driven out to my selected spot a little ways out of town "ready to go through with it." I reached my destination and just cried and screamed in the car like some retard having a hilariously cringe autistic meltdown alone in the middle of nowhere. I'm not brave enough yet and I have these lingering religious beliefs but I'm hoping I'll work up the nerve eventually. I think the key is to make it impulsive, just when I'm at my worst and when I can't see any hope for the future. My self-preservation instincts are at their worst when I'm tired, over worked, and ultra critical of my shitty art and stupid choices so that's probably the best time. I'm an irredeemable piece of shit that the world left behind a long time ago, I'm the very definition of 'failure to thrive' so nothing of value will be lost with my absence.

It's nothing but regret all the way back to the moment I became conscious of this stupid body and mind. I can't see a purpose to any of this. even the artists I used to look up to I see for what they are: the casteless and unwanted degenerates ancient cultures would've just thrown to the wolves, the weak men and retards and shiteaters and faggots with untreatable mental disorders enabled by the well intentioned idiots of the modern world. All we do is wallow pathetically in our own self importance at the margins of society, justifying our little compulsive scribblings and time wasting nonsense as some sacred spiritual MANIFESTATION OF GOD, or some service to "beauty" when it's all just more make believe bullshit in service of nothing. Self-obsessed navel gazers, insufferable autists, pure fucking garbage born destined for the fire. Artists have contributed nothing to the world.

Fuck this planet. Fuck this board. Fuck this species. Fuck art. Fuck consciousness fuck beauty, fuck weed and hentai, and fuck you.