/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

Hi. Almost complete beginner here.

I want to get better at gesture drawing. I know what it is. I know what a good one entails. But somehow, every time I pick up the pencil and start getting the "rhythm" of the figure I eventually find that I'm still obsessing over the contour and the result is unsatisfactory. It's gotten to the point where I'm terrified of doing gesture drawing sessions because I understand that after developing "bad habits", they're very hard to unlearn. What can I do to improve my sense of gesture? Picture very related.

Also, I only recently started to use the "sketching grip". It feels so alien to me, and I feel like I have no control. Do you naturally get used to it over time, or is there something I'm missing.