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>> No.78728573

I hate myself and I want to die.

And yes, I am serious.

>> No.78728585

I'm transsexual and I love black dicks

>> No.78728595

I hate niggers.

>> No.78728602


i have a job

>> No.78728608

I'm actually gainfully employed writing Vala code.

>> No.78728618

6502 Assembler
I quit the games industry before it become massive

>> No.78728623

so that's why elementary OS is shit

>> No.78728649


That's the only language I know

>> No.78728656
File: 48 KB, 575x718, 1579336262940.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

i had a bounty set on me before

>> No.78728708

I'm a genius.

>> No.78728720


>> No.78728758

>your favorite programming language
None. C is fun for small stuff, TypeScript is pretty nice, Kotlin too but >JVM, Zig is interesting. I'm thinking about making my own language
>one interesting fact about you
I have a repo on GitHub with over 200 stars. Is that interesting?

>> No.78728762

I'm black

>> No.78728765
File: 537 KB, 436x798, 5d7fe77fc35be.jpg.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Me gusta hispanish, mostly.
also i can draw stomach muscles real good and sometimes a helmet real good, too.

>> No.78728791

is elementary OS shit though?

>> No.78728806

When I was 11 I slapped my penis across the forehead of a female classmate

>> No.78728817

Actionscript 3.0

I fuck a rubber ass

>> No.78728866

I've wanted to die for nine years.

>> No.78728893

It was in gym class and was an accident, and I was officially delegated to the uncool kids group after that because no one was yet at that age where sex and penises and girls was cool.

>> No.78728896

I suck dick regularly

>> No.78729144

I'm a furfag

>> No.78729168
File: 1.63 MB, 360x270, cacklingskeleton.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I'm very grateful that my girlfriend is willing to listen to me talk about coding even if she doesn't understand it.

>> No.78729174

i hate computers

>> No.78729230

I started programming when I was 8yo

>> No.78729341

I'm not racist

>> No.78729342

Give that man his weight in silver. Gold when he debugs cobol.

>> No.78729354

I work in trains. Trains is a hard job, sometimes death threats but never rape

>> No.78729369

equal oportunity DEADBEEF

>> No.78729395

911 was vyth fdsfasfhsao
Segmentation fault

>> No.78729420

I learnt how to pick locks when i was 12 because in my autistic mind if girls liked bad boys, and bad boys were criminals, and criminals broke into places, and breaking into places sometimes involves lockpicking, then learning how to open padlocks would automatically make me attractive. It didnt work but now Im better than almost everyone at opening locks, probably top50 or 100, if you were to make an objective skill ranking somehow.

>> No.78729422

does anyone here work with brainfuck ? Send us your CV. and your github projects.

>> No.78729437

no core dumps ?

>> No.78729457
File: 189 KB, 640x480, terry inquisitor.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


I speak to God

>> No.78729485

I dont think I actually like computers or programming. I just liked videogames and this looked like a good career path at the time. I think I would be happier working on something else but with the current job market one cant just switch careers mid-life.

>> No.78729493

that pic resolution tho.

>> No.78729495


>> No.78729542

Outsourced Pajeet.

>> No.78729544

cobol offers job safety in any market and economic scale.

>> No.78729585

>I think the only thing that the unabomber did wrong was get caught.

>> No.78729604

I poo in the loo

>> No.78729608

I dropped out of HS

>> No.78729616

You only had to write 'Rust'

>> No.78729618

Seems about right.

>> No.78729626

I've done one pull up at 75kg while placing a 11kg barbell on each of my foot.

>> No.78729655

Ever tried Julia ?

>> No.78729668

>objective c
>shes a tomato!!!

>> No.78729737

I cook a mean fuckin chili

>> No.78729758

whatever rocks your boat. Want some solid argument start learning one or the other. Cant handle both.

>> No.78729871

I'm not a programmer. I am a biochemist that happens to use R for his statistics works.

>> No.78729889

I'm a 26 khhv virgin

>> No.78729905


I'm an incel

>> No.78730109

I can't see my dick anymore

>> No.78730117

Apple Swift, ARM-only branch
Not only I like, but I also produce live-action anal vore

>> No.78730121

I've quit a job day 1 when adding a new button to the companay's java app literally involved 17 classes and 4 layers of abstraction.

>> No.78730187

My earlobes are not attached

>> No.78730298

I'm too smart for this world

>> No.78730330

My first language was Batch in cmd.exe when I was 8. Second one was assembly, coz python was too hard and I didn't understand functions.

>> No.78730454

No transition, just transfats

>> No.78730485

>Second one was assembly, coz python was too hard and I didn't understand functions

>> No.78730828

greentext the story

>> No.78730905

This but Python because I am newfag into programming

>> No.78731067

>my name is Dennis Ritchie and my favorite operating system is Windows

>> No.78731116

I have really large penis, like 10", and I am not a virgin

>> No.78731136

I want to die but I'm in love with myself.

>> No.78731199

i have schizoaffective disorder

>> No.78731277

>i have schizoaffective disorder
are you the one responsible for the haskell libraries?

>> No.78731689

Most people are instinctively repulsed by my mere appearance and treat me like dogshit while they're being nice to everyone else and I have no idea why. Then there are and people who think I'm adorable because I always end up saying weird or straight up absolutely retarded things like little kids usually do and they treat me like an oversized baby while laughing and teasing me.

>> No.78731782

Im a highschool dropout.

>> No.78731787
File: 140 KB, 831x1024, 1605027826322.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I like gay furry porn

>> No.78731852

sounds about right.

>> No.78731892

why is this funny to you?
also having sexual fantasies about being a girl is not the same as being transgender

>> No.78732001

>I haven't written a line of Haskell in over 6 months

>> No.78732038

He's lmao'ing at (You)r life

>> No.78732068
File: 117 KB, 1024x768, Arthur_Schopenhauer_1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Read sum pic related, nigga
it changed my view on life

Not mandatory, but recommended to read Kant first.

>> No.78732157

>17 classes
>for a button
kudos on you though for protecting your sanity,companies need to realize that candidates need to be at least 18 years of age and have the ability to pass fizzbuzz

>> No.78732174


>> No.78732204
File: 125 KB, 1438x1415, 1453503108453.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

literally learned programming VB6 with a dummy book.
now I'm working as an elixir + phoenix backend dev

>> No.78732376

You will never be a programmer

>> No.78732464

no interface implementation?

>> No.78732518

"The world as will and representation", good luck, anon

>> No.78732713

I have four sisters and two half-sisters.

>> No.78732747

haha, did you saw them naked?

>> No.78732785

Of course I have. Siblings and no lesbo.

>> No.78732817

No one cares if you're black. Just don't be a nigger.

>> No.78732924

I'm an atheist

>> No.78732932

Came here to post this

>> No.78732933

lol oh wow we have a big manly man full of testosterone over here, watch out

>> No.78732976

Tips on how?

>> No.78732985


I'm a very good listener.

>> No.78733006

Sometimes companies require you to things in a tedious way despite their being a faster method

>> No.78733021

but C++ is in such high dema-
just playing. you could always pick javascript

>> No.78733055


>> No.78733067

I don't see the point of living. Life is a slog. I don't look forward to anything.
If I become a wage slave after university, I am killing myself.

>> No.78733070


>> No.78733077

How did it went?

>> No.78733083

>I am killing myself.
take someone bad people with you

>> No.78733084

Visual Basic, I love working on Excel.
I never had friends in my whole life, but somehow I managed to found a family.

>> No.78733112

Distrosuck this knob

>> No.78734315


>> No.78734713


>> No.78734728

Severe obsessive compulsive disorder

>> No.78734770

I make art for a living.

>> No.78734808

Never been in debt, no family support since 17, college grad/on

>> No.78734949

Interesting. Thanks for the info anon.

>> No.78735443

Not being able to afford quick and sure solutions, or otherwise missing such chances. Failure is pretty scary, so I keep not trying at all.
>wanna talk about it?
Sure: I love KornShell!
>currently converting my shell scripts that way
Interesting: how has that been so far?

>> No.78735658

I've never had alcohol or recreational drugs

>> No.78735961

bad b8

>> No.78735985


>> No.78736028

I make more money moonlighting as a furry artist than I do from my electrical engineering job

>> No.78736351

Did u ever finish your indie NES game?

>> No.78736478

I'm a grad student living in Tokyo.

>> No.78736596

I'm not Japanese, but I'm not really an "exchange student" since I'm in the same PhD program as everyone else as opposed to visiting researchers or whatever that are on a specific exchange program. It's the same as people from Europe going to grad school in America.

>> No.78736729


>> No.78736753

Cool story, but post favourite programming language

>> No.78736767

>imm fucking drunk

>> No.78736814

Common Lisp
I was a meth dealer for about 3 years.

>> No.78736855

>I regularly go to sleep between 2 and 4am and wake up at 8 the next morning.
I make up for it by sleeping in on the weekends, but I just stay up late.
I'm trying to fix it, but failing.
That said, I'm not depressed or anything, have a great circle of friends and love life, but am a virgin and no gf which feels kinda bad, but if I applied myself, I'd be ok getting one.

>> No.78736861

>and love life, but am a virgin and no gf

>> No.78736864

I like anime feet more than pussy

>> No.78736869


>> No.78736919

Oh, you meant that you love life, not that you have a great love life.

>> No.78737210

>Your favorite programming language
>One interesting fact about you
My favorite programming language is C++

>> No.78737426

I only eat fruit if it's underripe and sour tasting.

>> No.78737443

how can a man be so based

>> No.78737467

I play pool at gay clubs

>> No.78737473

It's shit because the devs tried to make a MacOS clone.

>> No.78737822

When i was younger, i would spray window cleaner on the head of my dick and fap with the burning sensation on it. The fact that i dont have dick blisters or any other kind of chemical burns on my dick made me turn to Jesus

>> No.78737850

>I have a foot fetish

>> No.78737870

I had a near-death experience 7 years ago which convinced me that God is real.

>> No.78737969

I am a Nazi

>> No.78737976

I dropped chemistry for programming meme. I regret nothing. Either way I can't find a job and live with parents. Fuck this reality, fuck hedonism and nepotism. I just want to be good at something.

>> No.78738163
File: 57 KB, 225x212, 1604080674302.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>I got a job at one of the more prestigious software consulting companies, despite saying I get most of my programming knowledge from 4chen.

>> No.78738246

rookie numbers

>> No.78738269

most based post ITT

>> No.78738289

I wear pink striped knee socks

>> No.78738420

Let me fuck you with my BWC.

>> No.78738445

as of today its rust, im writing a roguelike in it and I've never had this much fun programming.
fun fact: im straight and have a girlfriend but im breaking up with her because she's a manipulative skank

>> No.78738505

what was it?

>> No.78738519

They were right to do so. Hide your power level you fucks.

>> No.78738545


The police forced me to play Jesus.

>> No.78738613

>I dont see sharp, I wear glasses

>> No.78738636

I love black tiny womans.

>> No.78738651


>> No.78738697

I do archery

>> No.78738966


>> No.78739023
File: 271 KB, 512x650, sb.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I started programming 30 years ago

>> No.78739025
File: 49 KB, 720x695, 2346324623.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>>your favorite programming language
I'm a newfag into programming so I have only experience with Python, C# and Java (java being my most comfortable right now). My favorite of those would be C#.
C++ seems megabased though, so I'm going to pick it up later on
>>one interesting fact about you
Despite being an absolute loser of a human being, I haven't given up yet

>> No.78739051

I am gay

>> No.78739070

GCC89 and holy C/assm. if You dumb idiots arefollowing the advice and listening to the first video on how to program on yt. Your a slave to the niggers

>> No.78739105

>my job thinks i am black and would fire me if i revealed i was jewish

>> No.78739106


I am addicted to amphetamines and have trouble achieving orgasm without mentally degrading my wife and talking to her like she's a worthless retard.

>> No.78739121

I sleep upright in a chair

>> No.78739260

I've never had a gf

>> No.78739502
File: 364 KB, 800x850, 1605291176519.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I am good at nothing. This is not an exaggeration, I am not well versed in anything, I am terrible at everything. I am certain my IQ is significantly below average, and I lack the skill of logical and rational thinking, which can be seen from my incompetence in mathematics. I frequently act on impulse rather than reason. If I try anything, I will always fail. Try as I might, I cannot truly draw an objective and unbiased conclusion on any matter. As such, I genuinely believe I am a waste of resources that would ideally be swiftly disposed of, but moral standards dictate that I must be kept alive.

>> No.78739656

>I once tried to pick up girls in a psychiatric ward
>The first two turned out to be a little fucked in the head
What gives?

>> No.78739713


>> No.78739750

The only tip is "practice more". Anyone that says otherwise is trying to sell you something.
I dont know where you're at with lockpicking so im just gonna type some generic advice.
Do keep in mind 90% of the locks you can buy are dogshit so if you really wanna get better you need to get higher tier locks, and those are expensive. Lockpicking as a hobby is one of the most expensive there is, good locks are 100$+ a piece. Top of the line locks are 250-300 bucks.
Technically and ideally you can single-pin pick almost every single conventional lock with a hook and a tensor. People that go on lockpicking forums can SPP most locks so they end up not using 80% of their lockpick sets and they'll tell you to buy individual lockpicks instead of full sets because thats what works for them. This is terrible advice. If you're starting you need to learn whats good for you and having more tools means opening more locks. Dont be afraid to buy kits if you think they're gonna be good for you. Peterson is good for both single picks and sets. Dangerfield sells a kit called praxis that has a lot of clutter but its also very good and can open narrower euro locks. Madbob used to make some "speedpicking" 5-piece sets that were actually really good to have on you. Lockpicks you make yourself are usually better that the ones you buy online because you know what works for you.
A bogota opens almost any lock very very easily. Its not "real lockpicking" but raking will open most locks so there's that.
The only set you need for dimple picking is the one Honest makes. Everything else is inferior and usually pricier for some reason.
You can make cool no-slip handles with shrinking tube, it also stops your hands from smelling like copper if you use shitty banggood picks.

Really just practice. Get a vise, get a bucket full of locks, put an audiobook or something in the background and go at it 6-8 hours a day every day for 20 years.

>> No.78739792

Is it really like the Oblivion minigame.

>> No.78739808


>> No.78739928
File: 129 KB, 850x636, boku-zaregato.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Same feeling, i really am uncertain of what i want to do with my life. I switched to programming in my 20s and i feel really burned out just from living. I'm too miserable at math, i just couldn't care more about it in elementary/high... and my parents didn't give a shit either. My memory is really bad, I forget most of concepts i learn. Sometimes I help my younger sister (4th grade) solve math questions and I get stuck on some of them, imagine what's my iq. I don't think any amount of practice will help me. If im forced to be a wagecuck I will just kill myself.

"Nothing really matters to me. The world will only turn out as it will, and if it won't, that has nothing to do with me, and if it does, I'm not interested. I've never wanted to become someone, and I've never felt like there was something I had to do. Sometimes I wonder if that's okay, but in the end, that doesn't matter to me either."

>> No.78740741
File: 101 KB, 1200x751, carriers.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

what about careers?

>> No.78740891

> >your favorite programming language
> >one interesting fact about you
Lost my virginity in a FFM threesome

>> No.78740963

Decent OHP. Shit taste in anime. Having any pepe edits also makes you a retard.

>> No.78740973

One of the splinter cells and oblivion have the most realistic lockpicking you can get in a game without it being annoying as fuck as a mechanic, yes. I heard Thief was good too but I never played it.

>> No.78741000

I know how to pick old locks with hairpins but I heard from a friend that modern locks (the ones with round keys) are impossible to pick, is this true?

>> No.78741086

I'm a mentalcel, and I cope by tricking my brain into thinking I'm gay, so that I can latch onto a sense of hope that my loneliness will be quenched by getting an epic cuteboy bf.

>> No.78741144

I've got a 9.5 inch cock

>> No.78741166

I'm gonna cheat. on my. gf so I can break up with her. Because I've tried to break up with her before but our co-dependence doesn't make it easy.

>> No.78741186

Common Lisp
I'm a communist

>> No.78741307

The ones that look like a small tube or a crown that you see on parking doors?
You can pick those too. You'd usually use a tubular lockpick and they'd be open in a second, but you can use hook and tensor too.
A lock has a key of some sort. If you can simulate that key you can open the lock without the key, literally all locks are pickable by definition. Some locks try to make it harder but if it can be opened then it can be picked open.

>> No.78741836

Alcohol addiction

>> No.78742162

Lua aswell, I hate niggers and muslim.
We should be friends.

>> No.78742239

Common Lisp
Sometimes my arms bend back

>> No.78742249

I am a node shitter.

It has a big attack surface, and almost every cloud environment supports node.

>> No.78742251

>ive been in a ffm treesome

>> No.78742254

likes(anon, prolog).

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