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/g/ - Technology


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67381293 No.67381293 [Reply] [Original] [archived.moe] [rbt]

Ok /g/, here's an idea.
Remember that shit with the microwave charging and waterproof iphones?
>we gotta do it again
We need to trick the normalfags into thinking that the Iphone XS can do shit it definitely cannot.

>> No.67381308
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67381308

>>67381293
>make shitty meme image that no one believes
>engage in circlejerking about how clever everyone in the thread is

>> No.67381323

>>67381308
reddit is simply 4chan with mandatory namefagging
deal with it faggot

>> No.67381331

>>67381308
At least one appletard has microwaved his phone because of /g/

>> No.67381332

Charge your iPhone XS within seconds with this weird hidden trick; Simply bridge the wall adapter by plugging your usb cord directly into the socket!

>> No.67382016
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67382016

>>67381293
heres a shit 2 minute concept

>> No.67382059

>>67382016
nobody is that stupid

>> No.67382069
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67382069

>>67382059
>nobody is that stupid

>> No.67382081

>>67381293
reddit is down and /g/ is fucked

>> No.67384142

>>67382016
3D Anon here, I actually like that idea and want to make a realistic looking advert for that. Gonna go and model a Xs and put together something like that. Wish me luck

>> No.67384194

>>67384142
Gonna be posting updates both here and on my discrap server.
>discrap.gg/HKxJse9
Come on Anons, we have to do this again

>> No.67384267

>>67381323
Goodbait.png

>> No.67384276

>>67382059
>nobody is that stupid
Anon, I..

>> No.67384557
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67384557

3D anon here again, with the first update
>it begins
I'm already smiling like an idiot

>> No.67384635
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67384635

>> No.67385038
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67385038

>> No.67385197
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67385197

>>67385038
I believe in you 3D Anon. Thank you for sharing your progress. I am thankful.

>> No.67385209
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67385209

>>67385197
Join my discrap, I'm posting updates frequently there, anon.

>> No.67385221

>/g/ can design an iPhone from scratch in under an hour
Autism is magic.

>> No.67385222

Why do you faggot /b/tards always use the quote function like that? What do you even think it means? Do you just like the funky green colour it gives your text. Seriously, kid, just head straight the fuck back to /b/. I beat you use Windows, too. You make me sick.

>> No.67385235

>>67385038
Instead of saying users will be rewarded with special emojis, you should put some BS about how it causes the electrons to align or something, slightly charging the battery. And the higher the drop, the more charge you get

>> No.67385248

>>67385222
Not your safe space.
>>>/r/eddit

>> No.67385257

>>67385248
Not your board.
>>>/b/

>> No.67385266

>>67385209
Where is it?

>> No.67385270

>>67385266
>>discrap.gg/HKxJse9

>> No.67385275

>>67385257
>>67381308
>t. SEETHING itoddler

>> No.67385295
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67385295

Incase any of you wanted to see what my autism powers can accomplish, here you go
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrqlyZOHHHw

>> No.67385301

>>67385235
or rather than that, say that slamming a dead iphone really hard into another iphone (as in screen to screen flush contact) will split the charge and charge the dead one's battery. That way you get some idiot to break 2 iphones and potentially ruin friendships because one of them broke the other's phone.

>> No.67385308

>>67385301
YES
Definitely including this

>> No.67385314

>>67385275
epic buzzwords now back to your containment board

>> No.67385325

>>67385308
that's bad come on no one is that stupid
>>67385235
this one sounds at least a bit legitimate

>> No.67385343
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67385343

Holy shit...

>> No.67385403

Maybe we can do something with wireless charging?

>> No.67385423

>>67385403
put on your stoves plate for heat charging
too similiar i guess

>> No.67385435
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67385435

>> No.67385523
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67385523

In case thread goes rekt, join the discrap

>> No.67385896
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67385896

Slowly, it evolves

>> No.67385909
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67385909

>>67381293
>hey guys here's a great idea, how about we come up with a good idea?

>> No.67385937
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67385937

...Maybe not slowly, very fast actually.

>> No.67385958

Some sort of kinetic charging
Tap it on your desk or shake it to charge
Maybe convince people that you can get extra battery be smacking it against something to force the battery juices towards the recover. Use some awful fuel tank, measurement analogy.

Something akin to rocket fuel being pushed towards the engine could be done well with some super faggy modern ad

>> No.67386114

>"In response to samsung's exploding batteries, Apple is pushing out a new way to keep your battery from overheating. We call it 'Manual Liquid cooling'. This method is done by placing a charging iphone inside liquid. The Thermal panels on the outside allow heat to transfer form the inside components into the water surrounding it. We hope to keep charging iphones from overheating with this new method"

>> No.67386133

>>67386114
this is good

>> No.67386135

poke holes into your battery to prevent it from overheating

>> No.67386163

>>67386114
>Manual Liquid Cooling
kek
Does Apple EVER reference PC? Would “Technology from high-end/enthusiast PCs comes to iPhone” sound too fishy? Especially given that you can’t even legally build your own mac.

>> No.67386209

>>67385958
didn't work the last time
>>67386114
getting there

>> No.67386231

>>67386114
i don't think this sounds real enough to work
apple doesn't acknowledge their competitor's failures
plus samsung batteries have exploded for a while now

>> No.67386243

Tell em to fill their lightning port with something for extra waterproofing, glue or something, or let them throw their phones in a tub of water and sand with the SIM slot open

>> No.67386369

just brainstorming here

>spinning engergy
[insert adversary text]
might scratch some users back, but won't kill phones.

>heat energy
[insert adversary text]
use a lighters flame for burn marks> bonus points for making it on the display (if it doesn't recover; kudos to jerryrigseverything)

>> No.67386404

There is now an sd card slot hidden in 'X' component. Get to it by prying it open with a screwdriver

>> No.67386581

new hidden feature: unbreakable screen [outdoor screen]
(refinemt needed, just a crude direction giving text following) Due to our behind the screen technology which adds a buffer before pressure to the screen is exposed, the screen is virtually indestructable. the mechanic allows the screen to "get pushed in". Additionally we use the new Hardened Retina™ Display to prevent the hardest of materials to create any dents.
try it by smashing a hammer on it!

>> No.67386632
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67386632

Made it as a wallpaper, 1920x1080

>> No.67386706

>>67386632
why would i use this as wallpaper?
good skills, but still a shitty ugly product.

>> No.67386736

>>67385209
Good job anon, looks great

>> No.67386748

>>67382059
do you ever go out?

>> No.67386795

>>67386114
Sounds good. Maybe drop the Samsung part. Also, droo the 'we hope'. Apple never hopes, they're always convincing with their statements.

>> No.67386962

The kinetic charging thing sounds stupid enough to work, but needs proper embellishment. Spout some Genius Bar jargon about the latest update and call it "AppleCharge" or "FitMove" or something that strikes the proper balance between onions, the future, and corporate talk.

Then make the analogy to a self-winding watch to explain how it works and tell the normies that the phone charges itself perpetually as you move. Hype it up as a hidden feature. "But did you know that in an emergency you can even jump-start the battery? Slam it against a desk or hard object. This won't damage the shatterproof screen- but should supply you just enough juice to send a text or make an important phone call."

Use bubbly non-threatening emojis, some synth tune background music, and solid color display washes for the bg to explain the features. Shill it up as a BrightSide style youtube clickbait video that normies watch to feel smart.

>> No.67387085

Say they can stand on their phone and say "Hey siri, how much do I weigh?"

>> No.67387089

Following on with what thr other anon said, some shit along the lines of

>Ever finding you're needing to send that special someone a cute photo on social media, but are low on battery? Posting that last Tweet? Browsing for that final piece of clothing for your glamorous outfit?
>With our innovative new technology, [some gay applel-tier shit name], you'll never find yourself in that situation.
>Be careful not to overuse this style of charging, however. We are always pioneering innovative technologies, yet with this ground-breaking style of charging, we are still working out all the kinks.

>> No.67387244

>>67387085
This could probably be more suited to the new iPad.
Some shit about god-tier build quality, and you could probably unironically fool somebody into standing on their shiny new tablet.

>> No.67387251

>>67386962
I like this. How about hitting you iphone's screen with another iphone's edge/corner?

'This way, the new kathode (whatever) battery discharges some electrons onto another battery. This technology is so simple, yet so powerful, because it allows people to, quite literally, share energy'

>> No.67387296
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67387296

>>67385301
>>67385423
>>67385958
>>67386114
>>67386962
>>67387085
>>67387251
Making an Apple styled 1 minute long advert in a few days, everything I just listed will likely be in there.
This is my final post before I sleep, I hope to see you all soon, anons.
>it's happening.

>> No.67387723

>>67381293

Regenerative glass. Trick them into making huge scratches.

>> No.67387773

>>67387089
Apple marketing is nothing like this and you didn't even say what the trick method is. Try again once you grow your mental capabilities beyond parroting things you read on the internet.

>> No.67388376

>>67382059
well they did buy an iPhone so...

>> No.67388380

Daily reminder that /g/ can't program

>> No.67390132

New Apple invincible and waterproof IP68 case gets the whole new feature of charging the battery by creating miniature microfusions.

How does it work:
(somebody should write some gibberish about semi-conductors)

>> No.67390181

>>67390132
Ok,

As the iPhone is being fully submerged into a water, our new patented semiconductor fabric surrounding the case gets to use the energy from the microwaves in the water and make it a usable energy that can power your battery..

>> No.67390191

>>67381293
4cham is muh skrit club

>> No.67390209

Think different, put your phone into a water.

>> No.67390502

>>67381293
"Siri, how do I join IS*S?" will trigger a new easter egg developed by Steve Jobs a fews day before he died.

>> No.67390638

Aren't all flagships waterproof now?

>> No.67391301

>>67390638
yeah, most are actually waterproof (including iphones)

>>67390181
>>67390209
>>67390132

>>
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