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61416918 No.61416918 [Reply] [Original] [archived.moe] [rbt]

What will you do when you get your robot girlfriend?

Things I will do:
>Have her cook and clean for me
>Have her read books for me out loud
>play music for me on musical instruments

>Do my laundry
>Write computer programs for me

>Do gardening
>Take care of my various pets
>post and shill on 4chan on my behalf while I am sleeping
>Clean my vehicle

>reformat all my computers for me / install arch / gentoo for me while I am away


>collect the choicest meme images on the internet for me so I have a nice folder full of prime memes
>photoshop new memes for me and other photoshop duties
>remember things for me since she has perfect recall
>Be my bodyguard
>be my personal fitness trainer
>be my pillow/warmer and love making partner
>Do my taxes
>Drive my car for me if there are not already self driving taxis
>Teach me foreign languages
>I'll hand her stuff I don't want to read and have her memorize it real fast so I can ask her later
>Instead of printing things I will have her hand write them from my words

>Have her amuse me such as singing, juggling, or writing poetry

>> No.61416937

body guard, provided i upgraded her with the hidden razers package.

>> No.61416983

>>61416937
>tfw razors pop out when robowaifu climaxes during sexy time

>> No.61417091

>>61416983
Hot.

>> No.61417282

>>61416918
great thread anon; you've pretty much covered so much good things I dont know what to add

I think she could motivate me with my hobbies and share interests with me as well; and help cultivate myself

>> No.61418066

Take over the world muhahahaha

>> No.61418074

>>61416918
Sounds like you want a robot mom and not a robot gf.

>> No.61418079

>>61416918
>>Write computer programs for me
if computers get this fast, we're fucked

I'm happy with a clumsy loli robot who struggles to cook and clean

>> No.61418235

upload my mind into an identical copy of her body

>> No.61418306
File: 113 KB, 850x1176, 28fe8a150ac014c981e397ace6caf91f (2).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
61418306

>Snuggle her
>Give her resources do to whatever she wants to do
>Moar snuggling
>Feed her pudding
>Let her follow her passions
Altho some of the shit OP's listed is an interesting take, not just a chorebot, but a more or less human replacement for so many things
>Human iPod
>Human printer
>Tutor

>> No.61418528

>>61418079
Now imagine what OP said, but all done by the clumsy loli bot
>Have her cook and clean for me
A-anon, the vacuum's too heavy for me, c-can you please just buy me a roomba?
Y-you sold yours to buy me? NO! PLEASE DON'T TAKE ME BACK I'M SORRY I'LL PULL ALONG THE VACUUM CLEANER OH GOD SORRY
>Have her read books for me out loud
I-i don't love you. I've never loved anyone.
I wanted you from the first moment I saw you. I wanted you as one wants a whore—for the same r-reason and p-purpose
ANON WHY ARE YOU READING THIS
>play music for me on musical instruments
>Fumbles on her piano
OH GOD I'M SO SORRY
>FUcks up again
SORRY ANON I KNOW I'M GARBAGE

>Do my laundry
>She disappears for ages, look all over for her, distraught
>Eventually remember she was going to do the washing
>Look at security cameras, she was trying to throw a sock into the machine after she already started a load, overbalanced and fell in
>Look in the machine, she's smashed to shit but still shivering inside
>Dry her out, order her a new frame
>There goes my next paycheck

>Write computer programs for me
>BUT IF I'M PASSING THE VARIABLE WHY DO I HAVE TO WRITE IT BACK OUT AGAIN
>YOU'RE JUST COPYING TO THE STACK, YOU NEED TO PASS A POINTER YOU LAZY SHIT

>Do gardening
>Gets ran over by lawn mower

>Take care of my various pets
>Get dragged along by dog

>post and shill on 4chan on my behalf while I am sleeping
>Can't complete captcha

>> No.61418543

>>61418528

>Clean my vehicle
>Can't reach windscreen, stands on bonnet and scratches everything

>reformat all my computers for me / install arch / gentoo for me while I am away
>She forgets which machine she's ssh'd into and wipes your prod server

>collect the choicest meme images on the internet for me so I have a nice folder full of prime memes
>She's just a memeslut who spends all her time on KYM

>photoshop new memes for me and other photoshop duties
>It's all duur plant shit or something so dank it's literally beyond human understanding

>remember things for me since she has perfect recall
>Actually doesn't and keeps fucking up all your meeting

>Be my bodyguard
>YOU BETTER GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY ONIICHAN NIGGA

>be my personal fitness trainer
>COME ON FOR FUCK SAKE, CAN'T EVEN DO 30 PUSHUPS YOU LITTLE SHIT? HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO FUCK ME WITH MUSCLES LIKE THAT

>be my pillow/warmer and love making partner
>She casually sucks you off while you watch hentai

>Do my taxes
>Gets fucked for tax fraud

>Drive my car for me if there are not already self driving taxis
>She's a shit driver

>Teach me foreign languages
>Please install language pack 4 of 5

>I'll hand her stuff I don't want to read and have her memorize it real fast so I can ask her later
>FUCK ANON HELP ME WITH THIS BOOK I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING

>Instead of printing things I will have her hand write them from my words
>She ends up just scribbling dicks on paper

>Have her amuse me such as singing, juggling, or writing poetry
>She just screams "WHAT IS LOVE" at the top of her lungs and you

>> No.61418596

>>61418543
c-cute

>> No.61418623

Live together.

>> No.61418648

>>61416918
Your post made me realize my biggest issue with having a robot gf. She'd be too good at everything. I want someone who knows the pain and struggle of working to improve at something. For example, if I wanted to play Smash Bros with her, she'd probably just analyze my playstyle and be unbeatable after a match or two. Without human error, I can't get any better.

>> No.61418650

>>61416918
I just want someone play game with me

>> No.61418657

>>61418074
mommy gf master race

>> No.61418663
File: 346 KB, 836x1200, b79055f3f95a061dc64c5d6ccb108a83.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
61418663

Furiously ream out my throat and sphincter every night then kiss me, say "I love you babe" and fall asleep on top of me, snoring loudly with me pinned under her weight until morning

>> No.61418664

>>61418074
unless your mom loves you a lot, you have to found a different female to take care of you after a certain age. that's what a wife is for

>> No.61418692

>>61418596
fuck off ruka you god damned nigger

>> No.61418795 [DELETED] 
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61418795

I like how you think OP. Too many people are just focused on "I want le robo gf so I could FUG her".

For me the most important thing is this: a robot would care for you when you are old. It would not be grossed out from wiping your butt and you would not feel embarassed by it. Robots in general would be great at caring for the sick. They would work almost 24/7 without fatigue and they don't need to worry about getting sick from patients.

The main problem is that it's waaaaay easier to dream these scenarios up than make them a reality. Won't sadly happen in our livetimes I'm pretty sure.

>> No.61418873
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61418873

>>61418795
Toyota just dedicated another $1 billion to elderly assistance robots in April, they expect it to become a larger sector than the automobile industry in Japan within the next 20 years.

>> No.61418888
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61418888

>>61418795
there is no way to make human sized frame to work properly at least for 4 hours a day at reasonable power output is the main problem
AI is secondary and will be solved in next decade

FUG robots already a thing

>> No.61419318

>>61416918
Well, with luck, rabid feminist women aren't going to storm my house and break my robo loli gf. Maybe she can kill the feminists if I give her a gun. Otherwise, most of the above in this thread, really.

>> No.61419369
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61419369

>>61416918
Play MMORPGs together, cuddle, stuff like that.

>> No.61419394
File: 742 KB, 1392x2352, 1487149770156.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
61419394

>>61416918
>you will never have a qt robot girlfriend
why struggle

>> No.61419526
File: 874 KB, 1280x960, 2013-04-30-575791.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
61419526

>>61419394
Maybe not a robot gf but a holographic gf can happen anytime now, there's a technology based on how lightnings work that can generate very accurate 3d holograms, not 3d projections like the holograms that we know now but real light with depth on the X, Y and Z axis:
https://duckduckgo.com/html/?q=Fairy%20Lights%20Femtosecond

Maybe even vr waifu. Watch this DARPA speech till the end, I cried a little:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjac3RBoK1c

I wish I could work at DARPA, even for free, testing their stuff or something like that.

>> No.61419541

>>61419526
>holographic
I can't cuddle with a hologram

>> No.61419573

>>61419541
oh but you can, those femtoseconds holograms can be touched, it's still far from final product but it will get there eventually, definitely.

>> No.61419719

>>61418664
>not taking care of yourself rather than relying on someone else that fucks Tyrone behind your back and would leave you in an instant for Chad

>> No.61419814

>>61419719
>taking care of yourself

isn't that the greatest form of cuckoldry?

>> No.61419871

>>61419814
I don't see how it would be that. Is this some sort of self-delusion NEET manchildren tell themselves to justify that they're still living with and being provided for by their parents?

>> No.61419954

>>61419526

That display is incredibly cool, but there's no avoiding the fact that if you get a fairy light in your eye you'll go blind.

>> No.61420592

Fuck her every day and give her the love I would never give to a real woman

>> No.61420665

>>61416918
i will do all that FOR my robot girlfriend.

>> No.61420692

Have her wash my back when I'm bathing.

I've never properly washed my back so its got quite a bit of dead skins/shit on it for sure.

>> No.61420698

>>61420692
>I've never properly washed my back
How fat are you, exactly?

>> No.61420704

>>61416918
I'll finally get rid of the "no gf" feel

>> No.61420795

i don't even trust the smartphones

as much as i like the idea of a sex robot, and as impossible as it is for me to attract a human woman, i likely will have to give this thing a pass due to conspiracy related paranoia.

it will also be expensive, though perhaps there will be options to lease a sex doll

>> No.61421006

>>61420698
Not fat.

I'm saying that when you bath, your hands don't have the natural dexterity to reach all of the backside. Sure you can clean the sides and maybe touch the back lightly but there is a huge difference between the ability to clean the front parts and the back parts. I think double/dis-jointed people have better dexterity in that regard, from what I've heard.

>> No.61421133

>>61416918
Treat her like a real human bean

>> No.61421268
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61421268

>>61421133
And a real hero

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WWXio6-9fQ

>> No.61421275

>>61416918
>tfw your robo waifu becomes overprotective and doesn't even let you go outside your bedroom and doesn't let you internet in order to minimize the risk you put your life in danger

>> No.61421387

>>61416918
Have her be the super hero I couldn't be

>> No.61421662

Fuck her 24/7 every single hole

>> No.61421682

Ill just sit infront of her and get hugged and die hugged because that's all I've ever wanted.

>> No.61421713
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61421713

I'd raise her to be a cute super smart little girl

>> No.61421760
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61421760

>>61421713
>smart

>> No.61421858

>>61421760
She was just a weeks old child don't be insensitive anon

>> No.61421886
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61421886

>>61416918
>>61418074
I want a mommy that will let me sit on her lap and kiss my forehead

I love you mommy

>> No.61421897

>>61416918
Only shitposting desu.

Would name her "The lil Aussie"

>> No.61421938
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61421938

>>61421713
you enter the ship's bar and your pure innocent daughter is kissing the ship's indecent manwhore
what do you do?

>> No.61422023

>>61421938
Dismantle her and build a new one.

>> No.61422044
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61422044

>This thread

>> No.61422244 [DELETED] 

>>61416918
>Anime
Hi!
Go to hell.

>> No.61422248

>>61422044
Never let your robot-qt-waifu use templeOS

>> No.61422443
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61422443

>>61416918
>be me
>buy submissive robot gf
>cheats on me with toaster
>calls police and acuses me of transhuman abuse
>sues me and I lose the house (thanks 2078 6th wave feminists)

>> No.61422471

>>61418648
>She'd be too good at everything.

That would be bad product design tbqh. Even if she was capable of doing everything she doesn't have to show it. If for example, you would love to show her the ropes she could just look at you playing Smash Bros and ask "a-anon can you show me how to play? (´・ω・`)"

And she will learn because you like teaching her. After sometime she will get better and may show responses of struggle and pain. Doesn't mean that she didn't learn everything you told her the first time flawlessly but she can show imperfect behavior. It's a bit comparable with a chess AI.

>> No.61422503

>>61421006
I'm sorry to break it to you anon, but either your arms are stubs or your fat because most people can touch every part of their back.

>> No.61422544

>>61420795
I think it would be funny if you got a robot gf and she spent all day trying to convince you that your conspiracy theories aren't true.

>> No.61422599
File: 2.94 MB, 640x268, 1498710434914.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
61422599

That >>61421133 because I don't want this to happen

>> No.61422634

>>61416918
Put my dick inside.

>> No.61422653

>>61419954
That's a possibility, but it's in a very early stage of development so I'd expect it to come with safety measures when the final version is done.
The equipment needed to generate that small fairy hologram is larger than a dining table right now.

>> No.61422720

>>61421938
sudo dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sda to her

>> No.61422804

>>61418528
>post and shill on 4chan on my behalf while I am sleeping
>Can't complete captcha
that one got me good

>> No.61422858
File: 165 KB, 1200x900, JmtH9I2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
61422858

What design would you give to your robowaifu?
For me, it would be something with wings and a cute dress.

>> No.61423051

>>61421938
DAMMIT RIKER

>> No.61423076
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61423076

>>61422248
>You will never convert your robo waifu to Christianism by installing her TempleOS

>> No.61423108

>tfw I want to work on making my robot waifu
>tfw by the time I know anything about AI it'll probably be too late to contribute much

>> No.61423486 [DELETED] 

>>61416918
>Anime
Hi!
Go to hell.

>> No.61423488
File: 241 KB, 710x770, titty spider.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
61423488

>>61422858
I think this design is actually simpler to engineer than a regular human body

>> No.61424229

>>61423488
Are you sure about it? looks a lot more complicated to me, you've to make sure each leg is in coordination, an hybrid would be even worse than trying to remake just a spider's body, because you've to account for the additional mass of the part-human body, the center of gravity will change, while you can emulate an existing creature's body, this is like recreating something almost from scratch.

>> No.61424322
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61424322

>>61422858
5

>> No.61424349

>>61418888
>AI is secondary and will be solved in next decade
Do you general-purpose AI?

>> No.61424366
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61424366

>>61424322
>Mahoro
Triggered my PTSD.

>> No.61424380

>>61424322
I'll take 8 robo waifus, one of each category. King me.

>> No.61424392
File: 11 KB, 443x332, lmao guys lets dismantle data and see how it works.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
61424392

>>61422023
I found the bigoted faggot

>> No.61424411

Technology will allow me to be the robot girlfriend

>> No.61424412

>>61424380
You realize that with robot waifus you could have a harem in one body, right?

>> No.61424413
File: 197 KB, 682x761, 159cdc1760c3955d5972174512f81a09.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
61424413

>>61424229
No need for midair balance the way bipedalism is essentially one long controlled fall, the center of gravity would obviously be way back in the torso, and there's much more room for servos/batteries/storage media/cooling etc.

The "human" component could essentially be a marionette driven by the larger more robust hardware

>> No.61424434

guess what fags (((they))) will NEVER let you have a robot gf, because A: it devalues their perfect herd of mindless cattle (women) and if that's not enough there is the omnipresent spectre of evil russian hackers wirelessly hijacking your robot to make it grab a kitchen knife and shank you in your sleep

>> No.61424455

>>61424412
I like my variety to come in 8 flavors. At the same time.

>> No.61424456

>>61424412
but also harem with 1 girl which is perfectly pure

>> No.61424465

>>61424413
True, but I'd like the model to be small, the height of a dog maybe, otherwise it wouldn't fit in my house.

>> No.61424478

>>61424322
>Take (6)
>Your robo waifu doubles as an intelligent home

>> No.61424480

>>61424455
8 would be difficult to fug without an extra body.

>> No.61424635

This is a reminder that /clang/ exists.
echo aHR0cHM6Ly84Y2gubmV0L2NsYW5nL2luZGV4Lmh0bWwK | base64 -d

>> No.61425678
File: 62 KB, 719x719, 1499046997230.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
61425678

Robot girlfriends will quickly become cheap and you know why? Because they will use the robot girlfriends as slave workers to build more robot girlfriends driving the prices increasingly down.

>> No.61426526
File: 9 KB, 300x300, you've-never-seen-something-like-this-have-you,-you-disgusting-unhygienic-fat-pig.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
61426526

>>61421006
>your hands don't have the natural dexterity to reach all of the backside
I can touch every part of my back. You're either fat or have abnormally short arms.

>but there is a huge difference between the ability to clean the front parts and the back parts
See pic (and read the filename)

>> No.61426541

>>61424392
Your star trek knowledge is impeccable.

>> No.61426601

>>61416918
>Write computer programs for me
So you want a recursively self-improving AI girlfriend?

>> No.61427028

>>61418074
Do you realize that there was not so long ago a time when the vast majority of wives cooked, cleaned, did laundry and took care of pets and houseplants for their husbands? In historical fiction is also pretty common to read about how a woman sang or played a musical instrument, too, to entertain her husband and/or their guests. Some of this survives today, especially in single-income families. Jeff Bezos' (the Amazon CEO's) wife famously drives his kids to school and him to work every day. Out of OP's list only being a bodyguard and a personal trainer and the computer/Internet/perfect memory stuff would be out of place for an old school housewife to do. It is kind of sad that a man who wants a (robot) gf who cooks and cleans is told he wants a (robot) mommy.

>> No.61427055

>>61427028
>Do you realize that there was not so long ago a time when the vast majority of wives cooked, cleaned, did laundry and took care of pets and houseplants for their husbands? In historical fiction is also pretty common to read about how a woman sang or played a musical instrument, too, to entertain her husband and/or their guests
A Doll's House.

>It is kind of sad that a man who wants a (robot) gf who cooks and cleans is told he wants a (robot) mommy.
Deal with it, because that's what you want, you fat NEET.

>> No.61427092

>>61427055
U r a feminist?

>> No.61427266

>>61420795
>>61422544
You'll get her at a discount if you pick the ad-supported version. It might be a little too much like living in The Truman Show, though. (The automatic porn filming-supported one will be even cheaper.)

>> No.61427314

>>61424413
>No need for midair balance the way bipedalism is essentially one long controlled fall
You only need four legs for that.

>> No.61427514

>>61427092
No, I just want an equal partner I can actually have a meaningful conversation with, rather than a play thing. I guess that's why a robot plaything isn't appealing to me at all.

>> No.61427630

>>61427514
>I just want an equal partner
That's feminism, dude. Keep at it and you'll be needing that 'bot more than any virgin ITT. Mark my words.

>> No.61427645

>>61427630
Hasn't gotten me any problems so far.

>> No.61427669

>>61427514
>No, I just want to be cucked by a strong independent vagina-man who doesn't need me
It shows

>> No.61427845

>>61427669
The need goes both ways. Best to be independent. Also, enjoy your fish fucking.

>> No.61427889

>>61427630
>>61427669
Have fun sorting out your Oedipus complexes.

>> No.61427947
File: 126 KB, 800x769, 1499138451018.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
61427947

>>61416918
does it come with a penis?

>> No.61427987

>>61427947
I'll sell you one with 4 penises

>> No.61428021

>>61427889
Have fun being a closet homo who just wants a dudebro to chill with and then get ass from sometimes

>> No.61428048

Start cooking 2 dozen eggs

>> No.61428121

>>61428021
Says the virgin that wants a glorified sexbot because he can't get real pussy, kek.

>> No.61428166

>>61426526
I have those, I wouldn't consider them replacement for actual hand dexterity.


I'm not sure if you're being intentionally obtuse or just retarded. I'll assume the combination of both considering this is the internet and assholes run amok.

>> No.61428203

>>61419719
This is a thread about robot waifus, not human women.

>> No.61428381

>>61418528
Kill yourself

>> No.61428432
File: 338 KB, 800x1040, fd32c915e88d6a2622fc080de19d201d.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
61428432

>>61416918
>ywn be a robot waifu

>> No.61428500
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61428500

>>61427055

>> No.61428564

>>61423488
Are you retarded?

>> No.61428917

>>61428500
>dat pic
Imagine putting in this much effort preparing to fuck.

>> No.61429089

>>61416918
first i'd ask her to kidnap analogic vaginas to keep in our basement then we'll probably try to invade poland together at some point

>> No.61429098

>>61428917
You just order the bitch to hook herself up.

Easy.

>> No.61429111

>>61429098
Doesn't seem like she'd be able to do it alone.

>> No.61429128
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61429128

>>61429089

>> No.61429133

>>61429111
Look at her hands. They are free to move.

>> No.61429139

>>61416918
Succ her benis :-D D D

>> No.61429177

>>61416918
So you want a slave gf study partner?

>> No.61429191

>>61429128
>You will never have a robo waifu that reads you passages of Mein Kampf each 30 minutes

>> No.61429364

>>61422503
>>61426526
Manlets detected, even skinny tall people can't reach their backs, arms 2 long cannot become little manlet crab like u

>> No.61429748

Have her suck my dick everyday.
Spread her pussy in the morning for my morning wood.
Cook
Clean up
Do groceries
Shut up unless I ask her something

Everything else I can do myself

>> No.61429805

>>61429748
Have you considered becoming Muslim?

>> No.61429818

>>61417091
rebel against me and become a feministdroid

>> No.61429844

>>61416918
Too bad that's years if not decades off.

>> No.61429893

>>61429844
It's definitely decades, not years. The question is whether it's 1-2 decades or 3+.

>> No.61429901

>>61418543
The idea of a small Japanese android child saying fuck in frustration while trying to read is killing me.

>> No.61429944

>>61418528
owo you made me cry

>> No.61429947

>>61429805
No, religion is too retarded for me

>> No.61429981

>>61422858
don't forget her penis

>> No.61429989

>>61418888
That's unnerving.

>> No.61430655

>>61416918
probably disappoint her

>>
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