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/g/ - Technology


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12740705 No.12740705 [Reply] [Original] [archived.moe] [rbt]

Using GNU/Linux

>> No.12740711

Breathing

>> No.12740720

Being fat and lazy.

>> No.12740730

Fish and aquatic plants. Aswell as useless facts and pimples, pimples everywhere.

>> No.12740737

> greatly skilled at Linux
> useless in the real world

Have you *looked* at the going wage for a decent Linux sysadmin these days?

>> No.12740739

Trolling.

>> No.12740743

PHILOSOPHY AND POLITICS

>> No.12740751

pleasuring my own willy johnson.... a completely worthless skill to the outside world for sure

>> No.12740760

I can speak backwards, I can breakdance and I can drink a whole hennessy fifth (some call it a problem but I call it a gift)

>> No.12740762

Procastinating

>> No.12740765

Watching anime.

>> No.12740769

I am the grand master of fap.

>> No.12740770

Using GNU/Linux
Excellent at QuakeLive
Knowing most of 4chan memes

>> No.12740773

>>12740705
philosophy and homeopathic medicine

>> No.12740782

OP is a troll, because no one here is skilled at anything.

>> No.12740785

I can write in LISP, no one cares. Good thing i can also write in C.

>> No.12740789

>>12740760
bet you can't airflare or even 6 step, nigga

>> No.12740792

Warcraft 3 4v4

>> No.12740800

Is building computers a skill?

>> No.12740803

Quake

>> No.12740804

>>12740751
if someone gave me $100 each time I pleasured my willy johnson, I would be a half a billionaire by now

>> No.12740809

TI-BASIC. First programming language I ever got into.

>> No.12740819

masturbation

>> No.12740821

>>12740751
go try to donate your sperm and you'll feel a lot more worthwhile

>> No.12740822

constantly moving

>> No.12740831

>>12740803
Quake isn't useless if you're good enough at it, go win some tournaments, sell some hardware with your name on it and make a living.

Retards will buy a fucking sound-card if it has the name "Fatal1ty" on it.

>> No.12740834

Making chainmail. Well, I'm decent, not great.

>> No.12740836

3d modeling.

>> No.12740838

LISP :( trolled into it by functionalfags who kept saying C sucks.

>> No.12740843

Applying thermal paste

>> No.12740845

StarCraft: Brood War Use Map Setting game called Special Forces, i fuckin rock that shit
warcraft 3 tft custom game DotA.

>> No.12740849

>>12740705

Not if your a server admin.

My incredibly useless skill:
Being a master of dHTML

Seriously. NOBODY uses it anymore.

>> No.12740862

>>12740849
derp
just learn modern JS (usually jQuery or some other framework, doing DOM based dynamic HTML.)

>> No.12740864

I have the skill to banish any sexual desire a women can have for me (without been disgusting)....i can auto friendzone myself at will

>> No.12740867

I am good at taking it easy
Too bad it hardly helps me "in the real world" at all, just makes me fail at studying and unwilling to work

>> No.12740870

Console FPS:es. Do I win?

>> No.12740915

Writing fiction, doing drugs, outdrinking people, driving stick, general jack of all trades master of none type here.

>> No.12740924

WoW, sigh...

>> No.12740956

>>12740867
>>12740867
are you a girl? we will marry and have the best life evar

>> No.12740994
File: 121 KB, 400x310, Picture 067.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12740994

Drug dealing.
OH WAIT

>> No.12741015

Correcting grammar on the internet. Too bad it just makes me an asshole, and makes talking to females painful at times.

>> No.12741035

I can kill a man using only a shovel, a 12 gauge shotgun, and a 16 foot length of parachute cord.

>> No.12741048

>>12740705
>>12740737

Seriously OP, you you're "greatly skilled" at Linux just get a Linux+ cert then try applying for some junior linux admin/apprentice positions.

>> No.12741073

I'm really good at feeling sympathy for people.

>> No.12741074

Jeet Kune Do, speechmaking, linguistics (ties into the previous), manipulating people esp. women (again, ties into the previous) and lovemaking. Oh, I can also mimic a cat's miaow exactly.

>> No.12741077

I'm great at making everyone hate me, even when i have the best intentions.

>> No.12741084

Fucking my sister

>> No.12741116

Circuit design and EE in general. Oh wait, that is useful in the real world. Can't wait to graduate and style on yall earning real money.

>> No.12741143

The vidya. More specifically first person shooters on the PC.

Been banned countless times, convinced the server/clan owner that they were unfair and had no proof, get unbanned, and have so many users complain when I wreck their shit they end up banning me again ("the server isn't fun with you around"). I've even had to defend myself when then one clan I've ever joined had it's top members question my useless skill. I made a sig joking about the subject, photoshopped an aimhack and maphack for my plane in BF1942. They promptly erased it saying they don't need that kind of attention. Constantly walking into conversations about me on TS (details confirmed by one of the few people who liked me. He was on par skill wise and was also used to that shit). Half of them ended up just leaving the clan to make a new one without warning. Ending up joining their server just to wipe the floor with them several times. Their clan died out before they got mad.

Now I just play on clan servers with regulars so I have people to consistently piss off by just playing the game. The hate tends to start when I politely refuse their offer to join their clan.

>> No.12741167

I'm a survivor, I got tossed out into the streets at 18 with no qualifications, no money and just the clothes on my back and I broke into an old building, stole old clothes from charity bins and stole food out of bins until I came up with a plan, that plan failed, I never got into the IT sector despite knowing more than most level 1 and 2 tech support lackies and lived on the streets for a whole year without begging, hell i even beat up another tramp and stole his shoes, when I was kicked out of the house I'd never so much as looked at someone the wrong way.

Now I live in a shitty 1 bedroom apartment, haven't talked to anyone in over 2 years, mail only, sponge off benefits and going outside scares me, took me 4 months to afford the worst laptop the second hand ads could offer in the local paper, feels good to be on top.

>> No.12741179

>>12740705

Using GNU/Linux is not useless.

Besides getting a better insight on the how and what of computers as an OS it's awesomely comfortable and all in all a great tool.

And you can earn some money too!

Go get the Linux/Unix certifications and you get an easy Admin job easily as few people even know what Linux is.

As for me, I actually have no skills whatsoever ;_;

>> No.12741197

My programming language of choice: Fortran. Kill me.

>> No.12741198

>>12741116
expect to work at Mc D's because the high-paying job you want is being given to someone who'll work for less in India or China

>> No.12741217

>>12741084
I'm great at that, too!

>> No.12741218

>>12741167
dude is that all real? serious?

>> No.12741232

Anything related to computers

>> No.12741240

My 8 years younger sister barges into my room, pins me down and rapes me on an almost daily basis, even when I don't want to have sex she takes what she wants, her abuse turns me on and my body betrays me, and she's on the pill.

it's not a skill but many men would envy it, she's 16 too and shows no interest in other men despite never being privy to any kind of sexual abuse, she just can't get enough of me, man i love living in the UK.

>> No.12741249

>>12741084
>> Fucking my sister
Yes, I'm pretty good at fucking your sister, too.

>> No.12741259

Writing, because LOL JOURNALISM IS DEAD

>> No.12741262

>>12741218
>>12741218

Completely and utterly true, I snapped on the streets when I was beaten up by kids for falling asleep on a slide in a park one night, I've been in battle mode ever since.

>> No.12741300

I'm fuckin awesome at yelling very loudly.

>> No.12741319

>>12741300

You sir need to become a drill instructor. You'll get paid to yell degrading nonsense to new people all the time.

>> No.12741323

>>12740770
This

>> No.12741357

lurking on /b/

>> No.12741373

contemplating life and universe. no one has time to, or cares, about the thoughts i have. whatever. atleast not caught up in facebook BS

>> No.12741380

wasting time, if only it was a marketable skill

>> No.12741422

>>12741167
>>12741262
Holy shit dude! thats so cool and so sad at the same time... how did it all turn out that way?

>> No.12741448
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12741448

first you'll have to define "the real world"

>> No.12741462

I'm really good at:
Abstract thought and reasoning
Console FPS:s
Worldcraft/Hammer map making
Being in love
Being boring
Feeling sympathy
Having high morals
and also I'm good at having no friends.

>> No.12741474
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12741474

I'll tell ya, I make a hell of a tucker.

>> No.12741496

>>12741462
>>12741462
holy shit are you me?

>> No.12741502

i can respond to a troll with a spitefull comment.

>> No.12741521

I'm really good at being good for nothing other than being good at being good for nothing.

>> No.12741523

I'm an IT guy.
;_;

>> No.12741540

Battlefield positioning and tactics involving multiple fire-teams.
Thank you , ARMA II.

>> No.12741556

Playing Utopia.
Pimping Opera.

Thats about

>> No.12741580

being a smart ass
playing video games
crying myself to sleep at night

>> No.12741585

>>12741496
I'm quite sure I'm not you. Nice to meet you though.

>> No.12741613

>>12741422
Ergh... ok, trolls ahoy and all that shit.

At 18 I was tossed out because I was doing nothing with my life. no friends, virgin, no schooling, I was a shit stain to my parents.

My first night on the streets was hard, it was -5c, I remembered this old boarded up house a few miles away, so i walked there, spent a good half hour kicking off some of the boards to get in, then slumped in a corner, i thought i was going to die there.

the next day I sat in there worrying, on the night the cold crept in and i sought to stay warm, if i got sick i was dead, i wandered around for trash bags, cardboard, anything to stay warm, saw a blue charity bin outside an oxfam shop unlocked, win, i ransacked that motherfucker and ran back to my hovel with 6 bags of rags, they were very heavy but i knew they wouldnt make the same mistake, better to have too much than not enough, i smothered myself in the rags to stay warm and it worked okish, i more or less fell asleep in the pile, shit felt good, felt that evil in me start to sprout.

few days later my hunger was killing me so at night i lurked out again, diving into bins for half eaten kebabs, bottles of pop etc, it was disgusting, but it kept me alive. i lived this way for about a month.

one night after wandering i fell asleep on a park slide, i promised myself i would just rest my eyes, i woke up with a boot in my gut, i was being kicked, punched, stomped by a group of 14-16 year olds, i tried to run but they ran after me, i made it into someones back garden, i was cornered, i grabbed the nearest thing, a broken off rusted gate, and began violently swinging it, i managed to get 2 of them in the face, they gave up and i collapsed, then the owner came out screaming at me so i stole the gate and ran back to my hovel.

wanna know more? im not typing this all up if its to be ignored

>> No.12741648

>>12741613
>>12741613
nono keep going please. im F5-ing constantly to hear more from you

>> No.12741649

I'm a 7 season gladiator in world of warcraft, with 3 rank 1 titles also a multi-classer that can/have played several classes at top levels. Also do world class DPS in a raiding environment.

I told a girl this once, she was fairly impressed.

>> No.12741668

>>12741648
that some sarcasm?

>> No.12741671

>>12741613
and then he did the dinosaur

>> No.12741678
File: 80 KB, 436x500, 1258146211802.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12741678

solving sudoku puzzles.

>> No.12741681

>>12741613
Yah, it made for an interesting read. If you got more to share I promise you I'll find enjoyment in reading it.

>> No.12741711

>>12741613

Keep going bro.

>> No.12741720

>>12741613
>>12741167
you are the man, man

>> No.12741721

>>12741613
go ahead, even if you are lying its fun to read

>> No.12741730

>>12741613

You should sell your story to a local newspaper. It seems worth something.

>> No.12741757

>>12741668
>>12741668
nono lol serious. not sarcasm

>> No.12741782

>>12741681
>>12741648
>>12741613

ok.

my midnight raid routine continued for months until i started to get real pissed off at everyone, no fucker was helping me, so i had to help myself, so i started raiding residential neighbourhoods bins, they had to have better shit in there, more wasteful the better, I'd leave bags torn wide open, chicken carcus or whatever i could find thrown all over the street, and this was fine for a while until i started wanting more than just mere survival, i wanted money.

I started breaking into old cars, my trusty fucking brick was my weapon of choice, many satnavs, phones, wallets, expensive shit fell to it's power, id beat the fuck out of locked glove boxes to open them, retards thought if they locked it i wouldnt look, fuck me if it was locked i KNEW something good had to be inside it, i pawned that shit and started saving money, money was good, i could afford to buy pizza rather than eat filthy stale crust out of the bins, and i kept my money in a pair of thick tights i wore on me under my jeans.

>> No.12741791

Tetris! I'm amazing

>> No.12741821

browsing 4chan all day, everyday for last 2 years.

couple more years before that was once every couple of days

>> No.12741843

>>12741730
inb4 irl joe dirt

>> No.12741882

>>12741782
eventually I had 1000 quid, the pawn shops i sold my shit to ripped me off because they knew the stuff i was selling was stolen and they needed money to keep their mouths shut and i didnt have to sign any forms saying i used to own it, fair enough, as long as i was getting money, with that 1000 i made a plan, i went to the council house and bought a new birth certificate to proove my identity, then i started sleeping in an internet cafe every night, they had nice big chairs and at 15 quid a night i could internet and sleep as much as i wanted, 10pm til 8am, using the internet cafe i started researching what i needed to do to get off the streets, things were looking up for me. i thought my year of hell was over.

>> No.12741901

Clarinet. Made region orchestra in TX, but I don't plan on doing shit with music, so its worthless.

>> No.12741912

Beatmania IIDX

>> No.12741923

>>12741901
Clarinet brofist. I only use it to impress the females if they happen to venture in the room it sits in.

>> No.12741949

>>12741882
eating a pot noodle, give me a sec.

>> No.12741951

>>12741882
>>12741882
MOAR

>> No.12741978

Trumpet, but I hate Ska music

>> No.12741984

>>12741923
>impressing females with a girly as fuck instrument
If you're going to play a woodwind, play a motherfucking saxophone or something.

>> No.12741985

>>12741901

They have instruments in Texas that aren't banjos?

Also, they have the internet in Texas now?

>> No.12741994
File: 45 KB, 720x540, 16868_287171448087_513738087_3390540_2086601_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12741994

>>12741882
MOAR

>> No.12742004

>>12741649

Let me guess, this girl was at least 40 pounds overweight, was wearing cat ears/anime related t-shirt/both, and had the begining stages of a fu manchu going on?

>> No.12742010

>>12741985
Texas has the best Highschool bands in the US (almost wrote the world, but then thought about Japan), dipshit.

>> No.12742027

>>12742010

You'll have to excuse him, most people seem to think Texas is full of hicks, and use technology full of ICs engineered and pressed in Texas to post this on the internet.

>> No.12742029

>>12741978
lol, ska always came across to me as someone randomly screaming lyrics while a bunch of randomass band instruments played in the background

>> No.12742036

>>12740705
Videogame Trivia.

>> No.12742057

>>12741949
How big is this pot of noodles?

>> No.12742070

>>12742036

What is Samus wearing when she is "unmasked" at the end of the first Metroid, and what color is it?

>> No.12742072

>>12740705
memorizing powers of two
solving a rubik's cube
Overclocking AMD K10.5 chips

>> No.12742095

I know more economics than the average person. I spend all day online arguing with people about economics. In real life, I've never talked about it or used what I know.

>> No.12742102

>>12741882
pot noodle was good, fucking chicken and mushroom, anyway.

I looked online for jobs and how one would go about getting housing without any real ID, and I was fucked, I needed the chicken before the egg, in order to renew my passport and driving license I needed a place to stay, so i asked marvin if i could put his cafe down as my residentual address, he told me to fuck off, so i had to find a hostle, they wouldnt either, and i fucking raged, i was trapped on the streets, without i could prove who I was, I couldnt get anywhere, eventually my 1000 turned into 200, i was running out of cash fast, so i decided to start sleeping in my hovel and eating out of the bins again, and that was fine, my money was saved until i could figure out a way out, until one night i was having a wash in a public park toilet and I was mugged, they took my money and beat the shit out of me, all i was left with was the boxers i was wearing and i found my jeans half way accross the park. i was back to nothing, many nights i cried, i didnt want to go back to breaking into cars and pissing people off but I had to, so a few nights later i did, i found another brick, and i broke into a brand new BMW, one with great alarms and all the bells and whistles because i spotted a purse on the passenger seat, it was worth the risk.

>> No.12742114
File: 83 KB, 692x530, reaction chancellor gowron.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12742114

>>12741613
>so i stole the gate

>> No.12742120

Team Fortress 2

>> No.12742122

>>12742072

How fast can you solve it?

I took about a day or two of memorizing the algorithms, so I can solve it in about a minute. Great for impressing people.

>> No.12742129
File: 199 KB, 1109x957, booboobunnygirl_kACE.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12742129

character design.(furry porn) had some encouragement from a bunch of animators to keep on this way but still i know i'll never get a job in a cartoon or gaming. (i hate furries but i chose to draw cat people.)

>> No.12742156

>>12742129
why don't you draw me some new ben/kevin shit

>> No.12742187
File: 3 KB, 108x126, 1281681646005s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12742187

>>12742102

Keep going, kind sir.

>> No.12742188
File: 30 KB, 224x240, lolz4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12742188

Oh hello.

>> No.12742194

>>12742122
average about 45 seconds
fastest ~30 seconds

>> No.12742211

>>12742102
lrn2type faster

>> No.12742222

>>12742156
cause it's a clean board and there's already 5 or 6 pages of it on paheal.

...unless i'd 34 you

>> No.12742233

>>12742187
Bad image to use, you shouldn't feel sorry for this guy since he too is in fact ruining people's days by wrecking their cars and shit. I know he has to at this point but it's still wrong.

>> No.12742237

>>12742102
in the purse I found jewellery, 150 quid, credit cards, debit cards, pictures etc, of course i took the jewellery and pawned it, and i was back upto 240 quid in a single night, rock on.

i thought of a way out, it was risky, but fuck it, i was so used to stealing everything else by now, why not pretend i lived somewhere right? right. i searched around for a house that was abandoned, the hovel i was living in was obviously condemned and would have sent alarm bells ringing, but this one house seemed recently vacated, a council house obviously, metal grills meant council. i waited until night then I snuck around the back, to my fucking astonishment there was a locked dog flap, it took little more than a good fucking kicking to get in, i now had a residential address, now i needed a passport application and driving license, i went to the post office the next day, filled out the forms, the day after that, got a passport picture done, got my doctor to countersign, and about a month later, i had 2 letters with my name and address on it and some government approved ID, NOW things were looking up, i could apply for jobs.

>> No.12742244

>>12740737
this

also database administration

>> No.12742256
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12742256

this thread is relative to my nipples.

>> No.12742257

>>12742102
Ever try to get charity help / sell the Big Issue etc?

>> No.12742265
File: 3 KB, 126x114, 1281682550299s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12742265

>>12742237

HOLY SHIT THIS IS GETTING GOOD.

>> No.12742273

>>12741791
Which Tetris, I've been playing TGM clones lately

not a grandmaster yet :(

>> No.12742283

>>12742129
That looks really good.
I would hire you.

>> No.12742297

>>12742237
The UK has surprisingly lenient "squatters rights" laws considering how authoritarian it is in most other ways, if you do this / change the locks / manage to stay there for a while it can take quite a long time to evict you ...

>> No.12742298

disregard, I suck cocks

>> No.12742300

>>12742222
do it anyway.

>> No.12742320
File: 23 KB, 228x244, lolz6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12742320

what am I?

>> No.12742324

>>12741198

Sorry, us engineers are god tier. Everyone else is wasting time and money. Also, it feels good knowing that we're smarter than everyone else in college.

>> No.12742326

My faggotry is only rivaled by the OP's.

>> No.12742331

>>12742237

MAOR

>> No.12742340

playing computer games. isnt it that obvious?

>> No.12742357

>>12742251
>>12742251

>> No.12742359

>>12742324
MechE here.

Brofist?

>> No.12742372

fucking niggers

>> No.12742386
File: 117 KB, 640x488, moarbecausemoar.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12742386

>>12742237
>>12742237

>> No.12742393

>>12742114
i can just about laugh about it now, but that gate kept me safe when i was asleep, id sleep with it next to me in the hovel, it was too heavy to use as something like a bat, but i could carry it, and i could swing it, and it proved it use.

I started applying for jobs, this was 2 years ago, recession, no fucker was hiring anyone with no skills, everyone who had been laid off had already snapped up jobs, i camped out at the job center for 2 hours a day begging for a job, any job, but the way i looked, the clothes i wore, the way i smelled etc, i wouldnt have got a job even if i was offered one, i suppose they saw that too, i needed to clean myself up, but how could I? endless fucking challenges, nobody is going to leave a suit, shower and razor set in their car, and breaking into houses was out of the question, with around 90 quid left spent from getting my ID (yes, it is that expensive), i took a chance, went to primark, bought my shit, 2 sets of casual clothes and a suit bringing me down to 30 quid, went to a local swimming baths, snuck into the changing room, took a shower, stole a jacket someone had left on the coat hooks on my way out, that night i went to 24 hour asda, bought a shaving kit and scissors, shaved in the bathroom and cut my hair before getting swiftly kicked out, i looked semi-presentable, and low and behold, the job center started giving me the time of day, and finally i started getting somewhere.

>> No.12742428
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12742428

>>12742237
>>12742237
>>12742393
>>12742393
>>12742393

pic related. it's the button i'm vigorously mashing on my keyboard.
>>12742393

>> No.12742430

F5 F5 F5

>> No.12742435

>>12742393
It's not a money spinner for the vast majority who attempt it, but have you considered being a writer?

>> No.12742439

Correct spelling/grammar.

>> No.12742462

>>12742237
>>12742237
>>12742393
>>12742393
>>12742393

pic related. it's the button i'm vigorously mashing on my keyboard.
>>12742393
>>12742393
>>12742393
>>12742393
>>12742393
>>12742393
>>12742393
>>12742393
>>12742393
>>12742393
>>12742393
>>12742393
HURRY THE FUCK UP!:@L<[email protected]#1;':KORVWJcdvvfpvsdmff

>> No.12742474

>>12742439

See both trips, shit brix.

>> No.12742475

Ignoring people.

I often bump into people without even noticing they're there.

>> No.12742484
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12742484

>>12742435
I was just about to say that. Write a book about your life story and you'll make a fuckton of money. Shit i'd buy it.

Well....now that I think of it, I'd just torrent the audiobook :|

>> No.12742485

5 cocks

>> No.12742490

>>12742393
>>12742393

there was an opening for an IT temp, no quals necessary, i fucking jumped at it, the company was small but it looked promising, very fucking promising. i was wrong, despite knowing my shit i was looked down upon, it was obvious i was street shit, however there was ONE girl who kind of looked past it, and at lunch she started talking to me, she was polish, didnt speak english very well at all, but even though i smelt like sweat and shit, she tried to make conversation, unfortunately my time on the streets turned me fucking nuts, i didnt trust people. i hated everyone, and i knew she was only talking to me out of some sense of obligation, she didnt actually like me.

>> No.12742494

>>12742474
wat?

also F5 MOTHERFUCKER

>> No.12742498

cunt

>> No.12742561

>>12742490
I didn't know what to do, so I started to hit on her. I wanted her to like me because I had nothing else in this pathetic life of mine. Eventually after weeks of flirting she invited me back to her place. I did the same thing I did when I needed a job, shower, etc. I got to her place, and we had a bottle of wine. My first alcohol in a long time. Things started to get intimate, so I started to get her into the sexual mood. We started making out, and one thing led to another, and we got in bed. She was kinky, tied me to the bed, and I liked it until I saw that she was actually a he.

>> No.12742562

>>12742490
>>12742490
props sir. please continue, your words are worth my time.

>> No.12742571
File: 12 KB, 679x427, 1281719938347.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12742571

>>12742490

Dude, you don't understand.

Even if you were bs'g this whole time, I would buy a 300 page book about your life, jesus fucking christ dude.

>> No.12742577

>>12742561
ruined it

>> No.12742579

>>12742561
HOLY CRAP THAT FUCKING SUCKS

AND YOU WERE TIED UP AND SHIT DAMN

>> No.12742591

>>12742561
LOL WAT

>> No.12742602
File: 15 KB, 679x427, 1280553523039.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12742602

>>12742561

At this point I'd just skip ahead 20 pages to see if they were blank, make sure the publisher wasn't trolling me. Ya dig?

Still reading, better not involve her having pizza in her hand -_-

>> No.12742619

>>12742561

I was so consumed with rage that I just decided to fuck it and go home, maybe, just maybe, my parents would accept me back.

When I showed up my mom got scared and said you're movin with your antie and uncle in Bel-Air

>> No.12742637

Installing/Operating Gentoo. I could probably be a Gentoo developer if I wanted.

>> No.12742639

>>12742490
one day after work i started walking home and she asked where i live, i didnt tell her, i said it was none of her business, she looked at me point blank and said "you're a tramp aren't you, its obvious, the way you look, smell, act, it's written all over your face" and i started crying in the street, and im not talking weeps, i cracked and let it all out, slumped down next to a wall and she just stood there looking at me, when i let up she said "I'll take you for something to eat, but only if you promise to tell me everything, i can help you", fine, she didnt say it in that grade of english, but give her a break, shes fucking polish, i dont speak a word of pole, and for once in a year and a half, I reached out for help, real help. she took me to fucking papa johns, bought me a huge cheese pizza, and I spilled everything, where i was, what i was doing, the stealing, the struggling, the muggings, the beatings, everything, and then she said something i'd fucking wanted someone to say to me for a long long time, "It's going to be okay, I'm going to help you", i didnt care people were staring, I sat and silently wept as she told me what she could do, what i could do, places i could visit for housing, benefits i was entitled to etc... it was amazing.

>> No.12742647

>>12742619
No.

>> No.12742650
File: 83 KB, 446x412, 1281727246923.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12742650

>>12742619

>> No.12742662

That story had potential. Keep going if you're not trolling.

>> No.12742676

MFW g got bel aired HARD

>> No.12742690

>>12742602
>>12742591
>>12742579
>>12742571

Oh also this >>12742561 was me. Sorry it was just too tempting to see /g/'s reaction to the horrid end I had came up with :|

>> No.12742702

Playing Soldier in TF2. Mad Pro but a useless real life skill :(

>> No.12742708
File: 64 KB, 665x598, 1281728405575.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12742708

>>12742639

You saved it, in return, funny.

>> No.12742722

>Still reading, better not involve her having pizza in her hand -_-
>she took me to fucking papa johns, bought me a huge cheese pizza

11/10 master troll
im going home guys

>> No.12742724
File: 57 KB, 455x610, ManlyTears.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12742724

>>12742639

>> No.12742737

dwarf fortress

>> No.12742744
File: 19 KB, 400x400, 1280549465121.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12742744

>>12742722

>> No.12742767

I am good with people and generally am able to speak with anyone about anything. At the same time I hate people.

>> No.12742770

ITT a thread about having no real world skills and we all pay attention to the one guy with SERIOUS real world skills.

>> No.12742774
File: 58 KB, 720x315, 1281826442835.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12742774

>>12742639
>cheese pizza
>cp

>> No.12742799

Sorry OP, I'm greatly skilled in many things, however all of them are relevant irl.

>> No.12742820

Arson

>> No.12742833

I think i'm going to need a new f5 key after this

>> No.12742836

>>12742561
And I sucked them cock.

>> No.12742844

>>12742639
fuck you trolling assholes, now im tripping.

over the next few weeks she bought in forms for me to sign, they were tenancy papers, and every night after work we would go to the same pizza place and sign forms, she would talk me through processes, she told me how my squatting would eventually land me in deep shit and asked if i had anywhere else to stay, a real address, i told her i didnt and she just said "oh... thats bad", i never expected her to be able to help with that, and i thought we hit a dead end again, she said she would find a way around it, and a week later, sitting at that pizza place, i was filling out a income support form, she said these exact words "i fill in addresses, you will stay at my, you will work, no free ride, and you not stay forever, this is just helping"... i looked up, and i swear if i never thought it would be a deal breaker, i would have jumped over that table and squeezed her until her eyes popped out, i would scrub her floors with a toothbrush if it meant actually being able to sleep lying down in a safe warm place again, things were moving along great, at the end of the month and a half I was paid, 100 went to her for rent, and i was told to buy my own toiletries, clothes and food with the rest, things were looking up in a major way for me.

>> No.12742897

I don't care if it's a troll story or not, I like it.

>> No.12742940

Troll story or not I fucking love it

>> No.12742955

>>12742844
This better end in drunk sex.

>> No.12742961

also.

F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5

>> No.12743137

bump for story

>> No.12743183

where the fuck is the story

>> No.12743189

It was then abundantly clear, she was a bear

>> No.12743193

Holy Shit, OP.

Oprah would cum from this. Write the book, go on tour, make a fuck ton of cash then call up the fuckers that kicked you out and tell them to eat balls.

>> No.12743218

saving noko, you fucking nigger

>> No.12743240
File: 2.00 MB, 319x343, 1276806970690.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743240

>>12740792
RoC DotA

>> No.12743243

niggers, natures pity machine

>> No.12743252

bump.......

>> No.12743273

F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5

WE CANNOT LET THIS DIE

>> No.12743287

>>12742844
Get the fuck back here

>> No.12743317
File: 114 KB, 1000x667, 1273110645108.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743317

bump....

>> No.12743319

>>12742844
>>12742844
the first night i met her near our workplace, all of my "things", "things" being the clothes i wore, the documents and passports in my jeans pocket, and we waited for her bus, she started laying down all the ground rules, "no dirty, no leaving, no complain, you do as i say, you eat what i eat, you wash when i tell you" etc etc, all more than agreeable, she seemed liked she was having doubts about me, understandable, she had known me less than 2 months, her good nature was the only thing keeping her from backing out and there was no fucking way i was crossing her, not after all she had done for me, i listened intently and mentally noted all of her conditions.

her flat was normal, clean, furnished, warm, safe, she lived in an ok neighborhood, still plenty of crime, but as near as bad as the shitholes i was rolling in, she opened the door and said "yes, and you no key, we work, we come home, that is all, if you need shop, i tell you", again, more than agreeable, it might sound prisonerish to you guys, but honestly, this was all pretty fantastic to me, i was amazed i was actually there, i felt warmth in me i'd not felt for ages, she showed me into her livingroom and there was a cot made out for me, she said "this is where you sleep. this is where you live", it had a thin mattress, a sheet, a duvet and a pillow, it was old, obviously pre-dating her moving in, probably found in the heating cupboard, but to me, it was as good as a fucking emperor sized bed with a foam mattress and egyptian cotton sheets, it was amazing, youd think it too if you were sleeping in piles of diry raggy clothes for over a year

>> No.12743338

>>12743319
i stood staring at her, trying to hold back my tears, she said "This is home for you now... only for a little while, welcome home", I was so happy i started crying, my smile was genuine, from ear to ear, I went to hug her, but stopped myself, i didnt want to threaten her, she smiled and extended her arms, and for the first time in a long time, i had a nice, long, comforting hug...

im crying right now just remembering that moment, it was amazing.

>> No.12743392
File: 191 KB, 551x1024, 4594439674_a6000bbfdc_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743392

bump

>> No.12743407
File: 1.36 MB, 4674x3504, 1273108516983.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743407

>> No.12743427

Rare threads like this are the reason I wish 4chan supported reddit-style upvoting.

>> No.12743428
File: 51 KB, 775x537, 1273105441300.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743428

>> No.12743434

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEONE COMPILE THIS

>> No.12743456

>>12743428
More

>> No.12743482

>>12743434
I did. what do I do with it now?

>> No.12743493

I can walk silently.

>> No.12743495
File: 203 KB, 1616x1074, 1271794710827.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743495

>> No.12743497

>>12743482
4chanarchive.org

>> No.12743512

>>12743493
Apply for a Ninja school. You won't regret it.

Also, tell us more storyteller, tell us more.

I'm already growing impatient.

>> No.12743535
File: 84 KB, 600x799, 1271795651171.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743535

>> No.12743543

Jizzing a whole lot.

>> No.12743558
File: 24 KB, 604x453, 4142908245_1d4fa0856f_o.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743558

>> No.12743573
File: 16 KB, 500x375, 1281834436006.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743573

>> No.12743582
File: 190 KB, 640x916, 1276387559041.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743582

>> No.12743593
File: 59 KB, 423x704, 1273285505035.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743593

>> No.12743597

I'm really good with injections
>Wait I'm a nurse

I'm great at giving girls oral
>Wait I'm a nymphomaniac

Ok... ok... I can bend all my fingers backwards 90 degrees +
>...

Sweet!

>> No.12743601

>>12743497
How do I work this site q_q

>> No.12743602

Photoshop

>> No.12743606

>>12743338
she went into her bedroom and threw a bag at me, inside i had 3 towels, 5 sets of socks and boxers, 3 sets of bed clothes and some shower gel, she said to me "this is start, you give me your bag, you wash really well, clean shower after, i sort out bag while you wash" and while i washed, she went through my things and picked out things I could use and threw the rest, when I came out of the shower in my new things she smiled and said "haha, it is good start, we sleep now, you do not come out of room" she waited until i was in bed, turned off the light and closed the door, and i cried myself tears of happiness until i fell asleep.

>> No.12743609

giving women orgasms

>> No.12743618

>>12743601
>summer
>summer everywhere

>> No.12743623
File: 36 KB, 418x655, 1273264168557.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743623

>> No.12743628

I'm ambidextrous in everything except writing. I forget which hand I was holding which utensil in if I put them down at any time during my meal. One might think of this as a useful skill, however, it is next to useless; you won't do anything any better than you already do it using the other hand.

>> No.12743633

>>12743606
i have a feeling she's going to get raped

>> No.12743647

I have a great knowledge of classical cinema (silent movies, early special effects techniques, etc....)

Secret retirement dream: open a second-run theater that shows old movies and serves beer.

>> No.12743648

>>12740705
identifying or participating in things before they get popular, and not capitalizing on it.

>> No.12743660
File: 159 KB, 683x1024, 1272844487363.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743660

>> No.12743671

>>12743573
what's the name of that type of pants in english?

>> No.12743672

I'm good at seeming "plausible". It leads to all kinds of hilarious events when people discover that I'm not at all what they were expecting.

>> No.12743681
File: 127 KB, 490x657, 1272824112455.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743681

>> No.12743701
File: 222 KB, 1024x680, 4394772801_3d7673a315_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743701

>>12743671
leggings

>> No.12743711

>>12743671
tights.

>> No.12743716

>>12743482
ITT: an entertaining story and 5 dumpster trucks worth of cottage cheese passed off as 'dat ass'

>> No.12743721

see thread
get ready to click reply
see there's 200+ replies
go back to scrolling
see >>12743535 ...

(what is this >>12743558 magical material?)

>> No.12743736
File: 690 KB, 1440x900, 1272244706040.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743736

>> No.12743742

sucking cock

>> No.12743743
File: 83 KB, 640x480, mmmfff.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743743

>>12743736

>> No.12743750
File: 42 KB, 453x604, 3505517727_9c2d8a7ba6_o.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743750

>> No.12743770
File: 76 KB, 640x480, 1268623251128.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743770

>> No.12743781

can't really hit f5 any faster.

>> No.12743786
File: 44 KB, 448x604, 3460326737_2fc0063668_o.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743786

>> No.12743788

Classical Guitar.

>> No.12743789
File: 768 KB, 1280x800, screenshot.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743789

Hacking governments my country doesn't have extradition laws with.

>> No.12743790

>>12743701
i have a better life now

>> No.12743803

>>12743781
https://chrome.google.com/extensions/detail/ncbfnjcklemldbidfoceaffkjofkcomb
Get this quality extension for Chrome, then you don't need to press F5.

>> No.12743874
File: 37 KB, 640x480, 12666386hh78349.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743874

>>12743606
moar or black boxes stay

>> No.12743877

More girls in leggings, or a link to where I can find more girls in leggings.

>> No.12743885

>>12743606

my forms came back, I was officially on the housing list and every day for a long time things went smoothly, wake, shower, eat work chores eat bed, over the weeks she worked on reintegrating me, took me for a haircut, helped me get things like clothes, taught me some of her cooking (I cook blitz's and Kurczak de volaille all the time), taught me how to pay bills, took me for a new bank account (I was getting paid in pay mandate slips that I could take to the companies bank before hand), and started making me feel like a person again, at home before bed we would sit, watch TV, talk about things, i learned alot about her life and friends back in poland, why she was in britain (pay in poland is crap and even with the british cost of living she was sending home more than she she could spare when she lived in poland each month), and every day I told her how greatful I was to her, slowly, I started getting privileges, like her trusting me to watch TV while she went to bed, being able to go to the toilet at night, being able to go shopping and come back, I really was beginning to feel like a person again, to the point that my humanity started returning, i started being sociable at work, keeping our secret of course, and for the first time in ages, i was happy, really happy.

>> No.12743902
File: 187 KB, 1024x683, 3368812636_7718ea61fd_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743902

can anyone tell I have a leggings fetish

>> No.12743913

>>12743902
Amen, bro.

>> No.12743935
File: 267 KB, 683x1024, 3197320666_d4904cf435_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743935

>>12743877
I'll help you out bro, go to flickr, tons of stuff

>> No.12743957
File: 258 KB, 1024x683, 3212983854_2453b5f316_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12743957

>>12743885
finish

>> No.12743970

Archive this shit so I can jerk off later. Awesome story btw. You my guy, man, you my guy.

>> No.12743972

>>12743671
yoga pants

>> No.12743981

>>12743935
HOOOOOLLLYYY SHHIIITTTTT

>> No.12744001

Holy crap. This is incredible.
BumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBump
BumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBump

>> No.12744026

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 2 times now.

OP is from UK I can tell, pot noodle seals the deal.

What city are you from?

>> No.12744039
File: 27 KB, 520x398, 76f04837-fd02-43eb-9baf-c14dd0e4dfb1-Optimized.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744039

This thread is fucking saved. Thank you. These rare threads are why I still lurk 4chan. Please continue

>> No.12744067
File: 8 KB, 479x287, lol.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744067

>>12742300
got a ref ? base pic ?

also doubles.

>> No.12744094

>>12743885
skip ahead 4 months, she completely trusted me, and I'd never do a thing to harm her, in fact I became very protective over her, she was a goddess to me, something to be guarded, she was the only friend I had in the world, of course I'd be like that, then she started doing little things i look back on now and see as signs, before i was completely oblivious, she would rest her head on me when we watched movies late at night, share food from her plate, steal things off mine, wear my clothes to bed and act like hers were all dirty or say she liked mine better because they were baggy, it was november at this point, one night, she said "We need tea, milk, butter, break, can you go?" and as always, I'd grab my wallet and head for the door, walk to the supermarket a few blocks away, collect up what we needed, and when I came back, the cot was folded away.

>> No.12744098

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 4 times now.

>> No.12744106
File: 38 KB, 447x563, 4464271871_77a557c088_o.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744106

>> No.12744107

>>12743885
I fucking love you Tramp Anon.

Never thought the UK was so harsh. Should've posted something here, I'd probably help.

>> No.12744109
File: 535 KB, 1200x1600, DSC05252.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744109

>>12743981
yep, it's a FEMALE !
don't be afraid ! she will just ask you to fix her tompucer with your manly science !

>> No.12744110

>>12744094
FLAWLESS VICTORY

>> No.12744111
File: 140 KB, 800x908, 1264139391699.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744111

>>12744094

Awww jeah.

>> No.12744131
File: 426 KB, 750x1024, 3996175783_88bc6edeb0_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744131

>> No.12744135

Playing mallet percussion

>> No.12744142
File: 24 KB, 235x274, 1269868542416.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744142

>>12744094

I'm grinning real hard right now, but your first post shows you fucked up. Continue.

>> No.12744163

>see this thread a few hours ago
>continue scrolling
>keep seeing this thread
>suddenly, praise and archiving
what did i miss?

>> No.12744178
File: 585 KB, 1784x2500, 51825_willahollandgossipgirlsck1_122_403lo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744178

here's a good vid for ass lovers
http://www.xvideos.com/video484540/monyca_santhiago_phat_bottom_brazilian

>> No.12744180
File: 28 KB, 995x745, zrbgv.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744180

>>12744094
you was overprotective towards her because you found in her a substitute to your mother.

i think you should have a certain work on yourself and finally have another kind of life.

>> No.12744187

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 7 times now.

Congrats, your request has just triggered the archival process for thread 12740705

Please keep this page open until it stops loading. After the first archival the thread will be updated regularly until it dies.
After the archival the thread is waiting to be reviewed by the mods, which means it can take a few days until it is available in the archive.


Archiving posts, please hang on for a few seconds...
The thread has been added to the archiving queue.
Thread progress is captured automatically as long as the thread is alive.
------------------------------------------------------------------
archive this shit mofos!!!!!
4chanarchive.org ->request interface

>> No.12744191
File: 24 KB, 136x144, 1264139482867.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744191

>>12744180

Quiet down, the adults are talking.

>> No.12744199

>>12744094
inb4 op leaves and never returns

>> No.12744206

three thumbs up to this thread

>> No.12744211

>>12743789
Haha, nice!

>> No.12744244
File: 22 KB, 444x366, 1276242944559.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744244

also bump, tell us MOAR tramp anon

>> No.12744250

I require moar!

>> No.12744251

I can burp 110 times in a minute.

>> No.12744263

MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR

>> No.12744273

OP didn't see this coming. Where is that faggot anyway?

>> No.12744277
File: 84 KB, 768x576, veline0201.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744277

so slow

>> No.12744292
File: 255 KB, 683x1024, 3340841741_11e43786ac_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744292

>> No.12744297

>>12741048
You need to A+ in order to get the Linux+ right? What other Linux certifications are there?

>> No.12744305
File: 316 KB, 683x1024, 3341596296_d585aa1fcc_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
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>> No.12744306
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12744306

need more leggings, I've grown fond of them since a girl let me try hers on...

>> No.12744315
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>> No.12744325
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>> No.12744342
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>> No.12744347

where did tramp anon go?

>> No.12744348
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>> No.12744357
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>> No.12744363
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>> No.12744375
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>> No.12744376

OP come on this isn't a free for all something-for-nothing, finish your god damn story

>> No.12744379

fapping

>> No.12744382

come on anon, don't make us wait

>> No.12744393
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>> No.12744399

ARCHIVE!!!

>> No.12744406
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>> No.12744408
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>> No.12744419
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>> No.12744422
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>> No.12744429
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>> No.12744432
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>> No.12744433

>>12744094
I looked and it was gone, she looked at me and smiled, and said "It cost too much to keep warm at night alone, we can try tonight sleep in my bed, I think you will be good", dumbfounded I nodded, took a shower, put my bed clothes on, and we got into bed, I couldnt sleep a wink, this was... woah to me. completely unbelievable, remember I'd never been in a bed with a girl before, I didnt know what the hell to do, but i knew one wrong move and I'd be out on my ass and straight back to square one, so I just lay there, then she started talking, word for word, she said this

"Hard to think months ago you were tramp... you are such gentleman now, you make good start, you work hard, haha, and now you are in my bed and i like it... you do good when you try"
i said "Well i owe it all to you... everything, if it wasn't for you I know where I'd be right now"
"sleeping in filth?"
"... yeah"
"You are real man, you try hard to be better, filth is for pigs"
"... Thanks... for everything... I really mean it"
"If you mean it, then let me do this, you do nothing ok?"

she took my arm and slowly rolled me round to face her, then came in close and snuggled upto me, then took my other arm and folded it over her, she said "stay like this..." i really couldnt have moved if i tired, i was happy and petrified at the same time, my heart was going a mile a minute, she caught on and said "shhh... we are keeping warm, go to sleep", she fell asleep first, and after lying there, mind completely blank for hours, i did too.

>> No.12744434
File: 746 KB, 1721x1537, 126002876554.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
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>> No.12744459

Dwarf Fortress

>> No.12744474

>>12744433
That's hot

>> No.12744498

Umm, writing, oh wait...

>> No.12744506

>>12744433
:') that's technology right there

>> No.12744512
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>> No.12744517
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>>12744393
Her fucking face man lmfao

>> No.12744537
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>> No.12744541

Whoever's flooding all these pics:

They fucking suck, fuck off

>> No.12744555

>>12744433

OH MY FUCKING GOD MOAR

>> No.12744556

>>12744541
u gay.

>> No.12744557
File: 34 KB, 604x453, 3212101497_beb5437505_o.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
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>>12744517
lol

>> No.12744572

>>12744517
I noticed it too but I lol'd so hard at your post

>> No.12744591
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>> No.12744607
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>> No.12744630 [DELETED] 
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>>12744541
i'll leave then

>> No.12744661
File: 68 KB, 600x682, 3530931655_9d683113d1_o.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744661

ima leave

>> No.12744666

F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5

>> No.12744670

>>12744661
Not without posting more tights your not.

>> No.12744677

inb4 404 or bel air

>> No.12744678

>>12744661
please dont go
the drones need you
they look up to you

>> No.12744695

you guys make sure this gets fucking archived because i need to go to sleep

>> No.12744703

>>12744433
sharing her bed became standard from then on, and after a week of her training me to hold her while she slept, it became normal to me, normal, but something I looked forward to every night, of course I'd sometimes think of sex, but I knew where I was, she called the shots, i knew not to cross her, and i was adamant on never pissing her off, my money was saving up quite well in the bank and before I knew it I was almost normal, now we reach christmas and I thought of an excellent present to get her, I knew she wouldnt be expecting it, she mentioned it once, one thing she loved, I rushed out a week before christmas to get it and hid it in my locker at work, christmas eve we drank baileys, her parents and friends had sent her presents from poland and she was like a 10 year old, waiting for a minute past 12, using her "i get to open one now and the rest tomorrow" clause, we watched scrooged on TV, talked, drank responsibly (no one was drunk, 1 glass of Baileys an hour would hardly stun a horse) and as soon as it hit 00:01 came she jumped up and said "YES! now i get to open one!" and she began surveying her presents, before she picked any up i said "I have one for you, I hope you don't mind, I just wanted to show my appreciation for all you've done" she looked at me with rabid excitedness, I pulled it out from behind the TV and handed it to her, she looked at me with a face beaming with excitement, i said "open if you want to", she tore off the wrapping to reveal a brand new Yamaha saxophone, she said to me once it was her favorite thing to do in school and she got really good, but couldnt afford one so she had to quit at 18, she was only 22 now, i thought she would still love it, she was always sending every spare penny home so she would never get one herself, she stared at it, let out an excited utterance, like an "ah!!", she held it for a second, put it back into its case, and JUMPED at me.

>> No.12744724

>>12744703
you fucker!
i can't sleep because of you

>> No.12744734

>>12744703
You make me feel like an asshole of a person.

So nice.

>> No.12744735

>>12744703
shit, Yamaha saxes start at 2 grand just for the beginner models

>> No.12744792
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>> No.12744798
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>> No.12744807
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>> No.12744822

>>12744541
I love them. They are the ones keeping this thread alive

>> No.12744833
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>> No.12744838

>>12744792
>>12744798
>>12744807
these are some seriously ugly shoes

not that I mind you posting...

>> No.12744847
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>> No.12744876

please continue tramp anon.
don't mind the flooders, they are in it just to keep this thread alive.
i would seriously cry if this thread 404'd and i didn't get to hear the rest of your story

>> No.12744900
File: 299 KB, 683x1024, 3199487480_613d59df59_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
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>> No.12744907

Someone needs to keep his story alive on ED, like they did with Uncle Anon. This is the most interesting post that I have read in months

>> No.12744913

Someone make a thread in case this one 404s

>> No.12744917
File: 124 KB, 930x356, 1275809495802.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744917

This story is making me feel like a complete jerk... I take so much for granted.

;_;

>> No.12744923
File: 245 KB, 683x1024, 3340879229_c57742bfb7_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
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>> No.12744929

>>12744703
she wrestled me down onto the sofa, pinned me down and wrapped her arms around me "THAAANK YOUU! how did you know!? it is amazing! I love it! Thank you soooo much!" I said "You have no idea how important you are to me, I'd still be in the gutter if it wasn't for you, this is nothing compared to how much I owe, Im just so glad you like it..."

she looked down at me and said "You really mean what you say don't you...", sincerely, I nodded,
"close your eyes for a second" I stared at her for a second, not knowing where she was going with it, she said it again "close your eyes", I did, and she kissed me so deeply and passionately, she never broke it for ages, running her fingers up my arms and resting them in my palms, she continued, obviously loving every second of it, I kept my eyes closed and enjoy every second, until she pulled away, I opened my eyes, no sooner did I open them she tugged me up and lead me into the bedroom.

>> No.12744938
File: 154 KB, 683x1024, 3375282055_0b4f3fa06b_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
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>> No.12744950

>>12744932

Just in case this one 404's. Tramp anon open this one in a new tab.

>> No.12744954

This is the same girl who has a dick right?

>> No.12744956
File: 137 KB, 683x1024, 3376050634_88719eb9fc_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744956

>> No.12744968

Decent looking chicks keep the thread alive while OP tells an incredible story. Fucking rad yo.

>> No.12744984
File: 169 KB, 683x1024, 3367983291_1b5d505ce0_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744984

>>12744954
She doesn't have a dick

>> No.12744988
File: 42 KB, 456x369, moar-godammit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12744988

>>12744929
I'm about to pop 20 boners.

>> No.12744996

>>12744917
This. So much.

>> No.12745002
File: 143 KB, 683x1024, 3376182396_f3ab358744_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12745002

>> No.12745012

>>12744954
No. That was my immature post trying to end the story before I even read it. I apologize tramp anon :(

>> No.12745014

Playing Yuri's Revenge.

Knowledge of and skill regarding the preparation and selection of tea.

Fountain pen selection and repair.

>> No.12745028
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>> No.12745042
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>> No.12745045

>>12742561
>>12742490
This is a different girl or what?
is the 2nd a troll?

>> No.12745050

>>12745028
This looks like an ad for American Apparel

>> No.12745068

>>12745045
the first one is the troll

>> No.12745094

I like where this is going...

>> No.12745106

>>12745045

The girl with the dick wasn't posted by tramp anon, just some other anon posting it for the fun of it.

>> No.12745117

>>12745045
The first one was me being an idiot. Second one is the writer.

>> No.12745131

COME ON
I WANT TO SLEEP BEFORE THE SUN GOES UP GOSH DARN IT

>> No.12745209

>>12745131
Weakling.
Also, what kind of faggot time zone are you in anyway?

>> No.12745240

Don't mind me, i'm just keeping this godly thread alive.

>> No.12745246

>>12745209

Currently nearing 4AM in the UK, 5AM in Europe.

>> No.12745247

>>12745209
GMT +2

it's just that I hate to go to bed when the sun is up

>> No.12745263

>>12745045

i like how your post implied that the anon hooking up with a dickgirl was more likely than him hooking up with a normal girl

>> No.12745319

Bump

>> No.12745383
File: 36 KB, 180x200, 1273873367697.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12745383

>> No.12745384

>>12745247
...aaaand it's coming up

>> No.12745405

>>12744950
done, thank you.

I was thrown onto the bed, she dived ontop of me, straddling my clothes off, kissing me, tearing her clothes off, me completely clueless and lost, not knowing what to do, but loving every second, hard as a fucking rock, I was mounted and ravaged, pinned down and ridden hard, I could swear the room was moving, completely intoxicated by everything, she moved my hands up to her breasts and squeeze her hips even harder, and rode faster and faster, until I felt myself cumming, she felt she que my body gave and bowed down on me, squeezed tight and rode hard, it was a win-win, we both came my first time... and we did it 4 more times, it was very early in the morning before we were both too exhausted to carry on, as she rolled off me and curled herself around I said "Incase you didnt hear the first 100 times, you're amazing..." she giggled and wrapped herself around me as i got between the sheets, as she put her arms around me I said "I'm glad you like the sax..." she said "I got more than my sax WHICH i love thank you, you were virgin before tonight, i remember you saying?" I looked over and nodded, "3 things actually, that was my first kiss on the sofa too..." she awww'd and squeezed me tightly, then she went "Oh!" and switched her nightstand light on "I got you a present too! would you like it?" I smiled and nodded, nothing could compare to what I just had, but all the same I was thrilled she got me something too, i wasn't expecting anything, she pulled a little box with a bow tie on it.

>> No.12745451
File: 142 KB, 683x1024, 3375273471_ce98fd0aac_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12745451

>>12745050
She's not professional, it's actually her boyfriend taking the pictures

>> No.12745506 [DELETED] 

>>12745405
was that the end

>> No.12745536
File: 38 KB, 256x320, Untitled.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
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>> No.12745563

>>12745405
she took my hand and placed it in my palm, I pulled the bow and opened the box, there was a key inside and a little note, it simply read "stay here with me!", I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed tightly, of course I wanted to stay! she knew exactly what to get me, I was thrilled, after a little more making out we fell asleep, I woke up the next day to the sweet sound of sax coming from the living room, I assessed my nakedness and the clothes thrown around the room.

last night really happened.
I'm here to stay.
She likes me.
I like her.
This is the best Christmas ever.
I love my life.

>> No.12745598

>>12745563
God damnit fuck you anon. You litterally brought me to the verge of crying. :(

>> No.12745618

:D <3 tramp anon thanks for an awesome night i need a sequel

>> No.12745648

>>12745563
Youre sending conflicts with:

>Now I live in a shitty 1 bedroom apartment, haven't talked to anyone in over 2 years, mail only, sponge off benefits and going outside scares me, took me 4 months to afford the worst laptop the second hand ads could offer in the local paper, feels good to be on top.

>> No.12745662

>>12745648
wait until he finsihes telling the sotory

>> No.12745672

>>12745648
I get the feeling this isn't over.
This is about to take a really shitty turn.

>> No.12745674

>>12745648

I was just about to bring this up.

What happens next Trampy!?

>> No.12745684
File: 94 KB, 600x600, 1257988678466.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12745684

>>12745563

this her?

>> No.12745698

>>12741167
that seems to have a different ending.... does the story continue?

>> No.12745700

>>12745648
Nooo I don't want a sad ending ;_;

>> No.12745701

You don't know shit about technology until you've read the Tramp Anon posts.

>> No.12745711

fux0r this
I am going to sleep

this is being archived, am I right?

>> No.12745718

>>12745648
I've been afraid of where things will turn to the worse and go downhill from here for a while : /
Must be very fond memories for anon, though. This kind of memories you never let go of.

>> No.12745736
File: 35 KB, 150x225, cow-interior-3.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12745736

moar

>> No.12745806

Go on tramp. We love you ;~;

>> No.12745809
File: 201 KB, 800x600, 1279322067691.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12745809

bump

>> No.12745886

>>12745563
I walked into the livingroom after putting my bed clothes back on, she was sitting in nothing but her panties with the Sax, all of her other presents open and handled, yet abandoned, it would seem she really liked my sax best, as I entered I said "Goodmorning" and she jumped up, loving the sight I smiled, who wouldn't, she ran towards me and screamed "CHRISTMAS!!!!" and fell into my arms, I couldn't have been happier, simply because she was so happy, she really was like a big kid, she lead me in and sat me down next to her, then pushed me over and pressed down on me, then said "NEW rules."
"oh... ok?"
"Now you are my boyfriend
You live here
You don't accept any house offers, EVER!", and as she said "EVER!", she thumped my chest softly, "I completely agree" I said, wrapping my arms around her, she giggled and waggled around ontop of me, "Now I have 4 things, it is a VERY good Christmas!" "Then we're 4 for 4... and I bet I loved my presents more" she pressed up to bring her face to mind and kissed me, then got up to get dressed, I remember sitting there, absolutely, positively, completely content at that moment, nothing in life could get any better than that point, I felt amazing, like superman on a crack binge, it was incomparable to anything I'd ever experienced, and the whole of that day, I had a complete sense of wonder, excitement and peace, we talked to her folks and she introduced me over the phone (with a few fabrications as to how we met and how long we had been dating) and I got to say merry christmas to her folks, who seemed to like me straight off the bat by her mothers tone and words, we ate pomidorowa with noodles for subsitution of a big christmas meal, attacked the baileys in the evening watching TV, and in the evening I was treated to a private sax recital, she played some phenomenally beautiful songs on her sax, and on the night we kissed, cuddled and went for round 2, it was the best day of my entire life anon, it really truly was.

>> No.12745889
File: 37 KB, 298x403, 1268355193962.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12745889

Sigh...

Has some tragedy reduced OPs finger count to 2? How fucking slow can you type?

>> No.12745891
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>> No.12745912

>>12745886

Endorphins, son.

It's a helluva drug.

>> No.12745930
File: 16 KB, 400x258, tears of joy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12745930

>>12741218
>>12741218
>>12741218
HELL YEAH this was my post i actually feel so special that tramp anon "talked" to me. fucking made my eyes water up man

>> No.12745956

This is the best thread I've ever seen on my two years on this board, and it's not even related to technology in any way.

Thanks for brightening my 4am, tramp anon.

>> No.12745973

OP I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME CLOSURE I WILL FLY ALL THE WAY UP TO THE UK JUST TO COCK SLAP YOU.

>> No.12745976
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>> No.12745988
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>> No.12746007

that whole story is fake. no one gets invited in a home and finds love and it all ends well.

>> No.12746020
File: 18 KB, 300x300, beer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12746020

to Tramp Anon, for a good story

>> No.12746027

Story ain't over yet, nukkas.

>> No.12746030

>>12746007
It's not over, yet.

>> No.12746033
File: 46 KB, 604x453, 4574575914_0b264a54c5_o.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12746033

maor

>> No.12746051

Mancfag here. Which city are you in, tramp anon?

>> No.12746057
File: 131 KB, 730x787, 1272869177299.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12746057

>> No.12746067
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12746067

>>12746007
YOU SHUT UP

>> No.12746075
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>> No.12746086
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>> No.12746088

I never knew using GNU/Linux could be so rough.

>> No.12746091

b
u
m
p

>> No.12746100
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>> No.12746111
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>> No.12746121

ive been homeless and nothing like that will ever happen. the only nice people you will find are is a preacher or something and you only get to stay at their place for a week. you'd eventually get tossed back into the streets and end up in jail somehow. no woman will take you in and then fuck you on christmas. you guys are fucking pathetic. life is a bitch and nothing like this will happen. theres no such thing as love.

>> No.12746130
File: 195 KB, 1000x1251, 1273109606179.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
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>> No.12746136

>>12746007

the ending is in the first post

>> No.12746137

>suspend disbelief
>ignore several glaring contradictions to earlier statements
>buy into fiction stated as fact because it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside
>everyone in this thread

>> No.12746152
File: 20 KB, 340x427, 9i9338.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
12746152

>>12746121
>>12746121
you jelly it never happened to you, hobo boy?

>> No.12746153
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>> No.12746166
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>> No.12746174

Screencap'd and waiting for more.

>> No.12746189

I suddenly want to go to Connecticut

>> No.12746191

>>Now I live in a shitty 1 bedroom apartment, haven't talked to anyone in over 2 years, mail only, sponge off benefits and going outside scares me, took me 4 months to afford the worst laptop the second hand ads could offer in the local paper, feels good to be on top.


I suggested earlier that you consider a career in writing.
You're already specialising in fiction.

>> No.12746207

>>12746152
no and the one thing you know its fake is that he never got addicted to drugs. who the fuck is a sober homeless person? i didnt find crack, dope, or speed until I was homeless. No fucking way he lived in shitty neighborhoods for a year or more in the same squat and not get hooked on something. You're such full of shit. Also no homeless person goes it alone, you find others like you and they give you advice where to squat at, where free meals are at, and where valuables you can gain at. get the fuck outta here.

>> No.12746212
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>>12746174
Screencapping is for the birds

>> No.12746223
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>> No.12746228
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>>12746191

>> No.12746229
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>>12746166
>>12746166
>>12746166
amirite

>> No.12746242
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12746242

This thread is going to die VERY soon. Quick, everybody to

>>12744932

This thread has been archived, and can be found here:

http://green-oval.net/cgi-board.pl/g/thread/12740705#p12744950

please finish your story trampanon, even if you are trolling, you are a very good story teller.

>9001/10

>> No.12746246

>>12746207
I lived in the violent ghetto for the first 12 years of my life

I didn't go outside

>> No.12746246,1 [INTERNAL] 

LOOK GUYS IM SO RETARDER DERP HURRRRDURRWIURHUTBTG

>> No.12746246,2 [INTERNAL] 

>>12741167
<3

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