In deep legal shit, what to wear at court?

[Anonymous No.9921881]

Hey /fa/, I'm in deep legal shit and need some advice. I'm not going to get into the details because I'm guilty but long story short, I'm being charged for a very serious felony that could land me in jail and have to appear at court soon. I've never been to a courtroom before and never imagined I'd ever even be in one but shit happened and now I don't even know what to wear, don't even buy my own clothes and just rely on handouts from my parents.

What am I supposed to wear at court, a suit and tie? I've never worn one so do I look for a suit store and rent one? How should I present myself so that the judge doesn't fuck me over even more than they already will?

[Anonymous No.9921901]

holy shit dude, you have more important things to worry about

just dont look like a slob/manchild

[Anonymous No.9921912]

>>9921901
I know, I'm already pawning all my stuff just to get any money, my parents aren't helping me and I don't have a job.

[Patrick Bateman !!eZg4ZGkAk6j No.9921919]

>>9921881
Suit and tie. No exceptions. As conservative as possible. You will possibly get yelled at otherwise.

And yes, this happens. Has when I've been representing people before. Don't tempt the judge to go on a power trip, EVER.

[Anonymous No.9921923]

>>9921919
How much will it cost to rent a suit and tie?

[Anonymous No.9921938]

>>9921912
The fuck did you do? If it's that serious I doubt what you're wearing is going to change much in the eyes of a judge.

[Anonymous No.9921948]

>>9921938
The officer who charged me said that since I'm a first time offender, there might be a chance I might get it lowered to a misdemeanor.

[Anonymous No.9921964]

>>9921948
Well, in that case, you better try and look good. You never know though, judge might not give a shit.

Best of luck, anon. Hope it works out.

[Anonymous No.9921975]

I find it weird you're not already in jail.

[Anonymous No.9921982]

Tell us what you did faggot. You can't just come to this shitty board and pique our interests like this.

[Anonymous No.9921997]

If you are first time offender it will be for sure lowered to a misdemeanor. I was drinking and speeding and tried to run from the cops and slammed into a tree and I got let off with a speeding ticket because yeah.

Anyways, wear as nice clothes as possible and get ready to play I'm a little bitch white boy who fucked up and I'm in college getting a degree and off to great things please don't send me to gang rape me prison. I would also go on a severe diet and wear glasses so you look like a scrawny nerd loser fuck.

[Anonymous No.9922003]

>>9921997
>If you are first time offender it will be for sure lowered to a misdemeanor.

4chan lawyers, everyone.

[Anonymous No.9922019]

>>9921997
Also you don't have to come in a suit if you're young. Just don't look like a fool. I've seen niggers wearing blue jeans and I've seen sambo's wearing khakis and a button-up. Same offense, guess who got away.

Prison is where they send people if they think you're just gonna go out and commit more crimes. They have to believe it was a moment of weakness. So if you're actually poor, just come in with what you can afford.

[Anonymous No.9922028]

What did you do?

[Anonymous No.9922029]

>>9922019
but its better to wear a suit

[Anonymous No.9922032]

>>9922003
Um, you haven't actually been to court have you. If he's white, it's going to be a misdemeanor. Unless its armed robbery or something ridiculous. Then he should just go out and buy a butt plug and some condoms.

[Anonymous No.9922046]

>>9922032
>le judicial racism meme

[Anonymous No.9922060]

>>9922032
I go to court 3-4 times a week, tyke. You are wrong.

>>9922019
>Prison is where they send people if they think you're just gonna go out and commit more crimes.

Also wrong.

Don't get legal advice from these kids, OP. They don't know anything about jurisprudence.

[Anonymous No.9922077]

>>9922060
So what do you recommend? Also I have no money, will the court give me a free public lawyer? Is it really free or will there still be some fees for it?

[Anonymous No.9922098]

what did you do?


I was supposed to appear in court a year ago for shoplifting in Colorado but I moved away and just never went.

It's weird cause when I got a job they did a background check and it came up clean lol


also you really have to tell us what you did because maybe it's not even that bad but for you it is.

Court is tricky. If it's at some court house along with 40 other people (all for random shit like speeding or possession) then dressing in a FULL suit will look try hard.


I know.

You've been told always wear a suit to "impress" the judge. When in fact youll look like a douche when it's some minor charge and everyone else is wearing casual clothes.


if it's some BIG local case and its YOU and YOUR case only on trial then wear a suit FOR SURE.
OH BY THE WAY GO TO THE PUBLIC DEFENDERS OFFICE AND ASK IF IT'S POSSIBLE FOR A DIFFERED SENTENCE BECAUSE IT'S A FIRST TIME OFFENSE.


DO THIS ASAP.

this will make sure it will never go on your perm rec

[npk !ARSEoiPh9o No.9922103]

>>9922032
>If he's white, it's going to be a misdemeanor.

[Anonymous No.9922115]

>>9922032
please be satire

[Anonymous No.9922135]

>>9922077
If you cannot afford a lawyer, the court will appoint you one.

My advice to you is to not discuss the case any further with 4chan, and to sure as shit not admit guilt on 4chan.

[Anonymous No.9922142]

>>9922135
But I have no one else to ask. From what I understand, they want me to show up in court soon and I have to plead guilty or not. If I plead guilty, will the whole thing just be over in that day or will there be another trial where I will get a court appointed lawyer? I have no one else to turn to, please help me with some advice.

[Anonymous No.9922147]

>>9922115
That's what happens when you browse /pol too much, thinking race matters in the courtroom.

[Anonymous No.9922169]

>>9922142
It is impossible to even ballpark what could happen without knowing the specifics of the Complaint and the evidence one could produce in the Complaint's favor. This is why you must speak to an attorney.

[Anonymous No.9922189]

>>9922169
But I don't even have enough money for an attorney. Right now I only have $150 selling my stuff on Craigslist. And the cop has all the evidence so there's nothing I can say but plead guilty.

[Anonymous No.9922296]

>>9922189
You're all over the place, so I'll answer your items and try to give you some sort of comprehensive guidance:

Court culture is very conservative, so if you have tattoos cover them up. Bathe and comb your hair. You don't have to wear a suit, but you should definitely wear a button-up and tie. You can buy a button-up, slacks, and a tie at a thrift store for under 5 dollars if you don't have any of these garments. You're not out to "impress the Judge" like some have implied so far, you're just trying to look presentable. You couldn't impress the Judge if you tried--that isn't the goal.

Part of being presentable is answering questions definitively and not wasting the Court's time just because you don't know what to do. Arraignments are quick and gritty and the Judge will not want to hear much out of you, but he or she will want to know how you plead.

Many lawyers offer free consultation, you just need to look on-line in your city for criminal defense attorneys, make some calls and ask around. Even if you don't end up calling an attorney who is willing to meet with you free and discuss your case, they likely know of someone who might. So, ask.

Of course the police have all the evidence against you. I didn't say you should have it. I'm saying you should be aware at least in part of the extent to which there is evidence against you (in the form of video surveillance, witnesses, etc). You should have some idea whether or not the alleged crime could be proven in a court of law.

Do your parents know of your legal woes and refuse to help, or have you just not told them out of shame? You've already mentioned that they give you "handouts", so I'm very skeptical that they've decided you're on your own in this matter.

[Patrick Bateman !!eZg4ZGkAk6j No.9922313]

>>9922296
This is more or less correct, but:

Fuck sakes kid go talk to the clerk and get a public defender or appointed attorney. It would be unethical for me to provide you legal advice, but they can.

There really is no such thing as renting a suit. Hit up goodwill or something.

[Anonymous No.9922351]

Can't offer any help, but i'd suggest posting this on reddit, probably going to get more serious(useful) advice there

think they have a sub for legal advice

[Anonymous No.9922354]

>>9922313
>unethical for me

Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds for a lawyer who browses fucking 4chan?

[Patrick Bateman !!eZg4ZGkAk6j No.9922366]

>>9922354
Giving fashion advice is perfectly okay. Giving random idiots free legal advice is not.

Also FYI don't go to the subreddit or whatever. Those idiots are usually paralegals who have no goddamn clue but wanna feel important.

Go. To. A. Real. Lawyer. Now.

[Anonymous No.9922450]

>>9921881
zachipster?

[Anonymous No.9922474]

>>9921975
in america you're innocent until proven guilty

[Anonymous No.9922486]

this is b8

[Anonymous No.9922505]

>>9922142
>If I plead guilty, will the whole thing just be over in that day or will there be another trial where I will get a court appointed lawyer?
if you plead guilty there will be no trial since you are not contesting the charges

[Anonymous No.9922524]

>>9922450
kek

[Anonymous No.9922536]

>>9921881
lmao did you get pulled over with some weed?

[sieg heil !szTe0VDR1w No.9922562]

>>9921881
that's not a summons bro

they're going to take you into custody when you show up


wearing a suit and crying isn't going to have a judge dismiss some felony conviction

that and the DA who filled this shit agaisnt you needs to have a win record to keep up for his future political aspirations

if it is easy as a win as you claim it is, you're going to be living in a cell and the best you can possibly hope is that your shit was non[violent

they let you out due to overcrowding and you get your rights restored

but your life isn't going to be easy from here on out

sorry

when i worked for my dad i saw peoples lives ruined from criminal and family law cases.....basically police officers are not there to help you

don't o up to a cop and buddy up with him he will use everything you say agaisnt you

don't even befriend a cop

[Anonymous No.9922569]

>>9922060
>go to court 3-4 times a week, tyke.
Wow. The ultimate flex.

[sieg heil !szTe0VDR1w No.9922586]

>>9921912

ross Calvin Klein white label dress shirt $14.99

Goodwill Suit $20??

Khols random dress shoes $40?

ross tie (choose a conservative lookin one no j.garcia crap) $10

basically you want everything to be disposable

because if they take you into custody they will take your clothing/possessions from you

[Anonymous No.9922605]

its all over OP you are doing life mate, just go all out and cop a Deepti suit with a credit card.

[Anonymous No.9922639]

>i committed a serious crime
>what 2 wear 2 court 2 look siqq and effay??
i love /fa/

[Anonymous No.9922655]

>>9922586
>ross tie (choose a conservative lookin one no j.garcia crap) $10
my dad has literally dozens for jerry garcia ties

[Anonymous No.9922676]

Lawyer here op, your fucked fam

[Anonymous No.9922678]

>>9922605
kek

>>9921881
Dude get your lawyer ASAP, then worry about your sick court fit. The lawyer might even know where poor people can get suits. Anyway getting a lawyer is your first concern.

What did you do? Pretty sure you are not the only criminal in America. You are killing me.

[Anonymous No.9922693]

Judge here op, sick suit, dismissed

[Anonymous No.9922728]

Can we get a clue, like drug related? sex related? le inner nignog got violent related? 4chan shitposting got me v& related?

[Anonymous No.9922748]

u got a tiny dick or what u cunt. Man up and stop being poor buy a fucking suit or just kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.9922753]

>>9921997
Fuck you for driving drunk

[Anonymous No.9922813]

>>9922474
Said no one ever.

[Anonymous No.9922819]

>>9921997
>I was drinking and speeding and tried to run from the cops [...]
Thats one hell of a sentence. I hope you feel guilty as fuck that kind of shit should haunt you for the rest of your life. You were so close to so many what ifs. Fuck you man.

[Anonymous No.9923041]

Look presentable, you should look neat but you shouldn't look like you just threw on some neat clothes for the occasion, you should look as if you are always neat and presentable.

[Anonymous No.9923046]

>>9921997
>I would also go on a severe diet and wear glasses so you look like a scrawny nerd loser fuck.
kek

[Anonymous No.9923080]

quick question does dui affect jobs? im assuming nah unless u tryna be a truck driver

[sieg heil !szTe0VDR1w No.9923084]

>>9921997
>drinking
DUI is like a slap in the wrist in california
like all teens have one on their driving record today

i know a dude with 4 DUI's with a license (no insurance now obviously) and nigga still isn't in jail.

> speeding
fucking ticket

> tried to run from the cops
felony evasion is the only thing you have going agaisnt you

fuck it bro

you're not going to prison

unless you're under 21

[Anonymous No.9923102]

Don't worry op. Orange jump suits and black slip ons are in this season.

Does anyone have those pictures if the male models in court for cocaine charges?

[OP !ozOtJW9BFA No.9923104]

>>9922586
So I should just fuck it then and wear a bland polo/jeans like this? Think there's a good chance I will be put in jail right after the summons when I confess guilt?

>>9922728
Fraud related.

[Anonymous No.9923117]

>>9923104
>fraud related

Oh you pussy you'll be fine. I know someone who was doing fraudulent construction jobs and stole like 2 million from it. He got sent to white collar prison and worked on a chill farm for a few months.

[Anonymous No.9923488]

>>9921919
stfu faggot you've never left your fucking home
please drop your trip.
you're not important
you don't look good.
stop.

[Anonymous No.9924908]

>>9923080
It does. Many jobs will do a background check on you. Having a DUI on your record is not exactly a selling point.

[Anonymous No.9924937]

>>9921997

because white

[ree !L7l54FaA2E No.9924965]

>>9921997
>>9921919

4chan lawyers, everyone

[Anonymous No.9924976]

How young were they OP?

Get a suit and shoes from TJ Maxx if you're on a budget.

[Anonymous No.9925011]

What did you do? Depending on the felony it could be /fa/

[OP !ozOtJW9BFA No.9925097]

OP here. I found a suit on Craigslist for only $50. I guess this is better than nothing. Wish me luck.

[sieg heil !szTe0VDR1w No.9925116]

>>9923104
no, suit. 100% suit this isn't jury duty

basically its on you to prove that you would better serve the "community" you being out of prison than in it....

my lawyer just brought up the fact that i was in college and how i had a decent job/paid taxes/rent on time and shit, how i wasn't a flight risk because "strong ties to the community" during pleading

so like minimal bail needed, just had to show up for trial after discovery
I got detained for felony evading as well but mine was street racing related not DUI related.

we went ahead and accepted the DA's offer to shrink down to a misdemeanor so i just ended up paying some money (no big deal just a few grand all together incl attorney fees) , and doing some community service

just shit like watching kids at the local boys & girls club/daycare for low income parents and picking up trash on the side of the freeway just minor shit

my advice to anyone in the future is not to run from cops...just makes shit worse and you're not out running 5 cruisers and a chopper.

a childhood friend of mine is on his 4th DUI and is still driving...he hasn't hit anyone so...i guess the dude can drive drunk well...

idk if this is helping you settle your nerves, but these dudes see hundreds of cases where worse shit takes place

i mean you probably will be lined up behind murderers for hire, cartel members who behead children....

your shit is...this dude had a beer and failed to stop for a cop on saturday

maybe his radio was too loud shit idk he didn't behead a kid or anything

[Patrick Bateman !!eZg4ZGkAk6j No.9925129]

>>9924965
You could be a drooling slob and pass the bar, honestly.

[Anonymous No.9925147]

>>9925097
OP take this from me. Go to forever 21, you can get a slim and styilish suit for like 80$, plus it will look great for a party after you get a slap on the wrist

[Anonymous No.9925173]

>>9922639
>>9922605
kek

[Anonymous No.9925174]

>>9922019
i get that this is le asshole of le internet but why are you talking like some deep south trailer trash grandpa

[Patrick Bateman !!eZg4ZGkAk6j No.9925175]

>>9925116
>no, suit. 100% suit this isn't jury duty
This. Even with jury duty you run a small risk of pissing off a judge who sees it as insolence. More likely in a small town criminal court than in federal court.

Incidentally, you are right, don't run from the cops.

While we're on the topic, the only piece of advice that you need that I give to everyone:

DON'T
TALK
TO
THE
COPS
EVER.

No exceptions. They can legally lie to you, trick you, box you into a room and grill you, etc. Keep your fucking mouth SHUT AT ALL TIMES.

(Very few people actually follow this rule because they are arrogant fuckwads who think they are smart. They are not, you are not an exception, etc. Those who keep their mouths shut tend to find that charges disappear for lack of evidence.)

[Anonymous No.9925201]

>>9925097
OP no

do what >>9925147 says

[Anonymous No.9925210]

>>9925175
You know that rule only applies to the guilty, right? If you don't have anything to hide, staying mute around the police is direspectful (same boat as all the "hurr durr am i bean detained? whats ur name offisur?" faggots) and makes you look like a guilty fuck.

[ree !L7l54FaA2E No.9925231]

>>9925175
hi just asking out of curiousity

but what would you suggest one does if a police officer asks them a question

it would be rude or autistic to just act mute and stare at them right

[OP !ozOtJW9BFA No.9925239]

>>9925175
I know, but the cop was threatening my parents and suspected they were responsible for the crime when it was actually me. If I hadn't confessed right away my parents would've gotten into deep shit and would've kicked me out.

>>9925201
Too late, I already bought the suit. It looks ok on me I think and fits fine.

>>9925116
Can I take jail time instead of paying a fine? I only have $100 now, how am I supposed to pay back a fine if I don't have a job? I've been a NEET for 8 years now.

[Patrick Bateman !!eZg4ZGkAk6j No.9925242]

>>9925210
It does not work like that, and police do not work like that. Stop giving bad advice.

Sure, if you're a victim, report to the cops. Same thing as if you're an innocent bystander who just saw something. But if you're in any way involved - and I mean in any way- you zip your mouth IMMEDIATELY. Hell, even if you're a bystander, it is good practice to talk to a lawyer before mouthing off to the cops by yourself. There are virtually no circumstances where you are alone with an officer and you are talking and things go well.

I don't represent criminal defendants (unless I do it pro bono for fun), but if my client ever got arrested for being "disrespectful," I'd tear the fucking PD down out of sheer anger. It'd be way overbroad and the potential basis for a civil suit.

[Anonymous No.9925245]

>>9925210
I don't think you've ever been stopped by police for something other than speeding. You don't know what you're talking about.

[Anonymous No.9925283]

>tfw DUI
>tfw totaled car
>tfw sneaking suspicion that everyone in your life googles your name and now they know
>tfw met a girl the night I went to jail and haven't called her because the shame
>tfw still cripplingly depressed and think my life is ruined
>tfw parents try to convince me I'm an alcoholic every other month
>tfw know you don't deserve anyone's sympathy but still want someone to tell you your life isn't over

[ree !L7l54FaA2E No.9925292]

>>9925283
your life isn't over

ur welcome

[Anonymous No.9925649]

>>9921975
It's called bond. Spend all the money you have on a decent lawyer. Get a Walmart suit and some Payless shoes. Dress conservatively like the other anon said. If you don't have a lawyer by the time of your court date it will more than likely be rescheduled. If your lawyer hasn't gone through basic discovery your date will probably be reset. Quit flipping out you got awhile of letigation in front of you. Get a legit job and start saving a fuckton of money. I'm in Texas and they throw the book at you over here. Hope you have it easier than I do.
>$4300 lawyer
>6 months of court resets until I decided I was tired of it
>been one month and already have a small violation (drank at a graduation party)
>I'm going to automatically serve 3 days in County (at least), hopefully they don't revoke my probation, hopefully it's just the three days in jail
>I hate laws, cops, and judges now

[Anonymous No.9925719]

>>9922142
They literally HAVE to give you an attorney. Nigga you need to hurry up and get a job so they maybe give you probation. DO NOT PLEAD GUILTY AUTOMATICALLY. See what happens.

[Anonymous No.9925770]

>>9922639
>>9922693

[sieg heil !szTe0VDR1w No.9925829]

>>9925231
plead the 5th

or

"i don't know"

>who shot that cop?

"don't know"

>was it that guy holding the gun?

"don't know"

>we have them in custody you would be committing the crime of obstruction of justice

"officer, i don't know who shot your fellow officer"

[reeeeeeeee (influential style (...) !L7l54FaA2E No.9925849]

>>9925829
isn't that "obstruction of justice" then if someone lies to a police officer??

4chan lawyers

[Anonymous No.9925877]

http://i.imgur.com/k8I8I.jpg

[sieg heil !szTe0VDR1w No.9925879]

>>9925239
>Can I take jail time instead of paying a fine?

so you're asking me if it is a better idea to plead guilty to a felony that you probably didn't commit (since felony evading is usually a trumped up charge) or hire an attorney (or have one appointed to you) and plead down to a minor incident?

felony = minimum 6 months in prison, no rights (no guns, no voting, no jobs in the future, + a variety of all sorts of other random stupid shit that will negatively impact you for the rest of your life)

>I only have $100 now, how am I supposed to pay back a fine if I don't have a job? I've been a NEET for 8 years now

figure it out, you probably will be forced to get a job somehow courts usually tend to do that to people that they think are upstanding citizens that would be okay if they just had something to do with their time other than drink and smoke weed.

shit there are a variety of things you can do

take a loan out, pay the court fees and declare bankruptcy then don't pay your lawyer who filled your bankruptcy and just add his bill to the list of debitors you owe

shit idk (don't actually do this, it will land you in the same fucking scenario with bankruptcy fraud)

[Anonymous No.9925886]

>>9925283
You got a DUI you cunt and destroyed a car.

Did you maim yourself?
Did you kill someone?
Did you ruin someone's life?
Do you think that girl gives a shit that you got drunk and decided to drive?

DUI's are bad, sure, but c'mon man it's not the end of the world.

Now you'll never drive drunk again. Well done. I got up from a party one time and drove my completely sober brother home because I thought I was fine despite drinking 2 40 oz of OE.

I didn't realize until have half way that I was drunk as shit. Nothing happened, I will never drive in such a state ever again.

[sieg heil !szTe0VDR1w No.9925898]

>>9925849
if you saw the guy shoot the police officer

and you reply with "i don't know"

you're lying to the cop, they can charge you with it

but when it comes to trial
they have to prove that you knew everything about the case and that you lied. so the burden of proof is on them....you just need to keep pleading the 5th

but 9/10 you're better off not dealing with peace officers unless it directly benefits in some manner.

[Anonymous No.9925924]

>>9925283
i've gotten two DUI's and still have my drivers license

:)

[Anonymous No.9925935]

>>9925924
What fucking state are you guys in?

[Anonymous No.9925942]

>>9925935
michigan

first one was in '84 back when they didn't really care about drunk driving. last one was in '12

[reeeeeeeee (influential style (...) !L7l54FaA2E No.9925943]

>>9925935
USA is a crap country overall tbh

>>9925898
this sounds stupid af but i'm not familiar enough with internet law to argue

[sieg heil !szTe0VDR1w No.9925960]

>>9925935
california dude, they seriously don't do shit.

when i was being finger printed when i was detained, there was this cute looking irl there and the livescan tech AND sheriff deputy were hitting on her as she was telling them her plan was to attend another party to get wasted right the fuck after court

and they just made jokes about going with her
and about her hopefully not drinking then driving home

she fucking said...no shit....that she is "usually fine after 2-3 drinks...just can't over do it like the night before which is why she was there

she fucking admitted to a cop, that she was going to get drunk later in the night and drive

[Anonymous No.9925972]

>>9925960
not california, but indiana

i got pulled over by cops, was drunk enough to be seeing double. cop told me to be careful and he followed me back to my house to make sure i got home safe

scared the shit out of me, but glad i got away with it

[sieg heil !szTe0VDR1w No.9925990]

>>9925943
basically everything a cop says is a lie, in order for you to feel intimated to do what they want

so they will lie about charging you with all sorts of crimes in order to get you to do something

or....they will actually charge you for crimes you did not commit

basically any cop anywhere right now, right this second can come up

handcuff me (as long as he doesn't use "too much force") charge me with shit....with little to no evidence

9/10 DA will just push it through, to where i have to fight the fradulent charge

then have the case dropped

and nothing will happen to the officer....

so basically

if they decided they wanted you to testify agaisnt someone for some reason, and threaten you with everything from obstruction to resisting arrest they could actually charge you with it....without facing any backlash whatsoever.....

so it is in your goddamn best interest
to avoid the whole shit fuck, and comply by not complying

get it?

[Earmuff Maniac !!g+HshWCPoGp No.9926226]

>>9922142
So this sounds like your arraignment? What jurisdiction are you in, OP? That matters both for legal reasons and for court reasons.

In NYC, you'll seldom see people in suits except at actual trials, and even then, it's common to just see the defendant in higher grade business casual, a buttonup shirt and slacks.

STOP FUCKING TALKING ABOUT THE CRIME ITSELF. I WOULD TELL YOU TO DELETE THE OP BECAUSE YOU *ADMITTED GUILT ON A PUBLIC FORUM* BUT WITH ARCHIVING THE DA COULD SUBPOENA IT ANYWAY.

Bateman is right - get a lawyer ASAP. You should wear what they tell you to. You will 100% get a free lawyer from the court if you can't afford one yourself, but in many jurisdictions they're overworked and won't be able to provide the best representation possible to you. If you let us know where you are, I can help find some alternative low or not cost options for you.

I'll be back on here in a few hours.

[Earmuff Maniac !!g+HshWCPoGp No.9926245]

>>9925242
>I don't represent criminal defendants (unless I do it pro bono for fun), but if my client ever got arrested for being "disrespectful," I'd tear the fucking PD down out of sheer anger. It'd be way overbroad and the potential basis for a civil suit.

Also this. Being disrespectful to the police is not a crime, and the worst case scenario is you spend a few hours in a cage and get a massive settlement payoff a few years later. I know so many people who have pulled that.

Thanks for dishing out advice, Bateman.

[OP !ozOtJW9BFA No.9926278]

>>9926226
Mariposa County, CA. I already admitted guilt to the police officer who charged me, which is why he didn't arrest me because he considered me a low flight risk. I already said that I don't have enough money for a lawyer, I am a NEET still living with parents who will not help me and only have $100.

[reeeeeeeee (influential style (...) !L7l54FaA2E No.9926282]

>>9926278
You seem fucked already lol

[Anonymous No.9926511]

>>9926278
Get a job ASAP. Any job.

[Anonymous No.9926526]

>>9926278
>Mariposa County
whats the crime? be vague if you have to. drugs? sexual assault?

[Anonymous No.9926553]

>>9926526
He said it was related to fraud.

[breakfast !!VaXZ+jZpAIl No.9926803]

>>9922032
>this is what people actually believe

[Earmuff Maniac No.9927824]

>>9926278
Bad news, besides that you confessed to the cop: there doesn't seem to be any local legal aid groups that handle criminal matters. You're going to have to go with the court appointed public defender or prevail upon one of these folks:

https://www.justia.com/lawyers/criminal-law/california/mariposa

Go to a free consultation and probably get told >>9926282, probably get told just to take your public defender's advice on a plea deal.

Sorry OP. Enjoy your suit.

[Anonymous No.9928984]

CA cops don't give a fuck man. My room has no license or a green card and cops pull him over and just latching go. I take it as long as he has insurance they don't care. He drives a shitty car, So maybe that'd why. I take it that it costs the police department more to impound the car, arrest this guy and do all the paperwork, than the car is worth so they just let him go every time.

My dad also has like 4 DUI and he still has license. He just pays luke 600 dollar ticket. His insurance is higher too.

[Anonymous No.9928991]

>Be white
>do felony
>Expect it to be bumped down to misdemeanor
>Court day
>walk in court
>Judge is black
>get 25 years

[Anonymous No.9928992]

Was at court this thursday, wearing my rafidas and yung lean tee kek

[Anonymous No.9928993]

>>9928991
i laughed longer than I should have

[Anonymous No.9929009]

Im >>9928992

>>9923104
Haha i was literally in court last thursday for something fraud related. Plead the fifth all the way and i got released for lack of evidence. Good luck bro

[Anonymous No.9929018]

dont worry op
>got busted stealing
>police called
>have xanax and weed on me
>they saw i was doped out on pills the second they talked to me

didnt even get a fine lmao

for real tho not everyone are as lucky as i am

just be cool and funny they love that!

[Anonymous No.9929109]

>mfw I have successfully outran the cops in my car
god bless yurope where most patrol cars are 4 banger shitboxes

[Anonymous No.9929115]

>>9929109
>most patrol cars
top kek this is how I can tell you're from some shithole in Albania

[Anonymous No.9929125]

>>9929115
actually I'm from western yurope

my local police force is a joke here, they drive shit like Nissan Qashqais, only highway police has the budget for BMWs and Audis

although now that I think about it, I've seen unmarked police driving Golf GTIs

[Anonymous No.9929149]

>tfw my commy VP no fuckin match for the supercharged coppa V8s

feels fuckkin shithouse aye

[Anonymous No.9929207]

>>9922098
Holy shit I hope this is a troll. You are a complete retard.

[Anonymous No.9929234]

Don't spend your money on a lawyer, you're probably entitled to a court appointed lawyer, you can appeal if they fuck you over. The judge will likely focus on you as a person if you're a first time offender. Be remorseful, dress as well as you can but not so much you look like you're a fashionista.

[Anonymous No.9929240]

>>9928993
thanks fam

[OP !ozOtJW9BFA No.9929285]

Alright, I'm leaving for court today. If I'm not back in 10 hours then that means I'm in jail. Wish me luck.

[Anonymous No.9929291]

>>9923080
>>9925116
>>9925283
>>9925924
>DUI

fuck you guys
seriously fuck you
my best friend spent months recovering from destroyed elbow and hips due to you fucking assholes
fuck you

[Anonymous No.9929297]

>>9929240
>the malkavian girl's outfit from VtM: Bloodlines

[Anonymous No.9929303]

>>9929285
godspeed, criminal scum

[Anonymous No.9930217]

Bumping for updates

[Anonymous No.9930382]

>>9925283
>Britfag
>At the pub by 9am
>Spoons in the afternoon
>Clubbing after
>Decide to drive home
>Seeing double
>Blackness flicking up the windscreen
>Roundabout
>At least 3 of them when there should only be one
>Too drunk to make a decision
>Hit the roundabout square on and go flying
>Land the other side upside down in a duel carriageway
>Get out of car, go to Texaco over the road
>Sit on a Bench just down the road eating starburst, watching all the fuss around my car
>Mate picks me, spend the night at his
>48 hours later report the accident as a steering fault
>"Hit my head in the accident and stumbled off, that's why i didn't report it sooner"
>Got off scot free
Poor skills getting caught m8 tbh.

[Anonymous No.9931515]

>>9929285
>posted 10 hours ago
OP is in jail. RIP in peace.

[Anonymous No.9931743]

>>9929285

[Anonymous No.9932353]

>be me
>16
>vandalizing buildings downtown with mates
>holding up a brick ready to toss it
>cop sees me doing it
>"BOY. PUT THAT DOWN."
>look him right in the eyes
>throw it directly into the store
>shatters the window
>he starts booking after me
>I run away because he's fat as fatass
>jogger guy in a tracksuit tackles me
>he's a cardiofag lanklet so I'm able to easily spin him over and start pounding his face into the pavement
>cop comes and arrests me while I'm beating the shit out of this guy
>I'm kicking the backseat the entire time and screaming my head off
>put me in a jail cell to be kept overnight until my parents can pick me up
>screaming for them to let me out, that I have rights
>cell mate is this gaunt 100 lb heroin addict dude
>start beating the living shit out of him
>he's screaming for help
>cop drags me out of the cell and throw me outside
>don't even bother writing me up or calling my parents because I was acting like such a shit

Moral of the story is, when in doubt, act as fucking dangerous and crazy as you can because cops are people too and they have a point when they can't deal with bullshit anymore lol

[Anonymous No.9932360]

is sexual assault /fa/

www.nytimes.com/2015/05/24/opinion/sunday/nicholas-kristof-when-the-rapist-doesnt-see-it-as-rape.html?smid=tw-nytimes

[Anonymous No.9932368]

>>9932353
only an autist would create a plan like this

[Anonymous No.9932379]

>>9932353
OP do NOT do this

[Anonymous No.9932398]

>>9932353
true alpha

[Anonymous No.9932425]

>>9921881
As a guy who had to go to court on felony charges (five years), got em dropped to a misdemeanor (community service and 3 years probation) I'll say:

Suit and tie, show respect for the court. It helps.

Don't forget your best accessory, a good lawyer.

I wish you best of luck, and don't fuck it up.

[Anonymous No.9932456]

You will be missed OP, hope your court and last fit was up to the ocassion

[Anonymous No.9932694]

>>9932425
Too late OP is getting mad dick as we speak, good thing he is a faggot. Couldnt even update us on his arrest, what a dick

[Anonymous No.9933119]

>>9925129
is passing the bar that easy Bateman? I've always heard that it's super hard and shit.

[Anonymous No.9933131]

>>9933119
What is bateman's professional background that gives him the authority to say whether the bar is difficult or not?

[sieg heil !szTe0VDR1w No.9933150]

>>9929285
sorry to hear this

[Anonymous No.9933174]

>>9929285

[Anonymous No.9933197]

NEETs truly are the scum of the Earth.

[Patrick Bateman !!eZg4ZGkAk6j No.9933486]

>>9933119
It's an effort game. If you can spend 3 months or so studying for 8 hours a day, you can pass it in your sleep. Same thing with a lot of certifications, actually. You usually do have to take prep courses though, as now the examiners are more or less in bed with the test prep people.

>>9933131
A person who passed it, obviously.

[Anonymous No.9933773]

>>9929149
If your in Bris/GC theres the fatal 5 too those fucking v8 commos fly even compared to the coppers reg commos