/fa/ - Fashion

[Anonymous No.9729868]

How can being effay get me a gf, or at least laid?

[Anonymous No.9729874]

It can't. It will just help a bit.

[Anonymous No.9729875]

>>9729868
It won't. :)

[Anonymous No.9729890]

>>9729868
Those are big glasses

[Anonymous No.9729922]

>>9729890
4 u

[Anonymous No.9729923]

>>9729890
no they aren't, they're literally the most average sized glasses on average

[Anonymous No.9729983]

It will only help you, and you've got to be confident in yourself and what you're wearing. Most of being fashionable is being confident. You could be in shape and in a great Brioni suit, but if you're awkward in your demeanor and uncomfortable/not confident with yourself, you're just going to look like a fucking idiot to everybody. People pick up on that at the most primal level.

tl;dr - being confident is most important but also dress well

[Anonymous No.9730004]

>>9729983
Yeah, it's weird for me because I dress well but I'm still an awkward faggot, so it doesn't even matter that I do. How do I improve on my confidence?

[Anonymous No.9730034]

>>9730004

There's no easy answer because it all depends on the source of your apprehensions. Are you not confident in the sense that you're socially awkward? If so, is it the result of naivete or conflicting pressure about how you want to act vs how you "should" act? Etc?

Or is it more derived from mood? i.e. do you have any psychological issues? anxiety, depression, claustrophobia, etc?

Or is it a combination of these things or something not relevant to what was mentioned? Maybe give an example that characterizes your awkwardness?

[Anonymous No.9730047]

>>9730034
I don't want to seem weird to people, and I sometimes don't know how to perform in social situations. Since I am aware of that, I avoid some of them, especially ones involving girls.

[Anonymous No.9730055]

>>9729923
You're no fun

[Anonymous No.9730097]

>>9730047

>I don't want to seem weird to people

Honestly, you have to stop giving a shit about what people think. I don't mean that in a mean way (especially because it's a natural phenomenon that literally everybody deals with no matter what they say), but you really can't let yourself be bothered by other peoples' opinions or the idea that they have opinions. The easiest way around this (for clothes) is wearing clothing that is representative of who you are. This doesn't really apply too much to plain items, but for other items or anything with any kind of graphic or band or something, do your research. Look into the various appropriations of the item and decide if you have any cultural identity with it and yourself/your own tastes. If you do, it'll be much easier to wear, and thus being more comfortable means better body language which means looking more confident.

>I sometimes don't know how to perform in social situations

That's understandable, but I think that can sometimes be a foolish worry. By that I mean we live in a society that constantly provides some form of mental stimulation in a generation conditioned to expect immediate gratification all the time with our constant/available access to social media, information, etc. So you have to get passed this idea and realize that in real life, you don't HAVE to be ready with something all the time or have something good to say to everything. Not saying you do this in particular, but it's hard to resist the urge to feel like you need to be a part of everything when there's so much happening in your socio-technical peripheral. Basically, just know what you know. I mean, don't deliberately put yourself in a position to talk about something you're not familiar with unless you make that clear and you want to be informed. On the contrary, if you know a lot about something, take the lead in the discussion.

Obviously putting yourself out there and being vulnerable isn't easy, but it pays off if you know when.

[Anonymous No.9730144]

>>9730097
Thanks for taking the time to write all that dude. I think the reason I give so much of a shit what other people think is because I view everyone as a potential friend or some shit, so I don't want to fuck that up, but by doing so I don't become their friend because I'm so timid. I still have a good amount of friends I'm myself with, it's just around acquaintances and strangers. I don't think the social media issue you brought up almost doesn't apply to me, I don't even have a smartphone. I only look at it on my desktop pc at home. I am on my pc a lot though.

[Anonymous No.9730215]

>>9730144

No problem, man. I understand the whole "potential friend" mentality, and I think that I have that going on when I meet people too. But I learned to think about it like this:

By confidently being the person you want to be, you're putting out the version of yourself you're most happy with and most comfortable with, and thus who you present to other people. All of the potential friends that you'd want on your side are the people who would be most comfortable with that version, so if you put out your best version of yourself and it doesn't resonate with somebody else, who cares? Either you're just not compatible with the other person (and so fucking what, you can't be close with everybody) or the other person is an asshole. In either case, those aren't people you want on your side to begin with.

It's hard because, again, it means being vulnerable, but you're really doing everyone a favor. If you put on a mask, you're only going to wear yourself out being somebody you're not, and if and when you break "character" it'll just cause issues with the other person for being attracted to (platonic or otherwise) a person you aren't.

I hope this makes sense.

[Anonymous No.9730230]

>>9730144

Also, on the note of the social media thing: what I was getting at was more that our exposure to media/stimulation/information/etc that creates this expected social need for immediate gratification/response is exactly that: social. Even if you aren't personally as swept up in it as others, it's still a big part of the culture we live in, for better or for worse. So I just meant it's something to be conscious of in how it pertains to the behaviors of others as well as yourself.

[Anonymous No.9730234]

>>9730215
Yeah, I definitely see how the approach I have is counter productive. Thanks dude.

[Anonymous No.9730426]

I find fa men indimidating.
I feel like I have a decent sense of fashion, but not the dosh to back to up, so a guy with money and fashion sense scares me.
I'm happy as long as a dude doesn't dress like a 12 year old.
Also wtf guys with more shoes than me.

[Anonymous No.9730503]

>>9730426
>guys with more shoes than me

What's wrong with that?

[Anonymous No.9730554]

>>9729868
wealthcore

[Anonymous No.9730648]

>>9730426
what if i don't have much money cause i'm a broke college student

also what if virgin

[Anonymous No.9730832]

>>9729874
This, same with getting /fit/.

Still gotta be confident enough to approach a girl, then neurotypical enough to carry a conversation, two major hurtles for a lot of people on 4chan.

[Anonymous No.9730870]

Dressing better will NOT make you better with women. The feeling you get knowing you're dressed well (confidence) may help you.
A ton of people are going to get pissed off and tell me i'm wrong, and that they get laid all the time because of their sick fits, but the reality is they probably have other things going for them.

Girls may notice you more if you're dressed well, but that won't do much good if you lack inner game and/or confidence. That's the same with being good looking as well.

Being good looking, and dressing nice can make a huge difference, but most of the change you need comes from within. It's about understanding what women find appealing, and losing your idealizations about "love" and what women say they want VS what they're actually attracted to.

I could write 9999999 posts on this topic, but where, specifically, would you like me to start?

[Anonymous No.9730918]

>>9730870
>I could write 9999999 posts on this topic
I know it's late so people probably wont respond until im already asleep, but I'll type a bit more just for the fuck of it:

The first thing you need to change about yourself is to stop living your life based around what appeals to women. I'm sure that's easier for a guy with an active sex life, but it's true for all men.

Never act desperate, never say more than you need too, and act unfazed by rejection. Asking out a girl is easy, once you get her number:
"It was nice meeting you/talking to you the other day. What night are you free to grab drinks?"
That's all you need to ask, and her response will tell you all you need to know.

The hardest part is getting her number, but you'll be pro after some practice. After the first time it will get easier and easier.
You obviously have to start a conversation with her, and then you have to GTFO. If you feel like there is some attraction ask her for her phone, send yourself a text from her number, save her name, and text her later on.

I know most of the people looking for advice have a very hard time with the idea of approaching women, but that's something you simply have to overcome. Sometimes women will directly approach you, but most of the time they'll do it indirectly. You have to learn how to read the signs, and signals, but again, that will happen over time. Reading or watching videos about body language could turn an observant introvert into a pro because most people don't know how to read that stuff. I could give a ton of examples where I got laid easily because I know how to read the signs.

When I say girls indirectly approach, it's because they'll do things like put themselves in your orbit - they'll get near you, to allow you to make the first move. Kind of like trying to pet cats.

Learn how to project confident body language and you will end up being more confident as a result (that's actually real science).

>maybe cont

[Anonymous No.9730969]

>>9730918
>Learn how to project confident body language and you will end up being more confident as a result (that's actually real science).
Being good looking, being well dressed, having good conversation skills, etc are ALL things that will benefit your dating life, but being aware of your nonverbal communications (body language) is the one thing that can drastically change it, even overnight. That alone is how you go from girls saying "are you gay?" to "you're hot."

>never say more than you need
That is crucial, and another thing that can make a huge difference. Don't worry about trying to impress girls by being the center of attention. If you have anxiety use it to your advantage by keeping quiet, but always playing it cool. I'm sure you will start having visions of a fat fedora fuck practicing PUA techniques, but there is a lot of truth in the element of mysteriousness when it comes to attraction. Girls are used to being hit on in many ways. They're used to the "nice guy," the desperate dudes, the overcompensating tryhards, etc. Just because a girl gives a guy attention doesn't mean she's sexually attracted to him.
If you look good, present yourself nicely, and at least act like you have a good personality around other people, a girl will notice that and wonder why you aren't all over her like all the other guys. That's when you'll notice the cat-like behavior I was talking about. There are so many things you can look out for, and I think introverts have an advantage in that area because they're naturally more in tune with social subtleties.

You can build attraction without ever saying a word to her so by the time you do start speaking things will already be heated up. That has worked out for me in unbelievable ways. Sort of like the bar scene in Shame where Fassbenders friend was hitting on that hot chick, and the whole time she was eye fucking him. He moved in without any effort. Most people don't understand those types of interactions.

>maybe cont

[Anonymous No.9731004]

>>9730969
The negative anons will have already given me a nice green >autism sign, but i'm attempting to explain what comes natural to most people.

It's also important to not take girls so seriously. Just play with them, make jokes to them, and don't be afraid to make fun of them. You need to stop worrying about trying to impress her; she should be worried about impressing you. Never act out of insecurity in relationships. Dating is easy when you approach it as something fun you would want to do regardless of if you had a date or not.

Don't spend a ton of time "getting to know" or "being friends" with a girl before asking her out. Ask her out as soon as you get the chance. Being her friend will not make her become sexually attracted to you. If she gives an excuse why she can't go out, take that for what it is: a lack of interest. A lack of interest means you move on.

Pursue your own best interest, work to become the best man you can be, and women will naturally gravitate to you.

I'll be back in three days to a week depending on how long I get banned for.

[Anonymous No.9731009]

>>9731004
Why would you be banned? Thanks btw

[Anonymous No.9731019]

All this advice.
>mfw

[Anonymous No.9731020]

>>9731004
Fuck, one other really important thing I forgot to say is that you need to let relationships build slowly. Do not get attached too quickly under any circumstances. That is probably the hardest part when you're new to the game. Pursue sex as fast as you want, but keep the dates spread out. Keep communication minimal between dates, especially early into a relationship. Do not let your relationship become a huge part of your life.

Personally I think it's a bad call to stop pursuing girls once you've started dating one, but I'll save that for later.

[Anonymous No.9731101]

this has turned out to be such a lovely informative thread.

[Anonymous No.9731303]

to put it simply:

i just treat girls like they are inferior.

just think like this and you'll be alright.

[Anonymous No.9731367]

>>9731303
basically, yea.

It pretty much just comes down to not taking girls so seriously. I wouldn't use the word inferior, but most guys hold women way above themselves and attach all these unrealistic idealizations to them, like I was saying here:
>>9730870

Once I started getting good at this stuff it became clear that it's all very predictable and easy to understand. Most guys will get into a relationship with a girl they think is really special, and that ends up leading to all sorts of problems. Girls are not that unique or special, but they all want to be seen as such. They hate being compared to other girls, but the more I date and hook up with, the easier they are to predict and read.

Maybe the same can be said about guys, but i'm not interested in dating guys so I have no idea. I'm positive people of every gender will take offense to the idea that there are no "special" girls, but that isn't exactly what i'm saying.

The inexperienced guy falls in "love" too fast. He sees this girl as special, maybe even perfect. He may not even ask her out, only have a crush on her. But she isn't special, she isn't some princess sleeping on clouds, she has a sex drive and has at least one guy railing her consistently.

Don't make the mistake of thinking a girl is special, because she will prove you wrong. However, get to know her over time and you'll be able to distinguish her unique qualities. That's another reason why it is crucial to let a relationship build slow.

Don't take her words at face value. Actions speak louder than words. A girl can say she's interested, and wants to spend time with you, but if she never seems to have time, her actions are telling you the truth. The shit about how "communication is key" gets blown way out of proportion. It's important to talk about stuff, but always judge based on action. That's why I say to never go to a girl for closure. You give yourself closure by learning to read between the lines.

[Anonymous No.9731395]

holy shit these posts are long


IT WILL MAKE IT EASIER PROBABLy

end of le thread

[Anonymous No.9731402]

>>9731395
Wiz Khalifa 420 bro

[Anonymous No.9731415]

I went through a huge growth spurt at school. At 16 I was 5'10, socially awkward, bad hair and wore streetwear. I'm 18, lost weight, 6'3, more money and dress better, I've turned into an arrogant asshole but I can go out and have women constantly look at me, and it's very easy to find someone. Fortunately I have a girlfriend, but she doesn't trust me and is insecure. I say this, but the things that helped me the most are dressing cleaner, being cleaner (skincare, haircare) and generally being more confident and improving my posture. It has worked well.

[Anonymous No.9731419]

>>9731367
hi scott