selling stories

[Anonymous No.7908517]

>selling clarks desert boots
>the guy arrive
>10/10 francisco lachowski look alike, tall, slinder fox eyes, perfect hairs
>"Hi my name is *** i'm here for the shoes"
>o-ok
>spaghetti everywhere
>can't watch him in the eyes
>he drops the price by 20%
>"S-Sure ok"
>he tells me thanks for the shoes
>"y-you too"

No homo

[dxfccboi No.7908522]

>selling spaghetti
>opens door
> walks dinosaur

[Anonymous No.7908527]

>>7908522
filtered, saged, hidden, reported for unoriginality bitch

[asokone !YCy9b1o.Rs No.7908531]

>delivering pizza
>old lady gives me $5 tip and says i wish all the delivery boys looked like you!
>mfw

[Anonymous No.7908860]

>>7908531
you forgot to finish the story where you went inside and had hot granny-sex like the cheap $5 whore you are.

[aiouh !!2EBwZerKFLu No.7908870]

>delivering old woman with shoulder area fracture to her home in a wheelchair
>tit hangs out throughout the whole drive
>ambulance cars force you to sit facing patient
>stare at the ceiling for 20 minutes
>get tipped 60 yuros

no homo

[Anonymous No.7908885]

>>7908531
>tfw don't live in upside down and
>tfw will never have asokone deliver your pizza to your door

:(

[sieg heil !szTe0VDR1w No.7908898]

>>7908517
list generation 3 glock 17 on craigslist
>2 mexicans pull up in a tinted out cadillac CTS-v
bullshit about their car

>ask for a cash/carry deal.
no what the fuck, shit is currently regestered to me...

>triple my asking price

>no

okay fine lets go to the local pawn shop to transfer

>haggle

pawn broker backs me on their low balls, chiming in between haggles to say he'd pay me more than they offer right off the bat,

get 75% of asking price.

and had to pay the DROS +transfer

-------
TL;DR - selling firearms on craigslist is a bitch

also there are lot of attractive bitches buying random shit that you would assume is for men

[Anonymous No.7908908]

>>7908898
>tfw sieg will never tie me down and torture my cock

[Anonymous No.7908910]

>working in retail

[Yawn No.7908918]

>>7908870
>not putting a blanket over her or some shit to cover it up if she couldnt do it her self

[Anonymous No.7908926]

>>7908898

yfw they're just buying it for tumblr photos

[aiouh !!2EBwZerKFLu No.7908933]

>>7908918
I did give her two blankets and turned on the radiation
but she didn't want a blanket over her left shoulder cause it hurts so her left tit just hung out

[Anonymous No.7908965]

>>7908531
was this in canberra cunt?

[Yawn No.7908966]

>>7908933
ahahaha
its even funnier knowing u tried

[Anonymous No.7908972]

>>7908933
>and turned on the radiation
good god man
and they let you near ill people??!

[genghis khan !/3DUcWLUKs No.7908977]

>selling shoes
>guy asks to meet behind a liquor store
>seemsshady.jpg
>arrive
>guy is fat
>notsoslimshady.png
>sell shoes
>go home

This is the most interesting transaction that's ever happened to me and it makes me sad

[aiouh !!2EBwZerKFLu No.7908984]

>>7908972
cause im the illest

[Anonymous No.7908985]

>>7908870
LOL

[Anonymous No.7909014]

>>7908972
>>7908933
o fuck man topkek

[Anonymous No.7909019]

>>7908933
>and turned on the radiation
>it hurts so her left tit just hung out
>>7908972
she probably has like, 8 tits now

[Laserface !/VJxsUn3ao No.7909054]

Should I let a craigslist guy into my house?

I'm selling some turntables

[Anonymous No.7909077]

>>7909054
no, they break in later and know the layout.

[Anonymous No.7909083]

>>7908977
hope you sold your geos fuccboi

[Anonymous No.7909080]

>>7909077
this
happens more often than you know

[anonymous No.7909093]

>>7908977
>notsoslimshady
hehehe

what did you sell?

[Anonymous No.7909117]

>>7909093
skinny jeans

[Laserface !/VJxsUn3ao No.7909160]

>>7909077
>>7909080
Shit, what do?

I have a dog (dopey fluffy and happy but still big enough to hurt) would that be helpful?

I think he's gonna wanna test the stuff out

[Anonymous No.7909191]

>>7909160
do you live alone?
pretend that you live in a house full of people and that you live with them if so
take his picture (surreptitiously if need be; or get someone else to do so when he's distracted.)

Not living in a shitty hovel that can be broken into with a butterknife helps.

[genghis khan !/3DUcWLUKs No.7909192]

>>7909093
pair of jordans. Got em at a release cuz I knew I could make $ off them

[Anonymous No.7909189]

>be server at local pub
>milfs on the daily
>this particular milf wanted my D and wanted me to know that
>bring her her order
>"ohhh, looks HOT" as she pushes her tits together
>sounds like a cheesy porno, holds back giggle
>she tips just over 20% in a 10% standard restaurant
>mfw

[Anonymous No.7909194]

>>7909191
>house full of people and that you live with them
as in, invite your mates around if you're not a foreveralone with no friends.

[Anonymous No.7909200]

>>7909191
oh, if you have a garage, set that shit up there.
DON'T let him in any other room but the one that you've set up in, preferably close to the entrance you let him in.

If he asks to use your toilet or some other bullshit, he wants to scout around like that other anon said about layouts and you will be robbed and potentially raped too.

Well, at least you'll get some.

[Laserface !/VJxsUn3ao No.7909203]

>>7909191
I live with a pretty big dude and my sheepdog and have a pretty break in proof house

It's illegal to take pictures I people in Florida without permission I think

Shit son how am I gonna do this

Buyers name is tedd

HOW CAN I TRUST TEDD

[Anonymous No.7909207]

>Be in City for the weekend
>Browsing in Urban Outfitters (shit selection)
>Tall, well dressed black dude approaches me with his girlfriend
>asks about my jacket
>Its.. R-rains..
>Suggest Stutterheim if he can afford it
>He thanks me and compliments it
>Spaghetti emerges
>Y-you have a nice silhouette

Spaghetti was for dramatic effect, I'm actually pretty confident and careless when I talk to strangers. But in retrospect I think it was weird how I told him he had a nice silhouette lol

[Laserface !/VJxsUn3ao No.7909208]

>>7909200
Yeah I could do garage or lawn ( has a power outlet.)

I-I'm scared guise

[Anonymous No.7909210]

>>7909207
Sorry I didn't notice it was a selling story thread, thought it was just fa story thread.

[Anonymous No.7909209]

>get call from unknown number, some whiny little bitch on the phone
>she wants a bundle of h
>i don't really sell in sizes that small, but w/e
>grab 2 bundles, 1 w/bags of h and the other w/brown sugar, maybe i can make a quick buck
>leave the trap house in da whip
>call the bitch back, ask her to meet me next to the grease dumpster at popeyes
>shows up, some little white teenage girl, has no fucking clue what she's getting into
>tell her it's $250 instead of the usual $200 because i personally smuggled it in from mexico up my asshole and its really good stuff
>she says ok, hands me two fiddy, i give her the bundle of brown sugar
>she says she wants to look at it
>she opens up a bag and says "yup that looks right"
>i squeeze the bitchs tight little ass as she walks away, she says nothing

and that my friends is how i made $250 outside a popeyes

[Anonymous No.7909222]

>>7909208
>lawn
do this
best not let him in the house at all.
(keeps him guessing as to the interior)
and don't dress like a weakling fuccboi

>sheepdog
lel

[Laserface !/VJxsUn3ao No.7909241]

>>7909222
>try not to dress like a fuccboi weakling
I weigh 129 and only own skinny jeans :|

Also fuk u my sheepdog is god

So lawn set up is good?

[Anonymous No.7909245]

>>7908531
Does Bieber even trigger discipline?

[Anonymous No.7909249]

>>7909209
hahaha best itt

[horse !o7Or/NCf0g No.7909250]

>a guy wanted jacket related, for the price i bought it on the store
>we meeted at La Defense, since he was living in Paris like me
>he looked like a nice guy, was not very good in affairs so i got him to pay 20% more
>the jacket was still in the supreme bag they give with every online orders
>he ask me the state of the jacked
>i say its good, a small hole but good
>it was fucked, multiple holes, feather going out everywhere, the print was almost off in some places
>as he's pulling it off the bag, i dip like a mothafucka with the money
>we contacted by email, and i created one just for the transaction
>2 months later
>still got no contact from him or the popo

feels good mang

[Laserface !/VJxsUn3ao No.7909256]

>>7909250
Nigga why you gotta do that mang

Also good deal

[sieg heil !szTe0VDR1w No.7909265]

>>7908926
proboably, it was a range slut until i learned how to operate a real handgun

and i let anyone shoot it from newbies to anyone asking about it,

i personally have grown to hate them, trigger saftey/no saftey, to shitty magazines, and ergonomics of holding a lego brick

you don't notcie how shitty a glock is until you fire a kimber 10mm

then again it''s like saying you don't know how shitty the gap is until you wear loro piana

[Laserface !/VJxsUn3ao No.7909280]

>>7909265
Why the fuck did they make those things so blocky? I've only shot a glock once and it was really uncomfortable

[Anonymous No.7909288]

>>7909250
typical supreme succboi

[Anonymous No.7909313]

>>7909250

[the cosmicbutt experiment !!qblBZSgYzBX No.7909506]

>Meeting up with guy to sell some Common Projects
>rolls up in a Prius
>Wearing an Acne sweatshirt, skinny jeans, and air maxes
>Seems to be in a hurry, but was prolly pretty chill otherwise
>Tries them on
>too big
>Ask him if he browses /fa/
>"Nah man. Didn't you already ask me that?"
>I never asked him prior

he was hiding something lel

[Laserface !/VJxsUn3ao No.7909566]

>>7909506
He knew dude
He knewwwww

[Anonymous No.7910782]

>>7908965

nobody lives in canberra you deluded shit

even if they did they wouldn't admit it

[Anonymous No.7911505]

>selling Ricks
>post on ebay
>someone buys them

thts pretty much how it goes

[Anonymous No.7912077]

>>7909019
topkeks out loud

[Anonymous No.7912083]

>>7908531
post face
ill be the judge of that :^)

[Anonymous No.7912393]

>>7910782
asokone does you total faggot

don't post again

[sieg heil !szTe0VDR1w No.7912426]

>>7912393
and he's a nobody

[asokone !YCy9b1o.Rs No.7912466]

>>7912426
woops, forgot being 'somebody' on 4chan was something to be proud of

[Crept No.7912473]

>>7912466
Yeah bcuz u dont samefag 2 try n pass urself off as 1

[asokone !YCy9b1o.Rs No.7912478]

>>7912473
hey crept is it hard to constantly suck your cheeks in? is it worth it to just pass as average?

[Crept No.7912483]

>>7912478
>implying

I was licking my teeth

[Anonymous No.7912490]

>>7912478
you on your period today m8? so snappy and mad it's staring to get funny

[samson No.7912495]

>>7912478

eshay pizza boy on the rag

[Crept No.7912501]

>>7912495
Abo coming out of the depths 2 comment my pic I am honored post some new béats on ur soundcloud

[Anonymous No.7912498]

>>7909250
w2c dope clothes in paris

I'll be staying there for ten days

[Anonymous No.7912499]

>>7912490

yea it's really starting to ramp up in Funny Levels (tm) according to my notes of what asokone has done today really approaching hilarious actually

[Anonymous No.7912497]

>walking around campus
>guy walks into me at spills his tea on my Ricks
>start yelling at him, insulting his fit
>he tells me to go take a relaxi taxi and fuck off

[Anonymous No.7912512]

>>7912497

He did you a favor,

[Anonymous No.7912549]

>>7910782
I also do
(not asscone)

[asokone !YCy9b1o.Rs No.7912556]

>>7912490
>>7912495
>>7912499
lol goodbye

[Anonymous No.7912560]

>>7909250
you're the worst kind of person.

[Anonymous No.7912582]

>>7909250
Buncha niggers in paris, what a shithole. So glad I left

[Anonymous No.7912608]

>>7912497
>relaxi taxi
Why have I not heard this before?

[Anonymous No.7912734]

>>7909250
nique ta mère
tu parles anglais comme une de-mer

[Anonymous No.7912775]

>>7909209
coulda hit that mang

[Anonymous No.7912777]

>>7908531
>bar-tending
>creepy homeless looking dude smelling of cigarettes creeps up to bar
>buys a glass of post-mixed coke and tips me $0.10 and says "buy yourself a bubble gum wrapper
>mfw

[Anonymous No.7912813]

>>7910782
i also do (not asok or other anon)

[Anonymous No.7912848]

>>7908870
I thought yuros didn't tip

[Anonymous No.7912932]

>>7909203
have a talk with Tedd, inform him

[Anonymous No.7913201]

>>7912932
proceed to violate him and force him to roleplay dick ovens

[leisuresuitlamy !!YwrAiR6xRxQ No.7913263]

>>7910782

[Anonymous No.7913286]

>>7909160
post doge pls
>I like doges