/fa/ situation thread

[Anonymous No.7065858]

You're touring the streets of Paris on a cold autumn night.

As you walk past an alleyway you hear a faint plead for help.

Your phone has no signal in this area of the city and there's no one else around so you can't call for help.

You decide to put your faith into your trusty pocket knife to keep you safe, and you run into the dark alleyway.

The deeper into the alleyway you run the louder the cry for help gets, you realize that its a man's voice.

As you turn a corner in the alley you find the source of distress.

Rick Owens is on the ground with both of his legs broken.

He looks at the knife in your hand and then he looks at you with tears in his eyes.

What do you do? What is the most /fa/ way to handle this situation?

[poet !!ZKnqTt5WCG6 No.7065864]

Save his life, get a job out of it.

[Anonymous No.7065873]

>working out is modern couture
>want to start running
>running shoes are kinda gay
>design my own
>about to release them
>cant wait to go running
>be in an alleyway
>trip over my skirt trousers
>break both legs
>mfw i cant even go running

[Anonymous No.7065875]

>>7065858

"Oh my god, Mr. Owens? What happened? Let me help you up"

>help the nigga up
>take a cab to the hospital
>leave him my contact info
>he invites me for dinner
>get mad connections

that's be amazing to get to know him personally

[Anonymous No.7065884]

>>7065873
fuck i lol'd so hard

[Anonymous No.7065946]

GIVE ME DEM CREPS INNIT BLUD
DONT SPARK ME BLUD
MANDEM WILL SHAKE U DOWN
TAKE FEW LICKS 2 UR FACE INNIT
UR IN ENDZ NOW BRUV

[Anonymous No.7065961]

all of his clothes are black

i panic because i think it's a negro

i stab him to death in self defense

stood my ground

[Anonymous No.7065970]

>>7065946
rick leaps 2 his feet

REPEAT URSELF FAM
HOW CAN MAN TELL ME 2 GIVE U MANS CREPS
MAN WILL LENG U STR88 DOWN
MAN WILL SPIT OUT THE WHOLE CLIP U GET ME
DICKEAD
IM RAW ON THIS VIOLENCE TING BLUD TEST ME STEP TO ME

[Anonymous No.7065984]

You crouch, rest the knuckles of one hand on cool cobblestone. A light rain's begun to fall, and the air smells the way Paris always does in the rain. That heady musk, the water from the Seine on the poured concrete. The city is waiting.

"Are you alright, sir?" No use to try in French. He turns his head, and black hair pools on your worn Common Projects. Now you can't quite see his eyes, and that's bothering you -- you can't place the concern. You crane your neck. "Sir?"

His shoulders give a queer little shake, like a laugh. Did you imagine that? "Could you --" And now his hand, reaching, and you still can't make out his eyes, and did his fingers brush over the twill of your Max Cash for just a second, or did you --

It's all too fast --

He's up, towering over you, fists balled in the soft polyblend of your tee, pulling you up, up, up, the fabric pulling tight around your neck, choking you -- black hair a curtain, the gleam of teeth (but no eyes) -- god, he's grinning so wide -- you've walked right into his trap -- "No, no, I promise I've been good, my doublelayer's in the closet at home, and my poplin, you've got to believe me --"

He flexes his biceps and muscle ripples under that awful skin, like petrified wood. The skull leers at you in your abject terror, and he's muttering something ... (pull up in that foreign then i pop out, bag full of bands) ... "I only fuck with hittaz," Rick says to you, and rolls his neck, and suddenly you see his eyes, all black and wide as the necks of his unlaced Ramones -- stare in them and bear witness to history. Your history. You typing it into google. Marveling at the prices. Placing your order. Opening the box, and feeling the sickly-smooth leather, the too-light zipper, the malformed toebox ... did you know, even then? Did you realize this minute, here, now, was written that day? You knew your crime.

He laughs: it's high and cold like the Paris wind.

He leaves your bloody Bayani parka behind on the stones.

[cosmicbutts !!qblBZSgYzBX No.7065989]

>>7065873
>>7065946
>>7065961
>>7065970
>>7065984

/fa/ rly is the funniest board

[tinfoil !!gVL0FyzPeMv No.7065992]

>>7065984
>"I only fuck with hittaz,"

gg sides you did your best

[Anonymous No.7065994]

>>7065858
>O mon dieu, qu'est que c'est passé?
>je suis tombé und des noirs m'ont attaqué
>Sacré bleu, comment puis je vous aider? Voulez vous allez à l'hôpital?
>NON. Je ne peux pas y retourner. Mon père y travaille. Et il ne m'a jamais pardonné
>Pour... quoi?
>pour être un nancy-boi!! J'aurais pu être tellement plus. Et maintenant... rien
>Okay M. Owens. Je dois vous laisser mourir ici?
>Oui, s-t-p. la vie est dûr, si si dûr
then he dies in my arms

[Anonymous No.7066011]

>>7065994
>a-anon, nique ta mere aussi!
>o-o-oui m. owens, je comprends

[Anonymous No.7066089]

>>7065994
>my dad never forgave me for being a nancy boi

top lel

[Anonymous No.7066100]

>>7065984
10/10 you're a good writer
lold

[Anonymous No.7066158]

I see his blanched face as i kneel beside him. My nose scrunches as the metallic odor of blood hits; It is beginning to pool around his crumpled legs, the tibia protruding bellow his pod shorts. I stare into his placid eyes; My gaze drifts to his crooked nose for just a second. The fabric dances for just a moment as a Parisian gust flies between the worn stone walls.

"Please...AAARRGHH... oh god help me, please..." he says.

My stomach grumbles reminding me i skipped lunch and breakfast, for the past three days. I reach inside his jacket, my fingertips shiver at their brush with such quality, rummaging for a few seconds. First i am meet with a paper back. His hands meekly grip my arm as i remove the book, confusion is written on his face.

"really Nietzsche, so basic," I mutter examining the book.

"whaaaa?"

I continue pulling out a passport before getting a slightly smushed sandwich. The baguette crunches with the first few bites; my hunger soothed I swallow the fifth bite of jambon-fromage. I bring a cigaret to my mouth and strike a match. Flicking the butt, it sizzles in the blood. I bring my face to his, my miasmic breath is felt on his skin. As i am about to whisper into his ear I feel something strange in my gut. A contraction, something between a hiccup and retching, takes hold of my diaphragm. Hustle bones comin out my mouth.

[Anonymous No.7066162]

if i ever happened to be in Paris that means i am somewhat transformed or reincarnated into a nigger,which means i will probably steal him and possibly even have unconsented intercourse.

[Anonymous No.7066164]

>>7066162
Take the unfunny tryhard racism to /b/

[Anonymous No.7066176]

>>7066089
>>7066089
can you translate for my mono-linguistic ass

[Anonymous No.7066177]

>>7065984
im dyin here

[Anonymous No.7066189]

>>7066164
>trying to push political correctness into 4chan
apply yourself m8

[Anonymous No.7066234]

>>7065984
oh lawrdy

[Anonymous No.7066270]

>>7066189
It's not about being PC as much as it's just not funny. Running around screaming "NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER" because of the nature of being "Anonymous" really isn't funny. Humor based on stereotypes or racial trends is funny, but saying that black people always steal or engage in criminal activity is cliche and boring.

[Anonymous No.7066279]

>>7066270
guess all the fbi statistics about how blacks commit more crimes and everything is just cliche then amirite.and have you ever been to paris,because i certainly did.

[turnleft !!t/GvfGACpW7 No.7066287]

>>7066279
gypsies are more sinister than thugs.

[poet !!ZKnqTt5WCG6 No.7066290]

>>7066279
It's not about the truth of the stereotype, it's about shitty comedy writing and the basic ugliness of spamming that word. That word has a history, an ugly history. Ugly things do not belong here.
Really, political correctness doesn't enter the picture all that much. We're all desensitized to the word and it's just ugly, childish behavior & unfunny posting.

[Anonymous No.7066311]

>>7066290
>hurr durr ur word have ugly history and ur post is childish

guess that's why niggers use it all the time between themselves right?and i guess your experience with black folks are as far as seeing them in movies.

[Anonymous No.7066313]

>>7066287
you don't really find gypsies in Paris,but i could agree on that one,Gypsies are much more worse then black thugs

[turnleft !!t/GvfGACpW7 No.7066315]

>>7066313
you find gypsies in paris...lots of gypsies.
infact there are streets reknowned for gypsy community hangouts in paris.

[poet !!ZKnqTt5WCG6 No.7066316]

>>7066311
No, I grew up in a very diverse NYC community.
Black people using the word Nigger is about reclaiming the word for their own use, like gays calling each other Queer. Queer used to have far more negative connotations in the 60's and 70's until the gay community took possession of it and de-barbed it, so to speak. Or at least, this is my understanding of the matter.

[Anonymous No.7066856]

>>7066162
>>/b/

[Anonymous No.7066868]

>>7065984
>black and wide as the necks of his unlaced Ramones
10/10 best new lol

[Anonymous No.7066895]

>>7066313
>you don't really find gypsies in Paris

Confirmed for never having been to Paris

[Anonymous No.7066974]

>>7066313
>2013
>not having watched The Hunchback of Notre Dame

[Anonymous No.7066995]

It's a man duty to kill a horse with broken legs.
I mean.. look at his face.

[Anonymous No.7067021]

>>7066290
Fuck off rich whiteboi

[Anonymous No.7068145]

>>7065873
I love it

[Anonymous No.7068186]

>>7068145
HOW LONG IS THIS FUCKING GIF I DONT HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN FOR THIS SHIT

[Anonymous No.7068189]

>>7066316
Nigger pls

[Anonymous No.7068210]

>>7068189
>thinking gore offends people on 4chan

u should see my fap folder kid

[Anonymous No.7068243]

>>7066158
i leld

[Anonymous No.7068252]

>>7068210
It doesn't, but obviously you care about whether it offends you or not more than me.

Ps if you think that's gore you are top fag. I bet you wear skinny jeans too you queer.

[Anonymous No.7068586]

>>7068252
Matt pls go