/fa/ - Fashion

[Anonymous No.6592577]

what's a /fa/ way to order coffee

[Anonymous No.6592622]

with your words you piece of shit

[NEET No.6592623]

online

[Anonymous No.6592668]

5 shot venti, 2/5th decaf, ristretto shot, 1pump Vanilla, 1pump Hazelnut, breve,1 sugar in the raw, with whip, carmel drizzle on top, free poured, 4 pump mocha brewed at precisely 160 degrees or no tip.

[Anonymous No.6592678]

>>6592577
>lemme get a coffee, black

[Anonymous No.6592692]

Venti quad w/ half-soy half half-and-half John Wayne hazel undertow w/ double foam

[Anonymous No.6592703]

I work at a franchise Starbucks in a grocery store. Been here for 3 months, ask me anything... if you want.

[Anonymous No.6592712]

Medium red eye

[Anonymous No.6592715]

>>6592703
Are you at a Stop 'n Shop next to a defunct Hollywood Video?

[Anonymous No.6592718]

>>6592703
tell me about phase 2

[Anonymous No.6592722]

>>6592715
Nizzy

[Anonymous No.6592729]

>tall, black, double expresso on ice.
>larger size depending on length of day

[Anonymous No.6592747]

>>6592718
I'm not allowed to discuss our classified operations with civilians. It's company policy and I signed a full non disclosure disagreement. I'm risking a court-martial just by talking about it now.

[Anonymous No.6592754]

>>6592703
what's the 'default' number of espresso shots in tall, grande and venti cappucinos?

[Anonymous No.6592757]

>>6592754
1 in T
2 in G,V

[Anonymous No.6592788]

>>6592757
wow the niggs at my starbucks fucking lied to me.

they said it was one per size- tall is 1, grande is 2, venti is 3

[Anonymous No.6592791]

A grande extra hot soy with extra foam, split shot with a half squirt of sugar-free vanilla and a half squirt of sugar-free cinnamon, a half packet of splenda, oh and put that in a venti cup and fill up the "room" with extra whipped cream with carmel and chocolate sauce drizzled on top

[Anonymous No.6592821]

[Anonymous No.6592834]

>>6592788
An iced latte/macchiato gets 3 shots of espresso but hot ones only get 2.

I googled it and found out why.

The big difference between the Venti Hot and the Venti Cold (aside from temperature) is actually the size!

A Venti Hot is 20 ounces (hence the name.)
A Venti Iced is actually 24 ounces, to make sure there's enough room for the actual drink despite the ice.

Since it's more ounces, we give it 3 shots, and we actually give it more flavor syrups too: 6 pumps standard.

However, since we have those extra 4 ounces and since the ice does eventually become liquid, everything is increased by 1 in an Iced Venti.

[Anonymous No.6593030]

>starbucks
>effay
>ever

top kek u white peice of shit


3 shot tulip flat white is the only effay answer

[Anonymous No.6593266]

1. Do it somewhere local. Choose more on atmosphere than taste, and this is coming from a coffee nerd, although in any major city there usually won't be a conflict.

Starbucks is the Zara of coffee.

Try to become a regular.

2. Keep your order simple and clear.

Simple: Not only are coffee drinks more /fa/ the less adulterated they are, I promise you any decent place will serve a cup with better flavor than whatever Torani bullshit you want to add.

Plus, somehow, randoms get impressed by drinking coffee or espresso without adulterants. And liquid calories will get you fat.

Treat milk drinks like dessert.

Clear: Even if you have an absurdly precise preference - and do you really, have you earned it? - you can state it briefly and clearly if you've bothered to know the vocabulary.

"Lungo soy latte con panna" can be dropped in a second, and should be universally understood immediately, the look being one of disbelief rather than confusion.

Similarly, you should order a "large drip," not a "venti coffee." If the place does the dairy behind the counter, ask for a "large drip. Black."

3. If you order something as ass stupid as a Lungo soy latte con panna, tip. Tip as much as possible, unconditionally for a milk drink, usually (though a lapse is excusable) if they have to go to the espresso machine, do a pour, or french press it. Intermittently tipping for standard drip coffee is acceptable.

4. Show some interest in the coffee, at least sometimes, when it's slow. It's appreciated.

5. Unless there's one of those snarky little signs up, you can order an iced espresso, but you're, well, treading on thin ice. They have their place, really, but somehow they became such a marker of the clueless that you'll get looked at funny.

The ice simplifies the flavor and makes it more bitter, both of which are cardinal sins in contemporary coffee culture, in the same way /fa/ hates boat shoes or pale denim.

[Anonymous No.6593307]

Black or Black with a shot of espresso.

[Anonymous No.6593309]

>>6593266

[Anonymous No.6593316]

>not sending a carrier pigeon to get your order

[Anonymous No.6593348]

>>6593309
>calling me a fedora-wearer and not a hipster

Step up your game.

[darkness_and_light No.6593362]

Hawaii-fag here. You can get Kona or Ka'u coffee at most of the local coffee shops here. Even McDonalds used to serve a Kona blend.

[Anonymous No.6593392]

Small, black.

Anything else is decadence.

[Anonymous No.6593432]

>>6593392
this
even espresso is too much
the blacker and nastier the better

[Anonymous No.6593453]

Nothing is more /fa/ than staring into the barista's eyes when she asks you "Milk and sugar?" and replying with one word.

"Black."

[Anonymous No.6593459]

>>6592577
2 shots or 4 shots over ice.

Don't ever order an iced caramel machiatto or a frappuchino if you are a male fuccbo dick smoking faggot.

The only things you should get from a coffee place are espresso shots or a latte

>Starbucks employee, if you order a doppio espresso and a water I wont charge you because why the hell not. If you get a frappuchino I will charge you for every single modifier under the sun.

[Anonymous No.6593465]

>>6593453

*tips fedora*

[Anonymous No.6593469]

>>6592577
At gunpoint

[uuuuhhhh No.6593471]

>>6593392
adding light roast beans for more caffeine

[Anonymous No.6593479]

>>6593471
Decadence.

[Anonymous No.6593487]

>>6593453
would post this pic >>6593309
but its already been posted

[Tripsk !!NfEoAU6E/r3 No.6593526]

>>6593266
Once someone at a Starbucks spilled my tea on me and I had to fill out one billion forms, so for a while I was a "regular." Also, for a while when I didn't have Internet and one of the other Starbucks locations became 24 hours. Somehow it was just expensive enough to keep most homeless people out.

You should know how to order in Starbucks. You'll encounter one in a bookstore or an airport and end up embarrassing yourself. It's pretentious to just pretend that you don't know that they use the basic sizes are short, tall (12 oz), grande (16) and venti (20). It's not condescending to say medium or small, you just sound like an ignorant idiot who can't read a menu board. It's the equivalent of ordering "a burger" at McDonalds. You should know that they have (in order of strength): blonde, decaf (pike), pike, bold roasts for drip coffee.

At real cafes, you should try their espresso. However you like. Milk isn't a bad thing, especially since the treatment of the milk can make or break a drink like a cappuccino, a latte or a cortado. Find friends who are interested in coffee. When you go to cafes alone, sit at those big tables. You'll be surprised at the people you can meet. If you hate them, just wear headphones.

Drip coffee is generally horrible. If you like you don't like espresso drinks, at least spring for French press.

[Anonymous No.6593529]

>>6593453
She's not a real barista if she asked you that.

[Anonymous No.6593569]

I work at a Peet's, if you want to be /fa/ as fuck get behind a group of suburban rich kids ordering the fuck huge mochafrappelattechocowhips and in a low voice order a medium black coffee. If there's an exotic roast that doesnt sound faggy get that.

[Anonymous No.6593601]

>>6593569
do yall niggas put butter in your coffee
pls respond

[Anonymous No.6593605]

>>6593526
Drip coffee isn't always horrible. It is going to be nasty at a starbucks chain where that same coffees been sitting for an hour or more.

At my store I think it's pretty dam good because we make it fresh every 30 minutes. Also the quality of the beans is obviously very important to it.

[Anonymous No.6593625]

>>6593601
no. we do not put butter in our coffee. Why would you even think that?

[Anonymous No.6593628]

I walk in there head to toe in Jill Sanders and order my coffee simple and black.

[Anonymous No.6593629]

>>6593625
well peets does something to it
and I wanna know what

[Anonymous No.6593634]

>>6592577
lol what a fag! asking how to order coffee indeed everyday /fa/ is more autistic.

[Anonymous No.6593637]

> Also, for a while when I didn't have Internet and one of the other Starbucks locations became 24 hours. Somehow it was just expensive enough to keep most homeless people out.

OP asked about what the most /fa/ way to order coffee is, not how to utilize the world's greatest network of WiFi squats and public toilets.

> you just sound like an ignorant idiot who can't read a menu board

You shouldn't have to read a menu board at any coffeeshop, except to check prices. And I'm sorry, but baristas as Starbucks know what a "small dark roast" means just as well as anyone. There is nothing sacrosanct about some stupid company's marketing buzzwords.

>Milk isn't a bad thing, especially since the treatment of the milk can make or break a drink like a cappuccino, a latte or a cortado

Of course it can, but the real interest is always in the actual coffee. Again, milk drinks are like dessert. Nothing wrong with a pastry chef, but what they're doing is secondary in most food programs.

>Drip coffee is generally horrible

You're in Toronto, right? I refuse to believe Toronto doesn't have a single place that knows how to do it right. Find somewhere the uses good beans (Stumptown, Intelligentsia, etc.) and unless they're really stupid you'll get a good cup.

Stumptown House Blend is easily the best coffee to use for a general, basic black drip. It's got the perfect "this is really good *coffee*" balance of complexity and body, to the point where it doesn't even feel like a balance. And if you insist, it holds better through milk than a lot of other coffees.

>>6593529
Unfortunately, it's necessary at places that don't set it out.

>>6593471
The extra amount is really, really negligible, like .0x something percent.

Light roast coffee will, as a rule, have less body but more complex flavors. Most serious shops will be pouring at least fairly light roast coffee right now, and some are even using light roast beans for their espresso.

[Anonymous No.6593640]

>>6593637
Obviously, this is at Tripskank in >>6593526.

[Anonymous No.6593643]

>caring what some minimum wage barista thinks
tell that broke nigga to make it snappy or you gon throw that shit in his face

[Anonymous No.6593663]

is it pretentious to order an iced coffee by calling it a "joe on the rocks"?

[Anonymous No.6593669]

>>6593663
Not pretentious, just stupid

[Anonymous No.6593670]

>>6592821
fucking pleb

[Anonymous No.6593687]

>>6593670
At this point it becomes so desperate, so obviously driven, so audacious and over the top that it becomes awesome.

A friend of mine's laptop broke, but he lived down the block from a coffeeshop, and every day he would tote his full ATX tower down, order a coffee, and go back up and get the peripherals.

Staff loved him.

[Anonymous No.6593703]

>>6592821
what a fag

[Anonymous No.6593708]

>>6592821
>phil fish's next masterpiece .jpg

[Anonymous No.6593783]

>>6593348
>thinking you're a hipster
Confirmed fedora-wearer
Step down.

[Anonymous No.6593810]

>>6593605
I had a friend who was really into coffee and he told me people often referred to the chain as Charbucks because all their beans have to be standardized in some way, and the only way to get them all level is to consistently burn the shit out of all of them.

[Anonymous No.6593820]

>>6593569
i work at a peets too. hate how i can tell just by looking at people who will have a complicated bitchy order and who will be alpha and order coffee black no room. i always make sure to tip my fedora to those people while i hand them their coffee

[Anonymous No.6593823]

>>6593820
>I hate everyone I encounter at work.

[Anonymous No.6593836]

>>6593823
no just people that need to get a half-caf soy 2 pump "venti" frappachino with caramel drizzled on the side of the cup as well as the top, added 2 raw sugars and only 1 coffee bean as opposed to 3.
i mean jesus fuck walter white wouldnt make a drink so dickish

[Anonymous No.6593848]

also, never get the dark roast unless you're in like italy

[Anonymous No.6593856]

>>6593836
Oh gotcha. I thought you were being sarcastic about calling people who order black coffee alpha. Aren't you though?

[Anonymous No.6593859]

related, a reasonably /fa brewing technique

[Anonymous No.6593865]

>>6593859

[Anonymous No.6593869]

>>6593859
pour over is most /fa/... obviously
>pic related

>>6593856
lol not really i appreciate people who don't need to overload their drink on milk, sugars, etc. and can actually appreciate the taste of black coffee.

[Anonymous No.6593885]

>>6593869
man fuck that shitty little hario grinder he's using though. i used it for a while, but if you're a real coffee fiend it'll tear your fucking wrist off

this baby revolutionized my life

[Anonymous No.6594076]

tfw when sister owns cafe so I get free coffee out of a la marzocco all day erryday

[Anonymous No.6594138]

>tfw starbucks barista

[Anonymous No.6594616]

>>6593309
>>6593487