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/fa/ - Fashion

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10024192 No.10024192[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

HI /FA/

I WANT TO KILL MYSELF, BUT I HAVE NO ONE TO TELL

>> No.10024213

Welcome to the club.

>> No.10024216

>>10024192

wanting to kill yourself and killing yourself are two different things

>> No.10024221

>>10024192
Suicide isn't /fa/

>> No.10024222

>>10024216
i know, i know.

I htink Ican doit!

I am not afraid to die.
I don't know why I haven't already.

now I'm just shitting up a board with unrelated trash.

kekking at my life

>> No.10024223

>>10024192
Don't kill yourself.

Talk to a friend or someone in your family before you make an irreversible decision. The bad feelings will eventually pass.

>> No.10024229

>>10024223
I have felt this way since I was 12 I am almost 19 now. I just feel like shit

I should probably delete this thread

>> No.10024230

>>10024222
>I am not afraid to die.


Yeah you are. That's why you're still here, shitposting, and you know it.
Back away, seriously. Get off 4chan for a while and take a fucking nap. You can't even spell words correctly.

>> No.10024237

>>10024229

Got some great news for you.

It doesn't stop at 22 either

>> No.10024244

>>10024230
I'm not shit posting but whatever man.

and I apologize for my typos.

>> No.10024248

>>10024229
>I have felt this way since I was 12 I am almost 19 now.

Consult a therapist. I know that being a 19 year old makes you feel like you know a lot, and that 7 years is a long time (in a sense it is)—but teenagerhood isn't easy for anyone, and killing yourself over it is frankly a bad, irrational decision.


>>10024237
>It doesn't stop at 22 either

22-year-olds on Chinese cartoon sites aren't the wisest of people either. Depression should be treated on a case-by-case basis. Talk to someone, anyone—if you can't bear to talk to a friend or loved one, find a trained counselor or therapist and that person can give you the help you need.

Depression is a disease. It's not you—it's the disease. But for both your sake and the sake of people who care about you—and I guarantee you there are people who care about you, whether you realize and acknowledge that or not—I strongly suggest you find somebody capable and equipped to give you a cure. You'll find a way out, don't worry. It's just that the cure you want probably isn't on the fashion board of a mongolian cartoon website—and certainly not through suicide, either.

>> No.10024258

>>10024248
>find a trained counselor or therapist and that person can give you the help you need.

If you go to a school, they should have people ready for this kind of thing. I don't know about your job or family or life, and I (and neither is anyone else on this board) am not a trained counselor, but even if your job/school (if you attend either one) doesn't have the right help you need right now, you can easily look for it—you're on the internet already.

>> No.10024266

>>10024248
thank you for one talking to me
and two being so rational.

I have seen a few professionals about this issue, nothing ahs really helped and that probably comes down to my defeatist attitude. I don't feel, however, that me being a teenager really has anything to do with it, but you would be forgiven for thinking it is.

I feel as if all of life is deeply ironic, everything I see around me, everyone I speak to makes me sad. I have tried in the last few years, since finding /fa/ to numb this with material goods, and attempted to raise my self esteem with dressing well. nothing seems to work.

every year I tell myself that it will be better , but it never is. I am lonely . not because I lack people around me but because of something which I cannot identify. it is a deep inner loneliness.

>> No.10024272

>>10024229
Talk to a specialist. Consider antidepressants. Eat healthy. Crappy food makes you feel worse. Go outside. Go for walks or just exercise, it helps elevate your mood. Find hobbies so you feel like you are doing something. Lavender is proven to have benefits on depression; consider lavender supplements/tea. Cut out toxic people/things (you might want to consider cutting off on 4chan; I am going to do that soon).

I have felt like shit for years, but I am finally feeling less like shit.

>> No.10024276

I don't want you to kill yourself

I hope you don't do it

>> No.10024277

You should really consider killing some niggers first.

>> No.10024280

>>10024272
thanks, ido most of these things, exercising eating healthy .etc. I might try lavender- will carrying around lavender suffice?

>> No.10024297

>>10024266
>it is a deep inner loneliness.
It's depression.


Now, I do want to ask you a question—and it's quite frankly a question I don't know whether I should ask—but:

Do you feel happy being sad? Do you, in some twisted sense, enjoy the feeling of loneliness and sadness?

You keep using the word "deep", so I'm wondering whether you feel like it gives you some kind of hollow satisfaction, or some kind of sophistication. I can't tell. But you can—maybe that's completely off the mark, in which case, disregard my question.

However.

>I have seen a few professionals about this issue, nothing ahs really helped and that probably comes down to my defeatist attitude.

No, I don't think so. Unless you actively enjoy being depressed to any degree, even in a somewhat subconscious way (which is why I asked whether you enjoyed the feeling of loneliness in any sense), going out of your way to talk to multiple professionals is not a defeatist attitude.

Now, as for the teenagerhood—you've never stopped being a teenager yet. I don't think that being a teenager is the cause of your troubles, but it can affect it. When you have an added layer of maturity in your life, you can deal with things in a different way; you won't be swayed so much with overflowing emotion.

Again, I say—talk to a professional. You tried multiple. Depression can end up being kind of like a cycle—people with depression, or are lonely tend not to interact well with others, and dig a deeper hole. I get that. I was there. But you can pull yourself out of that hole.

Again, as I said, consider getting the services of a counselor. They know better than any of us. And even though you said that they haven't worked so far—what's made you think depression and loneliness is something you can just shake off? It's going to take some time.

1/2

>> No.10024301

>>10024280
I never tried carrying it around. I have anxiety/depression, and I bought a of bag culinary lavender on Amazon to make tea with. Sometimes I take a few buds and chew on it. It helps a lot. I am afraid to go without it.

>> No.10024305

>>10024301
*a bag of lavender

And fucking captcha making me pick out street signs from blurry photos.

>> No.10024307

>>10024297
2/2

But keep your head up; from what I've heard of you, I don't think you're a defeatist guy at all. Struggling through 7 years of depression and loneliness is tough—but you pulled through, and not only that, actively sought help. That's an achievement. Not everybody can do that. If you can fight a disease that much, all by yourself, then you are a strong person with a persevering attitude.

If you can't believe in yourself—though I think you can, and do, in some part of your heart—at least believe in me when I say that I believe in you. I think you can push through this. It's a disease. You can fight it off. It might not be gone tomorrow, but there will be a tomorrow where it will be gone. And making that tomorrow starts today. Get a counselor, or at least someone to talk to. And then you'll be one step closer to being free from that which ails you.

>> No.10024309

>>10024297
i mean deep as in in a part of me that I can't reach.
I do not think it makes me sophisticated, however, I will admit that there is a sense of 'enjoyment' (not that I really think that is the right word), its more that it gives living a kind of meaning. it is like an anchor point.


thanks for your advice

>> No.10024314

>>10024309
>however, I will admit that there is a sense of 'enjoyment' (not that I really think that is the right word), its more that it gives living a kind of meaning. it is like an anchor point.

Yeah, that's what I thought. I don't know whether Albert Camus's book, The Myth of Sisyphus will be of any help, since that's more about finding meaning in a life devoid of meaning in a philosophical context, though he does talk about and explain why one shouldn't commit suicide.


I think this "meaning" that you say is at the heart of the matter. Have you discussed this with any of your previous counselors?

>> No.10024326

>>10024272
And his advice is good.

I'm going to go to sleep, and I suggest you take a nap, too, or a good night's sleep—wherever you are. Maintaining good bodily health is important for mental health, as it's already been pointed out. I'll try to swing by again when I'm up, if this thread is still up.

And again, don't kill yourself and look for help. I know it's tough and at times might feel like it won't work, or maybe, at some weird part of yourself, you're afraid you might BE cured—but a cure really is what you need, and there are people out there ready and willing to give it to you.

>> No.10024329

>>10024314
thanks man- I'm actually quite a fan of philosophy.
I do believe that my issues are existential- in a way this is more confusing.

I have read Camus- and I find his logic to be quite interesting, I will have to give the full text a read though.

>> No.10024334

>>10024192
this is off-topic

see >>>/r9k/ or >>>/b/ for suicide rants

>> No.10024338

>>10024334
sorry, I will delete this thread

>> No.10024348

>>10024329
Then maybe read some Heidegger or Sartre as well. Their ideas concerning how to live might interest you. It's certainly better than using depression or loneliness as, as you call it, an "anchor point".

But most importantly, and I can't emphasize it enough: get a counselor. It's what you need to step out of what you're in right now.

>> No.10024351

>>10024329
absurdism solves it all palinski

>> No.10024354

>>10024338
Also if some assholes on /b/ egg you on, or something, pay them no mind. In fact, I seriously would suggest you against posting stuff on those places. Just back out of 4chan altogether for a while now and then seek some help.

>> No.10024360

>>10024338
>>10024354
https://www.reddit.com/r/suicidewatch

good stuff actually