/fa/ - Fashion

>>6916358

>>6916360

>it took you a year to write THIS poem?

>>6916372
N-no..

>>6916358
Honestly this is so bad, might work for some dumb bitch but from an author's perspective this is the work of an average high school student.

>>6916415
P-pls.. w-where improve..

>>6916422
In my opinion, I would say the areas you could improve in are your style and metaphor choices. I would say that combining your references to Greek mythology/other worldly power and casual use of language doesn't really work, in this case. Simple is better, don't reach so far, if you want to keep the casual slang. It seems so forced. Don't be scared to just simplify it. That's my opinion, and by no means is it law.

>>6916358
I guess the poem is... serviceable. You should know the girl better than me OP. I hate to say this, but I know we get a lot of spaghetti on the chans so...
Don't write poetry for girls you hardly know.
Serenading is a much better idea. The key is to not come off.. .well you know, creepy.

Your poem comes off a bit creepy. Sincerity tends to be taboo nowadays, as ironic as that may seem. Honestly. your best bet is to just talk to her, make her laugh, have fun, take her out to places. events, things she'll enjoy.

Now, onto the actual poem. Personally, I'm an old-fashioned git, I like meters, and sonnets and all that fancy shit. But that shit isn't really needed in love poetry meant to be given to a girl.

Personally, if you're dead set on giving this girl a poem, your best option would be to take your favorite love poem by a renowned poet/ poetical writer (think Lord Byron, Yeats, Poe, etc.)

Personally, I don't think you can go wrong with: "A Red, Red Rose"
" O my Luve's like a red, red rose
That’s newly sprung in June;
O my Luve's like the melodie
That’s sweetly play'd in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I:
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a’ the seas gang dry:

Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi’ the sun:
I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o’ life shall run.

And fare thee well, my only Luve
And fare thee well, a while!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho’ it were ten thousand mile."

Basic bitch poem
Where's the slant rhymes

I wrote this poem for the grill of my dreams plz rebond:


Yo trick ass hoe suck my dick
on yo knees or yo ass I will kick

I hate your fit, 2/10, pointy elbows
you look like a fat piece of shit in all your clothes

You may think your hot shit but you're nothing to me
cuz I got Ann D
and Yohji
and sruli reckt

On your knees, and dont talk back or your ass and my limited edition sruli dildo -- will connect.

P.S. you look like turnleft, hash sign, rekt.

>>6917785
#based

>>6917797
im sending it to eyebrows thats why I said ass instead of vagina

>>6917785
>cuz I got Ann D
>and Yohji
>and sruli reckt
the funny part is that you don't own any of these

>>6917833
the rappers rapping about their millions of $$$ and mansions don't rly own that either

>>6917785
n11n1nn1n1n1n1n1n1n1n1n1n1n1n

>>6917833
>>6917842

It's all 'bout fronting, fake it till you make it and if your music is good enough you'll earn your status.

Like Death Grips. They came out guns blazing, got a contract, and through that fucking gr8 song on The Money Store; Hustle Bones. You know. The song where they gloat for a quick moment about how they're better than all the otha niggas because they're making $$$ with their label. That then dropped them, but fuuuuuuck nobody cares because THEY SO GOOD

>>6917833
>>6917833
#shotsfired

>>6917865
we sieg now

>>6917865
terrible handwriting
not /fa/

>>6917876
sorry I was busy banging your mum while I was writing and reking you by being right.

>>6917865
#anndominated

>>6917842
b-b-but they're honest!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAeAp9MzPtk

>>6917879
#fuckingethered

I love you, Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ, I love you, yes I do.

>>6917860
>the song where they gloat for a quick moment about how they're better than all the otha niggas because they're making $$$ with their label
what part was that?

ps Get Goth and System Blower were the best songs on that album

>>6917885
get got** lmao

>>6917885

http://rapgenius.com/Death-grips-hustle-bones-lyrics

This pretty much breaks it down.
"hustle bones comin' out my mouth" = When I open my mouth I hustle and make them bones (dosh)

>>6917885
(the intro to punk weight is my favorite)
(and Exmilitary is their best album)
(5d was pure sex)

>>6917885
>>6917957
>>6918028

oh no, the plebs from mu with shit taste have infested our board

DEF GRIPZ SO GOOD HUSTLE BUNS

>>6918041
HURR I'M A NOBODY TALKING SHIT ABOUT A HAPPENING GOOD BAND BECAUSE I LISTEN TO BETTER/SHITTIER MUSIC AND HAVE DIFFERENT/NO/SHIT TASTE

stfu faggot or actually post something related to the OP,