/fa/ - Fashion

Alpha male reporting in - don't know your autist feel

>>6213586
please go. you sound like a faggot that wears john varvatos and levis.

>>6213586
it's fucking bad because i don't feel like i'm socially retarded, but i surely am because i'm obv not doing it right.

thanks for responding

>>6213594
Are you OP? No wonder you have trouble interacting with people. Alpha male - out

i hate being ignored.

i mean, everyone on 4chan should know my feels but nobody is in my thread.. i dont get it :(

im even posting fa pics

>>6213666
/fa/ is different from /b/, i suggest you go back

When I was a freshman in high school, maybe.

>>>/r9k/
>>>/b/

>>6213681
i want some advice from you guys because you're doing it right

>>6213700
>>6213700
its probably my face tho

im not ugly but im pretty sure i have a punchable face

i want too much attention

>>6213700
Okay, OP. I don't mind giving advice, but I need YOUR help by being extremely specific, and I will then do the best I can

>>6213717
thanks :)

i have friends but i cant get their attention. i never have long conversations. i always feel like whenever i say something i'm forcing it.

i was just out with some friends i see from time to time and i thought we were having a good time. i said some stupid shit but we were laughing and it was all well until i saw a girl i havent seen in ages. my 'friends' were just leaving for some other pub as i was talking to her (im kissless virgin btw (if you havent noticed)))). when i saw they have already left i tried to call them but they literally cancelled my calls.

i never want to offend anyones feelings when im talking and i never want anyone to feel left out...
it would prolly be much easier if i acted like a jerk and treated everyone badly.. idk tho, my friends dont act like jerks when im around. i like their company.

Eat some meat and man the Fuck up

-America's Sweetheart

>>6213808
i really dont eat meat lel.

i have heartburn and going full vegan helped a lot :)

>>6213818
gain confidence and get into an interest that will expand your knowledge so u can bore them with it or talk about how drunk you were,if they are those pipo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W34wyKZlWQ

thats me on the right

>>6213882
what is it im watching twerk videos and sports

>>6213878
i dont feel like it's an intrest tho. cant you get along if you dont have anything in common.

i have a few friends im relatively cool with and they are fair to me, yet we have very little in common. i just tend to stay away from subjects
that might irritate them.

>>6213580
>does anyone else feel like you dont know what you're doing wrong when interacting with other people, but it just feels like you're not doing it right

>4chan

i think the best thing i ever did for my shyness was getting a job in customer service

i don't give a single fuck anymore

>>6213784
>they literally cancelled my calls.

that's harsh bro

geez

>>6213909
exactly

yet nobody is ITT

am i that boring god damn?

>>6213910
might do something like that yea :D

>>6213947
das me just testing

>>6213900
thats your problem you are so afraid of what anyone else will say you wont even say it
being edgy doesnt hurt

>>6213784
>>6213784
i sort of know the feeling
ever since i started university i find it hard to find people i have "chemistry" with. i have friends i sit next to in lectures, but i feel something is missing.
every time i talk to other people i have to keep initiating. i feel that they don't really want to talk to me so i stop.

>>6213921
yeah... the sad part is they'll be acting like it was nothing and they'll be all friendly with me cracking jokes and shit.
if only i had someone else to play basketball with :(

>>6213925
I feel a lot like you. But I understood that the key is to gain confidence.
So that's what I'm trying to do for some time now. It actually works. It's as easy as forcing yourself to stop thinking about others, forcing yourself to feel good about your body, forcing yourself to talk to people, forcing yourself to look people in the eye and smile, forcing yourself to say more than necessary, forcing yourself to say nice stuff, even though you don't mean it. Eventually it will work naturally. Can't say I made it. But I have these days I feel absolutely brilliant around other people. Never felt that before in my life, so it might be the right way.

>>6213966
no man don't put up with that

unless you were being downright mean to them there's no excuse for that kind of behavior

you know what? I used to fucking hate myself and be shy as hell. I hung out with shitty people that treated me like shit when I was straight up surrounded by people who were happy to hang out with me, but I was so stuck with this self destructive belief that I was a piece of shit (that pretty much got put into my head by these friends) that I was terrified of trying to get close to new people. When I finally got into a place where I could make new friends, I started hanging out with kind and supportive people. I've never felt better or more confident since I ditched those toxic motherfuckers. That's what you need to do.

>>6213971
yo peeps btw

does anybody catch themselves asking other people questions you already already know the answer to for no particular reason? Idk maybe I just want to talk to people and have friends so I ask unnecessary questions

tbh you might actually be autistic

>>6213991
Yes, I do that and I know it's stupid, but I just can't bear silence.

>>6213991
i might do that to someone i don't know
ask a question that's not so usual for a stranger to ask
now you have built a little rapport and can use it as a tiny springboard for more conversation.

>>6213985
>no man don't put up with that
>unless you were being downright mean to them there's no excuse for that kind of behavior
>since I ditched those toxic motherfuckers. >That's what you need to do.

hard to do when you practically HAVE to hang out with people from your school if you don't want to feel completely left out and considered a social failure, and they're all really dumb and only interested in video games or other things you don't really like and you have nobody else to talk to about fashion and music and movies and art and politics or whatever you like except the goddamn internet, and you love being on the internet but you it's not good because your social skills are slowly dying with every Friday night you spend at home watching movies alone. It doesn't help when your parents are overprotective and don't let you do anything even though you're not even a fucking minor anymore.

thank god high school is almost over holy shit was it terrible

I'm totally socially retarded. But I work out and dress well, so people think that I pull lots of ass. Which makes me even less approachable.

I stopped giving a shit a long time ago. Luckily, I'm a pretty damn good options trader, so I make good money without even leaving my house. I go out every few days and spend frivolously at random places around Chicago.

This is my life.

Oh yeah, I'm usually drunk too. Drunk driving is sort of a hobby of mine. I like to have a bottle of red wine, hop in my car around 10pm, turn the subs up just the right amount, and cruise around smoking cigarettes.

>>6214004
Yeah that's a good point.

Those toxic motherfuckers were from high school.

And yet, I was so fucking popular at my high school and I didn't realize it until it was too late.

>>6214005
With the windows up and only the moonroof open, of course. Don't like it when people look at me.

>>6214010
>Those toxic motherfuckers were from high school.
>And yet, I was so fucking popular at my high school and I didn't realize it until it was too late.

dude we are eerily similar
thoug the situation has changed
last year i was actually one of the most popular guys at school, i literally had to decline offers from men and women every month (still a virgin btw very picky for some reason). I was frinds with the cool guys in senior year but now they're all gone and i have to settle with these dumb fucks that still make "your mom is a whore" and "you're gay" jokes every single day, so idk i just became more closed in on myself, deleted all my facebook pictures and stopped flirting with anybody because i only want to get out of here with the least scratches possible

>>6214023
Do you realize how sheltered and lame you sound?

I'm just trying to get out of my suburban high school without getting raped, guys.
I deleted my facebook, guys.
Guys
Guys

>>6214023
kill urslef man

>>6214035
pls

>>6213947
>>6213971
>>6213948
yeah... but im genuinely interested in what other people are saying but i seem to be giving some vibes that turn people away from me. (my face, idk).

whenever i have to say something it's almost always only a sentence or two. id gladly say more if i felt they were interested too. usually they start looking away like they know ill say something boring

>>6213985
>>6214004
>>6213947
>>6213971
>>6213948
yeah... but im genuinely interested in what other people are saying but i seem to be giving some vibes that turn people away from me. (my face, idk).

whenever i have to say something it's almost always only a sentence or two. id gladly say more if i felt they were interested too.

>>6213985
i agree.
i have friends im really cool with and they care about me, but i can only see them max two times a week.

'friends' im talking about are from my hometown.

>>6214005
>I'm totally socially retarded. But I work out and dress well, so people think that I pull lots of ass. Which makes me even less approachable.
i feel that way too, but im not sure if im too cocky.
i want to be approchable, always cheerful b tho. i meditate and i feel like ive loosened up a bit

>>6213993
no, im not but i have ad

>>6213580
i used to have this problem. the way i dealt with it, is try to be less offensive. i mean, make sure you smell good, brush your teeth, try to dress good, shit like that. then just try to be funny, and dont give a fuck if people get offended, dont be rude, but dont be overly cautious. obviously do apologize if someone gets offended. and be aware of social cues. if it seems like your bothering someone, cut that shit out.
after the incident, ask someone who was there what you did wrong, and then just apologize, and explain you didnt realize, to the person you bothered.

>>6214043
dont give a fuck is the hard part

>>6214046
just dont make jokes about sensitive topics. like religion. if you cant talk about your dog, for example, because your afraid the person your talking to had a dog, but it died, then youll never be able to talk. you can probably think of a reason not to say anything if you try hard enough.

>>6214005
I like you. You seem a lot like me. Except I'm a lot more weird and instead of driving around drunk I get retardedly high on weed/dxm/xanax/any pills that are available and explore NYC by foot.

>>6214023
im just starting to realize how retarded i was.. i was flirting with the objectively hottest chicks in my hs. they literally begged me to fuck them, but i was too picky.

here i am now at 23 and i never had sex, so pleaseeee get your dick wet asap

>>6214086
With the subs turned way the fuck up, of course.

>>6214072
I used to do shit tons of drugs, too. Went to rehab and the psych ward.

I'll still do 900mg DXM from time-to-time and trade the Japanese markets for lulz.

General Response to all those feeling OPs feels.

People create and maintain relations based on values. The most transparent example is a gold digger and a guy wanting a trophy wife. However this exchange is true in most friendships except instead of money for sex it is usually just mutual enjoyment of the other person's company. If you aren't funny, interesting or otherwise desirable to be around people are not obligated to be your friends.

Often times too people like OP feel they are nice and inoffensive but in reality they spend so much time neutering their personality because they lack confidence in themselves. No one wants to hang out with a fake, plastic, shell of a person (lol unless they have value in other ways). The solution in this case is simple to not give a fuck. In terms of the OP this is easy, he says he has a few good friends so he should be unafraid of what other people think. Once you stop trying to make people like you, more people will like "you" because you will act yourself not some mannequin. Although this really only applies to you aspie fucks, if you are competent social and can read social cues effectively you can be as fake as you are able to pull off but as long as people think you have the qualities I mentioned above that's fine.

Or there is the second, sadder case. In some cases certain people are just annoying faggots. I don't even say it to be mean but I've had people in my own life who were pleasant enough in terms of how they conducted themselves but just had absolutely grating personalities. IF this is the case I don't even know what to say just stop sucking? Get funnier, better at holding conversation, more interesting and, like the first case, more confident as well.

This is just my two cents, I'm not claiming to be alpha-male, pickup artist, whatever. I'm just a guy who used to feel as autistic as OP before figuring shit out. The only way is trial and error and OP was in high school so maybe he'll grow out of it.

>>6214005
>I'm totally socially retarded. But I work out and dress well, so people think that I pull lots of ass. Which makes me even less approachable.
Can relate, and I just recently realised I'm pretty goodlooking and that might be the reason why people initially are very kind initially.
Also I think I should start trying to get more ass, I think it would be quite easy, but I have noe idea on how to go about it.
Everytime I've had sex, she's been initiating.

>>6214092
If you are good looking it is really as simple as talking to a girl, if she seems to like you ask for her number to do something sometime.

>>6214091
>The solution in this case is simple to not give a fuck
>stopped reading there
SO DEEP AND EDGY ANON

>>6214092
I'm the guy you quoted. Same with me.

I give women 0 attention. I manage to get laid every few months, but she basically has to jump me. Last time I got laid, I was waiting for a train reading a book because fuck driving to and parking in Chicago at 5pm on a Friday and this college girl (UC, I think) comes up to me me and starts talking.

I was weirder out at first because I assume that anyone who talks to me wants something, so I subtly implied that she should fuck off. We were fucking 3 hours later and watches Cabin in the Woods, which was hilarious actually.

She was pretty cool. Never saw her again.

>>6214091
>Or there is the second, sadder case. In some cases certain people are just annoying faggots. I don't even say it to be mean but I've had people in my own life who were pleasant enough in terms of how they conducted themselves but just had absolutely grating personalities. IF this is the case I don't even know what to say just stop sucking? Get funnier, better at holding conversation, more interesting and, like the first case, more confident as well.


How the fuck do I deal with these kinds of people?

It feels so cruel to completely blow off a really good person just because I can't deal with their idiosyncrasies.

Is it just me or do you start talking to a random person and try to be friend but then they start to bore the fuck out of you
>pic not related

figure out what a person "wants" in any particular situation.
use this to manipulate them into benefiting your own needs.

>not letting ppl come to you
apply yourself op

>>6214113
dat thigh gap
HNNNGGGGGGGGG

OP read Carnegie Dale's book on How to Win Friends and Influence People. It's a pretty good read. Other than that, I can only tell you not to be self-conscious: everyone is more concerned about themselves than anyone else.

>>6214099
Not trying to be either, just stating what my experiences suggest to be true. If you are constantly worried, and I mean an undue amount, about what other people think of you at any moment you will probably have worse social skills. When you are doubting your every thought, when you end up holding your tongue or saying stupid shit that means nothing to you or anyone else you know you care too much about other people.

I'm just saying I used to be this way. A combination of confidence, drugs, and just practice taught me not to care as much and socially my life has been way better.

Maybe it doesn't work for everyone or this was specific to my own issues in life, but I feel its a fairly valid suggestion to someone with the issues OP describes, because I had those same problems.

Often the reason something is cliched is because it is true.

>>6214137
>>6214137
This
It's called the spot light effect
google it op

>>6214086
>>6214088
I am probably heading in that direction, heh. Extremely addictive personality but I like drugs way too much.

But yes DXM is a fucking magical drug man. There is nothing like it in terms of making you feel like you are IN whatever you are listening to/watching. It's best to have those high plat trips when you are really interested in a book/movie/artist/a girl/anything really.

>>6214091
thanks b, this was a very good read :)
i agree and aknowledge my faults. ill give less fucks from now on and i really feel like this thread helped me heaps.

>>6214092
i too feel like people are initially very friendly but after some time i spend with them i feel like they realize how retarded i am and they start to treat me differently

>>6214159
Maybe you are retarded
Maybe you should read a book

>>6214156
I like to take 1200mg (high tolerance) and watch the news sometimes. I find myself just sitting on my couch and yelling, "THIS IS THE WORLD WE LIVE IN!"

Just be careful with the drugs. I ended up ODing on heroin, liquor, and xanax and spending two weeks in the ICU. Half a milli in hospital bills I don't intend to pay because I only pay with cash.

>>6214111
The way I justify it to myself is by acknowledging why I associate with people. It isn't for vague, ambiguous moral reasons of who is "good" or "bad" or even who deserves to be talked to. I am obligated only by my own desires. Pity is the worst emotion, would you want someone talking to you just to "be nice" to someone they view as inferior? I would not, and so I treat people the same way.

If I like you and want to talk or be with you I will. If I don't, I will be polite but most likely disregard the person and show clearly I will never initiate anything with them. That said I'm not some misanthropic cunt, I'm very tolerant and like to befriend and socialize with 99% of people I meet (though obviously on varying levels of closeness)
.

I do sometimes. Just in situations I've never ever been in.

I led a very sheltered life for most of my childhood. I was kind of socially retarded for a while.

>>6214137
yup read that for life success
and also DL pdf called "book of pook"
for success with women.

How to Win Friends is kinda self explanatory, but it's cool it was written in the 30s and could've been released yesterday.

>>6214190
Human DNA hasn't changed my nigga.

>>6214137
i read that and yeah quite a good read for a title that bad :)

meditation has been really beneficial for me. although i still give fucks all over the place i at least see where im giving them.

>>6214156
>There is nothing like it in terms of making you feel like you are IN whatever you are listening to/watching
try meditating

Calming Your Anxious Mind by Jeffrey Brantley is a great book for beginners.

>>6214168
I think this is key. OP said he meditates I believe? I can't speak to that but I find focused self reflection is very helpful and how I come to understand and figure out life. Think of your flaws, not to feel bad but how to improve. Train yourself mentally to be a better more interesting person. You don't have to be smart, but it helps to at least be well read and capable of reasoning. If you can default to a saying something funny or intelligent or just interesting you are simply more fun to be around, at least on the superficial level we are discussing for the purposes of just making acquaintances.

>>6214181
I mean, in the end, that's how I behave. It just seems so damn unfair. Whenever I meet someone like this, I'm not the only one, no one can stand that person. And that's fine and all if they're a prick, but what if they're a kind, hardworking and polite person who just... sucks? They don't get to have friends?

I'm not a damn saint so I'm not going to take it upon myself to be their buddy but it's just depressing to see.

>>6214168
i often feel stupid when im around ppl

anyone else feels like lil debbie improved a lot?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx6Ho8ylrOo

>>6214205
>>6214205
I mean I guess I just feel the burden is on them to improve then just as I did to myself. Also maybe I am projecting onto them. Maybe they are happy with themselves and who am I to tell them otherwise.

I know this is kinda getting of topic, but since we've already gotten into meditation and DXM, i'll ask.

What are your opinions on dream analysis?
does anyone believe any particular source?

sometimes they seems so random but sometimes you get stuck feeling them all day.

>>6214004
Yo, feel ya there, spent too much time on the internet as a kid and now my tastes and interests have developed far away from whatever everyone else is into.
There's not much do around here anyway, but it's become a large effort to communicate with the vapid kids around here, and I'm always worried my artificial attempts are transparent, because they are very half-assed and lazy. Only on adderall I've the energy and self-confidence (b/c the constant worry of appearing as pretentious or eccentric) to push conversations toward a genuine discussion.

But I've got a couple good friends at my school who are developing sincerely, and we've all managed to work on our aesthetic appearance to the point where people are generally interested and appreciative, rather than being disregarded, so we can easily make superficial connections and relationships with people we choose to for whatever reason.
Only from a distance though, I've too much social anxiety to force a connection on a personal level with somebody I don't respect. Sure, it's my own fault for holding a high standard in a direction most have no interest in, but anytime I lower it (ie for a sexual relationship), I'll quickly get disillusioned. And I wouldn't hold anyone to an unrealistic ideal, I know many people of a taste, intellect, honesty I can respect, just the boundaries placed by my very paranoid, anxiety ridden mother and where I am make it hard to hold a physical relationship with. It's not like I haven't tested out the various scenes around here, it's pretty easy to not care when drunk or tripping but I've been mostly isolated these days, spending my time consuming, re-shaping myself.
I'm pretty sure I'll be able to find a scene I'm comfortable with in the future. I don't know about grad school though, I'm graduating hs this year but am going to community college this next year.

>>6214219
i once dreamt i found a pair of raf velcros at TK Maxx (TJ Maxx for you americans)
i was pretty sad when i woke up :(

but no i think dream analysis is bullshit personally

>>6214205
>And that's fine and all if they're a prick, but what if they're a kind, hardworking and polite person who just... sucks? They don't get to have friends?
i think i get along with outcasts way better than other ppl. they seem more real and are not afraid to show their true emotions. thats also probably why im so cool with them because i think i know what they think about me.

>>6214234
I don't think that you and I are describing the same kind of people.

ITT: self-awareness to the maxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>>6214237
outcast is not the word i should have used.

>>6214269
i meant outcasts too but also people you had in mind

>>6214230
ha ive had dreams that there is this giant warehouse full of dead stock clothes in huge piles and you pay by the bag.

>>6214219
imo dreams are just continuation of our mind when we are awake.
if you are sincere with yourself you can see in what kind of mood you are even when you are awake (mostly we are trying way too hard to feel a certain way).

i try not to pay much attention to the chatter in my head even when i am awake (yet i made this thread), but i aknowledge and accept it. same goes for my dreams.
i try to focus on sounds instead as much as i can.

>>6214324
also, i used to have really dark dreams in hs, colors were usually brownish, i was often running away and shit. it was all quite depressing, yet i thought i was happy when i was awake.

>had dream that my ex of 6 months (who i dont even think about anymore) was in wheel chair
>in the dream i speak to her cuz i feel bad about her wheelchair
>we catch up and stuff, and i feel at peace with everything, but sad as fuck she can't walk.
>im happy she's able to be positive.

wake up
feels at maximum

>try to remember why exactly she can't walk
>realize that was just in the dream
>remember she's "lesbian" now
>her being lesbo vs not having legs feels about the same
>mfw

>>6214224
Oh but yknow
>hard to do when you practically HAVE to hang out with people from your school if you don't want to feel completely left out and considered a social failure

See, in my case I don't really care. People are happy to hang out with me, but I don't want to, and I'd generally do a piss poor job of having a good time with them, without the involvement of drugs, or sex. If you're going to waste your free time brooding over your position in school and watching shitty movies or facilitating your lack of a social life with internet relationships, then you're just filling yourself up with toxic influences, ones that aren't even relatable for others.
If you cultivate something of interest, a tasteful eye or whatever, the average diluted cliche can see that, even if they don't fully understand it, they can recognize there's something valuable there and they'll want your friendship, even if it just means getting to come along to some so cool show in LA. If all you've to offer is a mopey soul filled up with emotional baggage and a bland, though deviant, taste in shit, no one's going to care. I don't know, just don't go fucking reading Dale Carnegie and pua and self-help motivational bullshit, that's fucking toxic, that's awful and artificial as hell, that's far worse than a diluted, commercial life of passive intake, and stop using the fucking internet to fill up holes in your social life. What a shit existence you're building for yourself.

>>6214356
damn man

Guys, I quite college two months ago to build a portofolio of works for a school I'm applying to later.

It's been over a month since I've talked to anyone and I can feel myself going full tinfoil already. I've had my cellphone battery removed for almost 3 weeks, even though my phone doesn't even have a gps tracker or internet connection and I also travel like 5 miles to use different ATMs.

What the fuck do I do? I'm feeling myself becoming afraid of everything around me. I can't get any work done and I've already started alienating all my friends. I just spend all my time working at and trying to find new ways to improve my privacy.

>>6214642
find the right drug, to push you towards producing your portfolio. you've isolated yourself for the sake of your work, not get all anxious and lonely.

those feels
it's gotten so bad recently i don't even know how i'm going to accomplish anything or move forward in life.
whats the most /fa/ way to off yourself

>>6214858
OD.

Suicide itself is incredibly uneffay in itself unless you're famous for something.

Yea, my social anxiety got so bad that I dropped out of college after a semester. I use to have girls ask me out and show interest in me in high school, but I'd never go through with it due to my asperger tendencies. I've tried benzos before and that's the only time I've felt "normal". I think girls just thought I was cute and shy instead of being mentally ill. Now I'm 20 and wasting away in my parents basement without even ever getting a handjob.

>>6214642
You should probably see a psychiatrist while your still sane. I feel like it's a bit late for me. What are you building a portfolio for out of curiosity? I'm in a similar situation, but I've been out of college for a long time now, and just started building my portfolio up.

>>6215023
how do you support yourself?

i remembered one incident where i might have fucked up yesterday. there was one dude who was picking numbers from random girls all over the place and he got one from every fourth girl and i made a really stupid remark asking if the girls whose numbers he got are all ugly and fat (we were p drunk by that time). there was one dude with us who was kinda big, who might got offended. it didnt seem like it, we had a few more laughs on the topic.

>>6215725
okay cool

>>6215725
today i was playing ball and my friend high fived his team mate, i was right behind my friend and i went for a high five too but he didn't see it coming and then once he realized why i stuck my hands out towards him he said ' oh sorry' and i laughed and he laughed and then i went to drink some water. also, i already high fived him and said 'good game' after the game was done. am i weird?

>>6215883

>>6215883
>being this autistic

>>6215883
look im gonna be honest with you man to man
if my "friend" woulda slacked on a high five id cut him out my life completely.

no looking back i dont play around with fake friends and/or clowns man real talk

>>6213580

>tfw when unattractive and socially awkward

I know what my problem is.

>>6215883