/fa/ - Fashion

Short story accompanied by a myriad of confusing feels:

>be me a /vg/ tier aspie nerd
>considered solitude and the loneliness that came with it a fair trade off for not having to deal with the daily human interaction I despised
>start browsing fit and fa and get convinced my life is sad and pointless and that my misanthropy was just a defense mechanism for my social ineptitude and fear of rejection/failure

So I do the fit thing and I try to learn from fa

>tfw its my birthday today
>lost my virginity
>went from aspie to successfully integrated member of human society in about 3 months

but wait...

>still just as unhappy
>I feel like I do more pointless shit now than ever just because it is part of social convention
>everything feels so contrived and I miss being alone

Though I know if I go back to what I was before I'll end up in the same state again. I have no idea what to do now and this is probably the bitchiest thing I have ever typed in my life but I guess my purpose for saying all this useless information is that I think no matter what, its hard to be happy. If you told me a few months ago how my birthday would be today I would expect to be ecstatic but I feel as happy now as I did then.

Idk if that is supposed to make you feel better or worse or just help you realize that their are people more autistic than you (as evidenced by this post)