/fa/ - Fashion

>current stats
164cm (5'5) 49kg (108lbs) 20f
>highest weight
65kg (143lbs)
>goal weight
47kg(103lbs)

My thinnest was 46.5kg, had a bmi of 17.3. I felt so shitty back then, always weak and hungry, lost my period. I was so stressed and I remember I once cried on the street because I was so fucking hungry and I was afraid to eat anything.
Fast forward 6 month later I was on birth control to get my period back, binge ate a lot and gained over 10kg.
Felt I looked like shit and start losing again, slowly got back to where I am now. I started to feel hungry too often again and the urge to binge is getting stronger with this underweight BMI. I don't look good but it's not so bad either. I'm too afraid to stop or to keep going. I don't know what to do.