/fa/ - Fashion

>>12616548
Missed this. It's all kinds of wrong. I thought I was invincible, I could have easily refused the tube and just spent months and months still losing but ultimately it would have gotten me into the same position, so I gave recovery a shot and tried real hard. Problem is you don't ever stop thinking about numbers, about weight, and when you get rid of those things and try to face up to what you're using those things to hide from... it gets a lot tougher. Eating disorders are like a shitty safety net. And when that facade fades it clings onto the fact that it has become such an ingrained fear, compulsion and obsession that stopping feels impossible. I feel better underweight. It's cowardly and just as edgey but I'd rather just eat little and not have to think about the bigger issues because I don't have any other way of dealing with them

idk if that makes sense? It's a dumb and liferuining illness yeah. But it's an illness, and it's a really strong one. People don't stay ill for no reason.