Reminded me of this green text.
>Be Hank Hill
>King of the Hill
>Own an ass-inine pet called a "Fluh-fhee Poneyyy", after succumbing to the constant whining of your not-so-good babbeh, Bobby.
>You are dissapoint in your son, but he is all you got, given your narrow-URETHRA.
>The definition of annoying shoulda been amendended with insufferable for this sin against God.
>However, with your son's attatchment and your feminazi methodist preacher's opinion, you are forced to tolerate the baggage.
>Shitting, whining, and crying.
>You are certain that your precious Lady Bird died from dysentary brought on by your "son's" new pet.
>You couldn't do much but secretly cry when Lady Bird died.
>Ever since then, this fluffy has made life increasingly miserable. Pushing you further towards the edge.
>Where you might use propane in a way that would shame Buck Strickland, and even God.
>One day you are having an Alamo Beer with your friends. Dale ,BOOMhauer and Bill.
>"Yep, yep, UHM-mmm, yep.
>Suddenly, a woman's cries sieze your collective attention.
>"Oh... Oh... HO-YEAH!"
>"Dang ol dang dang mooga boshirhgaohgro, what was dat... ol Hank-ol?", inquires Boomhauer.
>"I dunno, Boomhauer. Nancy didn't have a healing session with John Redcorn today, so it didn't come from my house. Hank? Whus going on?", replies Dale Cuckhold.
>"OH MAH GAWD!", exclaims Honk Hall.
>"Ooooooh, sounds like Peggy's havin a gud time", coos Bill Cucktrieve.
>While in collective shock, a unicorn fluffy with light brown fluff and jet black mane approaches the shocked group.
>"Tee-hee, soopa smawtie gib bestest speciaw huggsies to dummeh hoomins speciaw fwend. Make hew gib speciaw, speciaw pwace wawas an shakies. Dummeh hoomin es hoomin cuck naow!"