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/diy/ - Do-It-Yourself

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1665101 No.1665101 [Reply] [Original] [archived.moe]

How the fuck do I get rid of the "man smell" in my apartment?

>I've opened up my windows and suffered mosquites for days and still nothing.
>Candles don't do shit.
>Spray is only good for like a minute.

>> No.1665103

Stop jerking off.

>> No.1665104

clean everything

>> No.1665106

I did. Still smells like man.

Should I just nuke everything with spray?

>> No.1665107

It's cum I am sure of it burn your house down or clean ur cum up when you cum

>> No.1665109

I mean, there's cum stains on the walls behind my bed I can't seem to wash or scrub off. But believe me, it's not cum.

>> No.1665114

Maybe you have cumfungus overgrowth?

>> No.1665187

paint the walls, change the carpet, change mattress, furniture too, wash bedsheets every week. and buy some ikea formaldehyde smell in that bitch and get a gf

>> No.1665265

Gf and poonhound friend are the ones that complain to me that is smells like man.

I smell it whenever I get back after staying over at someone else's place.

It just kinda smells like sweaty man.

Which kinda makes sense, given that it's a 400 sqft studio where I fry chicken and exercise.

Anyways, bed is a no go since I spend $600 on a king a year ago. There are no carpets. Furniture is expensive brazillian shit, I wash my bedsheets every other week.

I'm thinking just leaving it open for a week while I live with my parents and then using smelly oil shit from Bath and Body works 'til it smells decent.

>> No.1665301

>a 400 sqft studio where I fry chicken and exercise.
Clean wherever you exercise, retard.

>> No.1665303
File: 24 KB, 512x512, 14COhR2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>>400sqft studio
>>42 sqft bed

>> No.1665310

essential oil mixed with water spray everything. wash everything that can be. shampoo carpets new matress pillows I'd it's time for that. clean everything. just wipe it with the water oil spray, or soap and water. once you do this keep everything ventilated we'll try putting fans in your windows

>> No.1665325

Take a shower every day for starters, incel.

>> No.1665330

Firstly, clear up laundry.
Secondly, identify anything wet. You then dry, discard, or fully wash.
Thirdly, get some solution of quatz (home depot has zepp's), dilute and spray any fabric-cushion which you sit on

>> No.1665348


>> No.1665355


Literally take more showers, clean, and do laundry more OP, it's not fucking rocket science. Your sweat and the bacteria you let eat it is what stinks, clean up sweaty shit.

Bedsheets should be washed weekly, try an airtight tub as a dirty clothes hamper, and get a fan for some airflow in your rat trap apartment!

>> No.1665384 [DELETED] 

Sex change.

>> No.1665415

Get two spray bottles, fill one with white vinegar, the other with 3% hydrogen peroxide. Spray both at the same time on stinky object. Some kind of chemical reaction takes place that destroys odor - even works on skunk pee.

>> No.1665421

OP here. Great suggestions, guys. I'll give them all a try out.

If where I sit is an issue, then the rolling chair in front of my computer might be a culprit.

Wet clothes can't be it, because I have an outside section for that, where the trash bin is also. Dirty clothes also can't be it, because they're in a milk crate with a trash bag in my closet and I wash often.

Girls like big beds. No, for real. It's also cute when they keep stealing what is clearly your side of the bed.

Yeah, I mop every week.

Also, instead of telling people to
>Clean wherever you excercise, retard
You should instead say
>Clean wherever you exercise. Are you okay, retard?

Nah. I've done that and I end up smelling like shit way easier than usual as a result. Hair also gets dry and niggery.

I alternate between a full on shower and a polack shower.


>> No.1665444

how do I diy a gf to smell my nasty apartment

>> No.1665450

OP here. You have to have them like you smelling at your worst.

>> No.1665452

Sex change dude.

>> No.1665456

But how will that fix your problems? Ohhh, you sneaky fuck. I see what you're doing.

Not even in your dreams, bucko.

>> No.1665466

>man smell

>> No.1665527

Yes. I'm homosex. How you?

>> No.1665529

the stank bacteria grow on *everything* in this season. until winter comes, daily FULL showering with use of SOAP, daily laundry washing, daily airing-out of bedding and towels, constant ventilation of the house is a non-negotiable requirement. depending on how much of a slime trail you're leaving, you might even have to trash your shoes and computer chair, and get your car steam cleaned.

>> No.1665538

Clean the carpets and paint the walls and ceilings

>> No.1665545

Get out of the room

>> No.1665552

I live in a tropical climate, so I think they grow all the time. It wasn't a problem a year ago, I dunno what changed.

Will think about that.

>> No.1665609

Is your home carpeted? Maybe shamoo the carpets? My grandmother has a similar problem with "cat smell." After she had the carpets cleaned, the house smelled much better.

>> No.1665764

Humidity control
-never lay on bed, sofa or anything without clothes on, put a towel on them if needed
-get moisture absorvers
-have you windows open before doing smelly shit
-dry yourself after exercise on a towel and wash it, don't leave it to dry inside the house
-don't get sweat anywhere
-have opening on opposite sides of your home so air can circulate
-get a ventilator/humidifier, some of these can do some smell removal

>> No.1665782

How to kill yourself (tm)

>> No.1665799

have you tried an air purifier, like an ionic breeze? they will keep the air clean af, and a lot harder to smell. also try a dehumidifier.

>> No.1665800

yea. actually dirty laundry and sheets could be the culprit.

>> No.1665801

If you have carpet, buy (or rent) a carpet shampoo-er. Should clean some of the stank out from underneath. Also try oxyclean or baking soda when scrubbing your shit.

>> No.1665810

Throw mothballs everywhere. Bam. Now your house will smell like Grandma.

>> No.1667307

shower/ every day

>> No.1668048

bleach walls+ceiling, ozone generator
>I wash my bedsheets every other week.
not good enough

>> No.1668109

>It wasn't a problem a year ago, I dunno what changed.

>Anyways, bed is a no go since I spend $600 on a king a year ago.

Seems pretty obvious to me.

>> No.1668114

Wash your bedsheets, pillow cases and other sweat collecting fabrics like your computer chair. Bet the seat smells like man ass

>> No.1668115

Also open a window

>> No.1668955

Baking soda my dude. Just put boxes all over the house for a week or two

>> No.1668961

This, also sprinkle it on the carpet/furniture, let it sit for a bit and vacuum it all up. I do it once every 3 or 4 months, with dogs, kids, myself, all those smells go away. You can also take a cotton ball, put some pure peppermint / lemon oil on it, that creates a pleasant smell.

>> No.1668985

New sheets. Have your cushions cleaned. You can rent carpet cleaners from most hardware and grocery stores. Consider buying incense candles that arent from the grocery store, but actually meant for tackling your issue. I am a chronic smoker, any my house smells like pine needles due to the incense I use. It works if you are willing to spend $50+ on the good shit.

>> No.1669108

Boil water. Add cinnamon sticks, orange peels and cloves. Boil for hours. Smell gone. Worked when I moved into a house which reeked like curry.

>> No.1670091

Take a shower

>> No.1670132

Might as well throw in brown sugar, spiced rum and apple cider while you're at it and make some bitchin hot cider.

>> No.1670161

Ozone generator. When done, open up a window, air the place out and light up some incense or something.

>> No.1671609

shit man my gf of 5 years about a month ago told me when we were stoned af that she secretly likes my "man musk" as she calls it.

So i went from ~6 showers/week to 3/week (every other day, no more daily)

somehow get laid more, everything i learned about women was wrong.

>> No.1671711

Odor medicine.

It's a chlorine based fumigation system. I would use them in commercial vans that people has smoked in to remove the smell.

Worked every time.

>> No.1671716

lots of deodorant

>> No.1671738

Have your girlfriend stand outside before she comes to visit you so she doesn't get used to the smell. Now take out pieces of furniture for her to smell, take the chair, take a pillow or bedclothes, take the laundry basket, take any rugs or cushions or shit, even drag the mattress for her to sniff. Obviously bad offenders need to get nuked. Sometimes my sports shirts still smell after I wash them because I left them in my bag too long, so I freeze them and then wash them and it seems to help. One really easy way to get a nice smell in the house is to use a good fabric softener when you wash clothes and dry them indoors by the heater or window.

If you have stinky feet, it's possible the bacteria has invaded your carpet.

>> No.1672786

The problem is the sweat. It evaporates from your warm body and condenses on everything.
Exercise somewhere else.

>> No.1672825

excuse me sir, what is a poonhound?

>> No.1672909
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I need to know this as well but don't want to wait three weeks for an answer

>> No.1672925
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get a inline duct fan 6" at least, these things fuckin move air, i use one to air out my entire house and leave it running for months straight. they work great!

>> No.1672929

Try a UVC fluorescent bulb
not while you're in there though, you'll burn your skin and eyes

>> No.1672945

ozone will nuke the scents out of your apartment
doesn't matter what it is or when it was
used by hotels after smokers

>> No.1672957

Hospitals use them to sterilize rooms.
It will burn your skin and eyes no problem, it will destroy all bacteria on you too though. Which is bad.

>> No.1673017

pretty sure the bacteria dying are the least of your concerns if you've got UVC beaming on your skin

>> No.1674576

pick up your dirty clothes and put them in a wash basket someplace you wont notice the smell

>> No.1674584

Clean everything, especially the air vents
dehumidify everything
get one of those girly air scents and put it out whenever a guest comes over.

>> No.1675858

Boil until the water is gone?
How much, how long
And is>>1670132 actually right or woukd that interfere too much?

>> No.1675974

You boil a pot with good essential oils and lemon peel with destroys all bacteria in your environment

then you burn Nag Champa incense every day for a week

>> No.1675977

Different oils have different properties to fight specific ailments

if you don't have pets

make a mixture of bicarbonate of soda and essential oil, sweep floor with it
and then vacuum or sweep up

>> No.1675980

roast some ginger in the oven to linger in the air

>> No.1675982

Fill your loo cistern with essential oils

and it lingers far better than horrible chemical products

but you might need to clean it once with cream clean OR

Bicarbonate of Soda, Lemon and maybe Hydrogen Peroxide diluted by 6 - aka 1 to ever 6 water

wear gloves, pour residue product in cistern

>> No.1675985


bin cloth every time you use it for toilet

>> No.1675987

Do not re-use bathroom cloths EVER for kitchen

do not use bathroom products for kitchen

clean hands whenever using products even if you were wearing gloves

if in doubt, pour boiling water in the sink

>> No.1675988

You need bathroom cleaning items

kitchen cleaning items

then other room cleaning items

the best duster is a very cheap paint brush - use dry and dust skirting and door frames

wash your skirting board, it lifts the room

>> No.1675991

If the floor doesn't seem dirty

mop it anyway with essential oils.

It needs mopped.

it needs brushed before being mopped.

No girl likes a messy apartment. It's not sophisticated.

>> No.1675993

Clean your oven and your cooker - they can cause a bad smell in the apartment.

Change your bedsheets at least once a week.

Add essential oils to laundry. Lavender helps people sleep.

If you have curtains make an essential oil spray for them - check youtube

do not smoke near essential oils

>> No.1675995


Leave incense or candles unattended


personal experience, don't get lazy with it

>> No.1675997

obviously clean your kitchen sink

have you checked your fridge?

Uh oh

rotten veg and whatever the hell else.

empty fridge -

clean it

re-stock properly and not with bullshit

>> No.1676001

clean the kitchen generally

what are these pizza and carry out boxes from two months ago?

get rid of it

>> No.1676003

If you need to

hire a cleaner for two days to do it for you

I imagine that would be $60 for 4 hours work

>> No.1676007

and if that doesn't work contact the local church, for an exorcism.

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